It’s my kitchen sink, a single kitchen sink.
Pretty innocuous right?
It should look like this.
But it doesn’t.
It looks like this,
not even three minutes after I said these words:
“Unless it needs to soak, it doesn’t belong in the sink.”
I used a lot more words before those words were spoken, such as I’m tired of nagging everyone about putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and Are you listening to me?
Those pleas were answered with:
I get it mom, you don’t need to keep telling me this.
Apparently he doesn’t, and I do.
If the dishes can make it to the sink there is no reason they can’t make it to the dishwasher.
There are no excuses.
I’m telling all of you about this because when they interview my neighbors I don’t want anyone saying something like this:
“She was always so nice. I don’t know what made her lose it and hold up a bank with her wrist rocket”
I’ll tell you what made me hold up a bank with my wrist rocket:
I need a vacation.
It should go without saying but I’m going to say it anyway.
Without my kids.
I haven’t had a real, grown up, vacation in 8 years. In fact the last time I took a vacation I ended up with my most recent kid. Thankfully I’ve solved that little problem.
I could probably swing the hotel and airfare (because at this point I need to go far away) by selling a cornea or two. If anyone needs a couple of corneas please send me an email.
The problem is, airfare and hotel are just the beginning.
I also need to kennel the dog for a week. Which means getting his shots caught up.
I would need to find a responsible adult, who is willing to watch my kids for a week. They’d probably want to be paid too.
I’d need to buy some clothes because as much as I have given up caring about my appearance, if I make it out of town, preferably someplace warm but I’m not really picky about that, I need to wear something besides paint covered sweat pants that are four sizes too large.
I know I shouldn’t complain. There are tons of single moms out there who have way more children than I do. But TLC isn’t making reality shows about Midwestern moms who wear paint stained sweat pants for three days in a row. Ty Pennington isn’t going to remodel my house because Extreme Home Makeover doesn’t do that for single moms with only two kids. I’d need eight more and at least one in a wheelchair.
As far as I can tell there is no charity set up for single mom bloggers who can’t come up with a decent post because they are in desperate need of a vacation. I’ve looked, I know, there isn’t one.
Ooops…I do this all the time, and yes, my mum tells me not to every time as well. I apologise on behalf of sons the world across 🙂
Sam, I appreciate your apology. Now stop leaving dishes in the sink!
Awesome! We got a blanket apology for all the men who do this.
Sam, I accept it. Thank you very much.
My husband does this too. What is wrong with them? It's not like I don't have a dishwasher right there! Okay, you do need a vacation. Fly to Oakland or San Francisco. I will pick you up and bring you to our house where you can have Harry's apartment for the week. Since I'm either fat or skinny all of the time, I will dress you in non-paint splattered clothing and take you to SF for shopping, to the Vampire Bar in Alameda. We will borrow Alex's BMW M-Roadster, put the top down and go to the wine country. We will act really cute and sophisticated. The only down side is that you may have to sleep with Harry. It could be worse.
Sleeping with Harry has got to be getter than this. As soon as I get some
sponsors I'm on my way.
I'd take that sink any day.
“eight more and at least one in a wheelchair” bwahahaha.
I am crossing my fingers for you for a personal vacation. Maybe you could set up a blogger convention…? Would that be considered a vacation?
It would be considered a vacation if I were not in my home and my children were not with me. A blogger convention would be fun but I still have to find a buyer for my corneas.
I am so sorry. I remember being a single with 5 too few kids to get a new house. Maybe take a mental vacation.
(Oh..and I found that if you box up all plates, and bowls except one for each..they start washing it themselves. And quickly too.)
There is no question from my husband I hate more in the world than “Are these dishes clean?”
O. M. F. G. Can't you just LOOK and SEE if they're clean????? If there are not chunks of breakfast, lunch or dinner on anything inside, then go ahead and assume they are clean. And while you're at it, EMPTY IT!
p.s. I would watch your kids for a week if you pay me in bacon.
How much bacon?
I would require something on the order of 12-20 slices a day. This obviously needs to be split into equal servings across meals. Meals are included, right? I'm simple. Just need a loaf of bread, cheese, and mayo. If the kids aren't picky eaters, I can figure something out. Or, we could have takeout every night. They'd love me for that, wouldn't they?
I'm okay with them foraging for a week. The big one eats my monthly budget
worth of groceries in about two days. The little one you have to force to
eat. She doesn't like icky food, good luck figuring out what that is because
it changes every day. I really appreciate this, I'm going to put them on a
plane as soon as I can get them packed, and I can get rid of these damn
No kidding, I just walked into my kitchen. One child has his hands in the
box of cereal, the other is drinking out of the milk carton and the third on
is sitting on the counter. Only one of these children did I birth. I have no
idea who is sitting on my counter and I really have no idea why he didn't
get the fuck off when I walked into the kitchen.
