For crying out loud terrorists, stop trying to bomb New York City!

Why do you hate us so much? When I say ‘us’ I don’t really mean us since I don’t live anywhere near NYC, but I do mean ‘us’ as in U.S.

Stop it, you’re pissing me off.

Midtown Manhattan is closed at the moment because of a suspicious cooler left on the street. This follows the failed car bomb attempt last weekend and a whole bunch of other failed attempts since 9/11.

Don’t you have a better place to blow up? Surely there is some third world country that no one knows about that you could blow up just to get your jollies?

Whoever you are, and you know who you are, setting off a cooler isn’t going to stop us. People in NYC are tough. They eat guys like you for breakfast and don’t even burp. Didn’t you see The Godfather? How about Escape From NY? Hell, there are tons of movies out there that you should order from NetFlix right now before you strap another bomb on yourself.

I’m sick and tired of you terrorists messing up my weekends. All the shows get preempted and a gal can only watch so many hours of a shot of a cooler. It’s just not that interesting.

And let me tell you one more thing Mr. Terrorist wannabe, just because we have a peace loving president doesn’t mean that he won’t take you out if he has to. Cuz he totally will, just watch.


Well, it would seem that some guy just left his cooler on the street on accident. The dude probably walked across the street to get a hot dog or something and someone saw an abandoned cooler and freaked out.

Shows over, nothing to see here.

This is what terrorism is. Even when those bad guys weren’t trying to blow us up today we think they are because somebody walked across the street to grab some lunch and didn’t want to haul his cooler with him, he probably had a good spot picked out and wanted to hold it with the cooler.

What do you bet someone from a terrorist group tries to claim responsibility for this? Dudes are phoning it in these days.

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