Before I get into today’s post I think it is important for all of us to tip our hats to Billy Mays, the Oxy Clean guy. If it weren’t for him I would have never gotten those poop stains out of the carpet when my dog had Parvo and I would still be wearing spit up on my left shoulder. In honor of Billy Mays, who went down like a fighter after getting bonked on the head by a wayward piece of luggage, we should all refrain from doing laundry for one day. On the bright side I can fall asleep in front of the TV and know that I will never be woken out of a sound sleep by some shouting maniac with petrol treated hair. RIP Billy Mays, you will be missed.
Michael Jackson faked his own death. Obviously. Yeah the guy looked sick, yeah he was a freak but he was also in debt up to his surgically placed eyebrows. He had announced a tour that most 50 year olds who only use heroin or coke would have been unable to pull off. The tickets were sold and he was making money but not enough to cover the nearly 500 million in debt he had accrued through legal fees, plastic surgery that he denied and out of control spending. He was renting a house for $100,000/month when he had a perfectly good two bedroom home in Indiana. It doesn’t make sense to me but I suppose if I were jacked up on Demoral I might do some stupid things too.
I remember when Elvis died. It was a hot day in August and I remember the date since it was my grandfather’s birthday. I wasn’t a huge fan of Elvis but my brother was and I knew all the songs. It never occurred to me that he might fake his death but I was only 11 at the time and didn’t know or care about the circumstances of his life or death. I do know a lot of people didn’t believe he died but I don’t remember why. Space aliens were blamed for his disappearance and I suppose it might be a possibility, he was the king and even aliens need to hear good music. Elvis’ estate (his ex wife and daughter) went on to make gobs of money by opening Graceland for tourists and he’s probably still selling a ton of records. I’m sure he is worth more now than he was on that day in August of 1977.
Getting back to Michael Jackson’s fake death… His family has been interviewed and all they keep saying is that he was the greatest superstar on earth, his kids are doing fantastic and we all need to remember why he will always be the number one superstar. No tears, no sobs, no blame. These people act as if nothing happened. Again I know he was a freak but his family might be just a little upset that he is dead.
And the women who gave birth to his children, Prince I, Paris, and Prince II aka Blanket, (I’m going off topic here just a bit. First of all he only had three kids, couldn’t he have come up with one more name? And Prince? Really, you had to name two of your kids after the guy who was your only real competition. Remember when Prince (Rogers Nelson) was the freak and Michael was the normal one?) Any way the women who gave birth to his children have not come forward yet. Why not? When Anna Nicole died there were at least five different men including Senator John McCain who claimed to be the father of what’s her name. Surely these women who rented out their wombs and then gave up their children to an accused pedophile might be in the whole baby making thing for money and the money train just rolled in when he supposedly died. There are books to be made, made for TV movies, interviews on every news channel and then the exploitation of these musical prodigies. I realize that if he really did die and his parents have custody that they will be exploited but you’d think the women who gave up their kids so easily might just make an appearance with their hands held open wide.
Michael’s music has been selling like hot cakes since they announced his death. Even though the ticket holders to the 50 concerts in London will hopefully be reimbursed he is still making some money right now. More than he has in a long time. He still owns part of the Beatles’ music catalog and he has his own as well. I suspect that ever time the news channels play one of his songs or videos they have to pay a royalty. Those fees alone are racking up some nice change at the moment.
He really needed to die. He reputation was horribly tarnished by the whole sleeping-with-little-boys-and-giving-them-Jesus-Juice-thing. He might be able to live down the Bubbles thing or the hyperbolic sleeping chamber or even wanting the Elephant Man’s bones but no one likes a pedophile. Okay most people don’t like pedophiles but I suppose there are some that can be bought. It was not likely that he would be able to achieve the kind of record sales he had with even some of his more recent stuff after the trial. He had mounting debt, no way to really pay it off since he spent way more than he earned. But in death all that talk of being a child molester will fade away. His music is the important thing. And sales have gone through the roof.
Michael could easily pull off a fake death. Plastic surgery is his forte and since he didn’t look like himself anyway it is easy to assume that he would have no problem looking like some one else, possibly Liza Minnelli or Cher. He could become a pop star with a new look and new moves as long has he doesn’t make that noise or grab his crotch ever again. Hell he could go back to the way he used to look when he was black and no one would recognize him, not even his family since they don’t look like that anymore either.
We haven’t heard the last of Michael Jackson. Even if he is really dead, which he isn’t, he apparently had hundreds of recorded songs and videos. Tupac has put out an album every year since his death why can’t Michael?
I’m reminded of one of Ayn Rands books, either The Fountainhead or Atlas Shrugged, I can’t remember which since I hated both of them. In the book all the really smart people faked their death and went to live in some hidden valley in the mountains. There was some optical illusion used so no one could spot this place. They all lived there thinking horribly selfish thoughts, eating chicken wings and veggies with ranch salad dressing and because they were so smart they figured out a way so that the dressing didn’t all go to their hips. I think the book went something like that. Anyway I imagine there might be a hidden valley where Elvis, Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole Smith, Michael Jackson, Sonny Bono, James Dean, John Denver, Princess Diana, and Billy Mays are living in peace and harmony. Laughing all the way to the bank.