“Unless you are dragging a bloody limb or you have actually and literally coughed up a lung you are both going to school tomorrow!”

I spoke those very words this evening.

Both of my kids have been sick this week. I have had at least one of them home each day this week. Monday they were both home. Granted they were sick. I know they were sick because each of them, independently, decided to forgo television, video games, the computer, the phone and any other electronic device to sleep on Saturday.

They have been sick. I know this because the daughter had a fever until last night and the son asked to go to the doctor.

The daughter was ready to stay home again today. She said her tummy hurt and was ready to spend another day on the couch with the dog and the remote. She was ready to do this until I told her that we would all be going to the doctor if we chose not to go to school.

“My tummy doesn’t hurt anymore”


I took my son to the doctor. We got right in and waited patiently as the receptionist finished her half hour long call to her boyfriend. After making a copy of the insurance cards and offering me reams of paper regarding the privacy act I was told we could sit down. There was no one else in the waiting room which was odd since it is the middle of the flu season. This didn’t speed up the wait time just something I thought was interesting.

Once they weighed and measured my son we were escorted into another room where he was poked and prodded by someone who was not a doctor. After taking the strep test we were told to wait a little longer. The person who was not a doctor asked my son to remove his hoodie so the doctor could listen better to his lungs.

My son removed his sweatshirt revealing his arms which had been drawn on by his classmates, apparently when he was sleeping in class. That was his excuse which caused all sorts of noises to come out of my mouth, in a hushed tone of course but no less pissed off.

If the kid wants to draw on his arms with pen that’s his business. I’m not worried about ink poisoning or anything like that but was it necessary to let his friends draw hairy penises all over his arms? What does he think when he does these things? Obviously not that he might be visiting the doctor any time soon that is for sure.

My son has been fascinated with his penis since he first gained control of his movements when he was about a week or so old. His hand latched onto it when I was changing a diaper and he hasn’t let go since. I’m not a guy but I’ve been around enough to know that they like their willies. Great. Do we have do draw pictures of said willy on our very own arm. Can’t we just look down?

I drew on my arms and shoes in high school. Sometimes it can’t be avoided. Inspirations strikes and one must go along for the ride. I never drew penises on my clothing, body or anywhere else. Ok, I may have doodled a few doodles in my notebooks but I didn’t present them to the teacher or my parents.

He could have scrubbed off his member before we went to the doctor. He had warning.

Turns out he has the flu. The doctor said he was fine otherwise and could go to school tomorrow. There is no treatment and he is not contagious unless he pukes on someone. He does not have the puking flu he has respiratory flu. Whatever.

They are both going to school tomorrow. I am not waiting on anyone tomorrow. If someone wants tea they are going to make it themselves and make one for me while they are at it. I am not taking anyone’s (daughter) temperature tonight or tomorrow. I will not be feeling anyone’s forehead either.

Tomorrow I want the house to myself. I am behind, way behind on work and I need to draw some things on my arms, if I can remember what they look like.