That was seriously hysterical. I am WITH you on the dishes in the sink!
Put them in the dishwasher already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My husband likes to soak things that need no soaking.
For Mother's Day I narrowed and lowered my expectations to wanting lilacs from our garden and using the sprayer in the sink to keep it white. Someone dumps coffee in there and never sprays 🙁 Grrrr…..
Have you made any money? Brilliant idea!
No, and I still have my corneas. I'm never going to get a vacation.
Isn't if funny how these little things are the ones that send us over the dishwasher edge and straight into the eleven o'clock news?
I'm calling Ty. There HAS to be a soft spot for an adorable funny blogger such as yourself.
I feel your pain. I am going on a 3 day vacation out of state shortly with my girlfriend. I am counting the days, hours and minutes. We can't go on a real fly out of town location because of her kids. I have some flexibility with my exhb since he doesn't work, but she doesn't have that luxury. So, I will look forward to my 3 day vacation and future camping trips. She's currently doing online research for a car that can tow, so hopefully we will be camping soon.
I'm with you; if they can get it all the way to the sink, put it in the damned dishwasher!
And you need to find a way to do a vacation. We all have to have a vacation or we'll lose our minds!
I'm pretty sure I have lost it already. This weekend was supposed to be the
weekend that at least one kid went to her dad's for the weekend. I was
looking forward to it, did the happy dance when I dropped her off at school.
She never went and now her father doesn't have any idea why I'm not
answering his calls. I have nothing to say, he doesn't get it because he has
never spent more than 48 hours with ONE child.
Someone needs a bottle of tequila to pour herself a vacation…and a new fridge magnet that says “Self cleaning kitchen…Clean it your @#$% self.”
I tell everyone, “There is no dishwasher fairy that comes in here and puts the dishes from the sink in the dishwasher. We do not own a dishwasher fairy!” How much effort does it take! Seriously? It's right next to the sink. And they have good strong backs to bend over.
I need a vacation every day from my kids by 5:00.
LOL – I get it, I definitly get it!
Execpt for one thing…and…I probably should google it and find out…but, instead I will post my question here…knowing full well that I may be the butt of a joke (and I'm SO ok with that)… What's a Wrist Rocket?
A wrist rocket is a sling shot that has a brace on it for your wrist, it's
to get better aim and more power. I used the wrist rocket to hit the
squirrels when they dig up my garden. I haven't actually hit one yet but I'm
Ahhh…I get it! See, my mind was going in a very different direction – somewhere along the same area as your Are You Inspired post. LOL…Your explanation make everything much clearer!
Good luck with those squirrels…
No, I'll come and stay at your house while you're away. All you need do is send me my airfare, leave me enough food and , oh and I almost forgot, send your kids to Kathy's – deal?
Good news! There is a charity set up for single mom bloggers who can’t come up with a decent post because they are in desperate need of a vacation…it's called the local bar. After 3 pitchers you won't care about your dog or stained pants or dishes. It's a beautiful thing.
You are a mom after my own heart!
I was just about to tell you my vacation of choice is gin & tonic, but I see someone has already commented along those lines. But seriously…g&t's…and they're cheap!
I love G&Ts especially in the summer when it is warm. They are so
refreshing. I still need to find my happy place but maybe the gin and tonics
will help with that too. Better yet, I could have a gin and tonic on a beach
far far away from my children.
Now that's a vacation!
Nice to know I'm not alone in this dilemma!
Sounds like you need a grandparent or two to step in and give you a break.
I know that feeling. I need a “child free” vacation at least once a year! Doesn't look like its going to happen for me either.
I'm ridiculously happy that I don't have kids yet. Not because I wouldn't want kids, but because we don't have a dishwasher. Every single spoon, bowl, glass, fork, pan, pot and plate has to be washed by hand, by ME. I'm pretty sure that if I had a baby, I wouldn't even have time to feed it, I'd be too busy doing the dishes. That said, I'll look after your kids if I can have your dishwasher.
he he, yeah, u seriously need a vacation, that too immediately 🙂
haha I'm not even a single mom and I could use a vacation.. But I will admit I'm probably the one responsible for always leaving that bowl in the sink… my bad!
You're thinking like a mom. Male teens fear opening the dishwasher, because they may find that the dishes within are clean, which means they must be put away. That's a lot of responsibility for one so young and frail.
