I should have updated you all sooner regarding the matchmaking that JD is doing for me. Unfortunately JD has been doing sleep studies, driving over fetuses and watching Adam Lambert’s magical glowing crotch and I have been running around buying a new car. The whole thing kinda got put on the back burner.

I have not bothered to search for any potential matches and apparently neither have any of my blogging friends. However the ad was a hit and I had many, many responses. Unfortunately none of them piqued much interest.

In my profile I mention that I do not want to have any more children. Of all the things in my profile that is the only one that I will not negotiate. I don’t mind dating someone who has children of their own but I don’t want to make anymore. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel and I don’t want to set the clock back.

This little fact was ignored by a slew of potential ex husbands. So not only are some of these guys gluttons for punishment but they want me to hop on that train too. Sorry, I’m done.

The rest of the guys who responded, and a couple of women, seemed to ignore all the other requests I had for a mate.

For some reason age is something that people think doesn’t matter to me. I prefer someone in my age range, 38-48, that’s a big spread. However most of the men who responded were either in their late 20’s or late 60’s. There was even one guy who was 21. Tempting, I know, but I’d like a guy who doesn’t get carded and whose meat I don’t have to cut.

Interestingly, even though I mentioned I like tall guys that seemed to translate into “I really like short guys but am embarrassed to say so, so please ignore this and contact me anyway”. I realize that height for men is kinda like weight for women. Both are really hard to lie about but they do anyway. I’m not against short men but I like to wear heals occasionally and I don’t want to be all Nicole Kidman to their Tom Cruise. Obviously if they had as much money as Tom Cruise they would look a lot taller. Since no one has yet to send me copies of their Roth or 401k I have to assume they are not as rich as Tom Cruise and therefore as short as he is.

I’ve touched on this before but it is worth repeating: Spelling Counts. If a guy can’t spell I am not the one for him. One guy spelled “women”, wimmen! And a good many of them spelled “a lot”, alot. Spellcheck has been around for a really long time and dictionaries have been around for even longer, there is no excuse for horrible spelling. I know I should let it slide. God knows neither of my ex husbands could spell all that well but I met them in real life and wasn’t reading about who they are. Dating in the ’00s means one has to know how to spell or at least know how to use Spellcheck.

The rest of the guys were just guys. Probably someones knight in shining armor but not mine. Not one of them seemed to have a sense of humor. Maybe they are taking the whole dating experience really seriously and want to come off as a caring, thoughtful (though not thoughtful enough to look up a word in the dictionary), respectful kind of guy, I don’t know for sure. But I do know that most of them come off as a wet blanket. I’ve had wet blankets, I want to laugh. With them not at them, I have two ex husbands for that. Here is a hint for guys who are in their 40’s, not nearly as hot as Hugh Jackman or George Clooney, going bald, have an ex who they give half their income to and who probably can’t do it like a 20 year old anymore, funny makes up for all of that. It really does, trust me.

I’ll keep looking, who know maybe Sean Connery needs a date? Is he still alive?