See this?

It’s my kitchen sink, a single kitchen sink.

Pretty innocuous right?

It’s not.


It should look like this.



But it doesn’t.

It looks like this,

not even three minutes after I said these words:

“Unless it needs to soak, it doesn’t belong in the sink.”

I used a lot more words before those words were spoken, such as I’m tired of nagging everyone about putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and Are you listening to me?

Those pleas were answered with:

I get it mom, you don’t need to keep telling me this.

Apparently he doesn’t, and I do.

If the dishes can make it to the sink there is no reason they can’t make it to the dishwasher.

There are no excuses.

I’m telling all of you about this because when they interview my neighbors I don’t want anyone saying something like this:

“She was always so nice. I don’t know what made her lose it and hold up a bank with her wrist rocket”

I’ll tell you what made me hold up a bank with my wrist rocket:

I need a vacation.

It should go without saying but I’m going to say it anyway.

Without my kids.

I haven’t had a real, grown up, vacation in 8 years. In fact the last time I took a vacation I ended up with my most recent kid. Thankfully I’ve solved that little problem.

I could probably swing the hotel and airfare (because at this point I need to go far away) by selling a cornea or two. If anyone needs a couple of corneas please send me an email.

The problem is, airfare and hotel are just the beginning.

I also need to kennel the dog for a week. Which means getting his shots caught up.

I would need to find a responsible adult, who is willing to watch my kids for a week. They’d probably want to be paid too.

I’d need to buy some clothes because as much as I have given up caring about my appearance, if I make it out of town, preferably someplace warm but I’m not really picky about that, I need to wear something besides paint covered sweat pants that are four sizes too large.

I know I shouldn’t complain. There are tons of single moms out there who have way more children than I do. But TLC isn’t making reality shows about Midwestern moms who wear paint stained sweat pants for three days in a row. Ty Pennington isn’t going to remodel my house because Extreme Home Makeover doesn’t do that for single moms with only two kids. I’d need eight more and at least one in a wheelchair.

As far as I can tell there is no charity set up for single mom bloggers who can’t come up with a decent post because they are in desperate need of a vacation. I’ve looked, I know, there isn’t one.