Hmmm interesting, even more so that last night I went to bed (extremely) early and my step daughter (full fledge teenager) came in for dinner, relatively late. She didnt get the usual 'rinse it and put it in the dishwasher please'
I woke up this morning to find her dishes, neatly put on the sink above the dishwasher but not rinsed off… atleast she put the leftovers back in the fridge!
On the other hand, if you cant afford flying and would prefer keeping your corneas, have you thought about sending the kids off for the weekend, a sleepover with friends. and you can either stay in the house, or take a room somewhere for the weekend.
Or, sometimes all you need to 'rejuvenate' is pampering yourself. if you work full time, take an afternoon off, and go for a massage somewhere, or a facial.
another suggestion is pocket money for your older child. you give him a list of things to do for the week, in exchange of let's say 10$. for example, every morning make your bed, every night rinse out the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, monday to friday.
that makes 10 items. each time, one isnt done, you substract 1$ from his weekly allowance (to be given on Friday.)
It could be a small incentive to get things going.
if he doesnt do it, its money that stays in your pocket (how about a special pocket that if you end up keeping it, you get to use it to pamper yourself nonetheless)
if he does it, you have peace of mind re: the dishes.
There are plenty of solutions out there, you just need to sit down and think 'outside the box'
Those are all great suggestion. And if I could think I would love to think
outside the box. However, until I get some time to myself I am unable to
think. It's one of those catch-22s.
Unfortunately the boy has a job so $10 is no motivation for him. I'd have to
up the ante or suggest he buy his own groceries.
I would like to compliment you on the cleanliness of your sink (sorry, my sink actually needs scrubbing). I am also impressed that you have the dedication to keep your magnet correct. I had one of those and just couldn't remember to switch it.
I haven't touched the magnet since I stuck it on there. I just figured the
odds were better it was dirty and if it is clean I empty it so then it is
dirty again. It's a stupid thing actually because aside from when it is
washing it is always in dirty mode. Unless you don't empty your dishwasher
and just take clean dishes out of it like you would a cupboard but I can't
live that way so this works better for me.
I totally scrubbed the sink for that picture, I even took the dirty dish out
so I could scrub and then put it back, how sick is that?
poor thing – I think I will copy your post exactly and run it on my blog cuz my little brats do the exact same thing. Probably every mom could. We should start a kidswap, or a kidshare – I take your kids for a week so you can go on vacation and then I'll send you mine, etc the only problem would be that most parents wouldn't pick their kids back up again.
They used to have this thing called Granny Dumping and there is also that
rule where you can drop off unwanted babies at the hospital, you'd think
they'd have an option for kids between the ages of 2 and 18. Just for a
little while of course.
I agree with frogmama—head to the bar!
I like my sink empty as well. I totally get it. And dishwashers are generally right next to sinks for a reason, kids!
Pure laziness. Drives me batty.
I have a simple dishwashing machine philosophy.
If the dish needs to be rinsed before it goes in the dishwasher, you might as well wash it, dry it and put it away. If the dish needs to be washed before it goes in the dishwasher, well, ditto.
But, if you know you will soon have more dishes, then it doesn't make sense to rinse or wash one dish, so you might as well leave it in the sink and wash them all at once. Plus, if you have dishes that are not dishwasher-safe, you need to wash them anyway.
When the sink gets full, you wash them. Mind you, the sink fills faster than the dishwasher, and since you don't want to run the dishwasher on a partial load because that would be a waste of water, soap and electricity, you end up washing the dishes by hand anyway.
The end result is that the dishwasher is a waste of space and getting rid of it means more cupboard space. And who can't use more cupboard space?
I have often thought that would be a great thing to do, getting rid of my
dishwasher because I really do need more cupboard space. However, the
dishwasher is a great place to quickly hide dirty dishes so I keep it. I do
wash a lot of dishes by hand because they won't fit in the dishwasher but
that only happens when the sink gets filled up because no one has bothered
to put it in the dishwasher.
Yet another reason I never had children. Yes, there are always dishes in the sink, but they're mine.
You're always welcome at Chateau Martin.
And actually, this a pretty ingenious freakin' post.
Maybe we should pool our resources and all go on a vacation together. We could shove all the kids and pets into one house and pay some fool to kid/pet sit them all. Alas, no planes and fancy hotels for me, though. I've switched to camping because it's still affordable and I can totally get away from the phones.
I'm up for camping, I love camping, I just don't want to do any work. We
might have to bring someone to do the cooking and fire lighting. I can do it
but I just don't want to. I love the idea of putting all the animals
together in one house.
I love playing with the fire… a pyromaniac at heart! But I could really go for a chef to accompany us. Nothing like some good eats, cooked over an open flame by somebody else! (With the accompanying cocktails & wine, of course.)
Wouldn't it be fun to Alton Brown come with us? We could eat well and learn
You complained about being a single mother of two blogger with dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher.
Until you met a mother of five blogger whose dishwasher is broken and still in pieces from where her husband looked at it and who just found out that the spin cycle on her washer is broken and whose husband keeps finding and eating her good chocolate.
You are welcome for me teaching you this very valuable life lesson.
(Let's rent some sort of old convertible and run off. That'll learn them. He who steals chocolate can take care of all the kids and dogs)
This past week has been nothing but a battle for chocolate. I think I have
said “Don't eat my chocolate” more times than I have said “Put down the
I'll have to drop my kids off at your house when we rent that convertible
but I am sure you husband won't even notice two more.
Ha I love your blog. You do have a clean sink. I can't even find counter space with all the crap in my kitchen. I would kill for just 1 dish in my sink.
“I’d need eight more and at least one in a wheelchair.” YOU CRACK ME UP. You know I love you, right? You need to come to the beach house with us! But you would have to watch your mouth around my mom. Trust me, there are NO dishes in the sink at mom's house. HOW did she train us to do that? I'm too old to remember!
I love this! Robbing a bank with a wrist rocket, lol.
I am the same way when it comes to repeating myself… over and… over again- what they claim are simple tasks they already know to do. Well… then why don't they?!!
When you get to go on that vacation – I want to go too!!
the dish Nazi
You wanna come be my sister wife? My husband has very low libido and is hardly ever home. My kids are PITA's but no worse than your average raving lunatic.
Wow, that's a great offer. I'll keep you posted. Sure you don't want to come
with us in the convertible?
Le sigh… sadly, these are the days of our mom-lives. I've only got one. She's fifteen and she doesn't understand the concept of dishwasher no matter how many times we go over it. If you find a way to get that free vacation, lemme know. I want in! IN, I tell you!
you probably will not believe it but I'm the one trying to keep the sink empty. Now I don't get complete credit but maybe a B-. The pans and non dishwasher stuff do “soak” a little longer than they probably should. You know there's blogging that needs attending.
But in some reverse role thing my wife tends to leave dishes in the sink now and I'm always filling the dishwasher with them. The whole mess of dishes and pans is one reason I don't care to cook. Thank the lord (maybe a bright engineer?) for the microwave.
Since I wrote this post my son has kept the sink clean (okay, for a day), I
have found myself putting dishes in the sink and have no one to blame if he
isn't doing it.
You get more than a B-, I would say if you are usually putting your wife's
dishes in the dishwasher then you should get an A- and definitely an A for
I do it for the cooked food and maybe less stressful evenings.
You are a very smart man!
You get me up there and I'll come watch the kids and the animals. I know where your at momma because I was like that with just one kid. And cause I'm nice like that, I'd do that for you. For real.
And I have proof that one child and two dogs have survived me so no worries there. 😉
At one time I had 3 of the kids living at home ages: 16, 22, 26. I had a constant battle with the dirty dishes/kitchen. One day I came home from work and again the dishes were piled up and crap was covering the counters. I went temporarily insane and started dumping food out of the freezer and pantry into the garbage can. I told them I was no longer feeding any of them if they were going to act as if this house was their personal hotel! I was screaming at the top of my lungs the entire time. I should have gone to the bar instead.
I'd loan you the kid in the wheelchair to get a house built by Ty but I'm wishing they would do a show for me. Military wife with three kids one in a wheelchair doesn't cut it either. I think one of the requirements is you actually have to own your home but since every time we buy a house the army moves us a year later that ain't happening any time soon. I'm sick of Murphy's Law. I hope you get a vacation soon!
Aww, man! If you can't get Ty to come make you a new house then I don't
stand a chance. I can't compete with a wheelchair and the military. I bet if
my son was in the military but was injured and therefor in a wheelchair, and
of course living back at home once he was discharged, I might stand a
I'm well educated on Murphy's Law too.
We've all been talking about pulling a Thelma and Louise and getting a
convertible, we'll pick you up.
Sounds good! Pick me up!
Screw the tonic and just hit the gin. Ever have gin and lemonade? The kids will never suspect you are drinking gin with it and you won't remember your kids, so there is the perfect world.
I'll go on vacation with you! 🙂
It has been close to nine years for me since I had a real vacation. I'm a single mom too and yeah, no one really gives a shit how we spend our time.
Unless we want to spend it away from them and then they care a whole lot
because who would do everything for them? I'm never going to go on a
vacation because by the time they are both out of the house one of them will
have a kid and will expect me to look after it.
Hilarious!!! Also a single mom with one teenager. Need to expand the donation theme to national org for single moms who need an adult-only vacation!