I’m so sick of this broken shoulder – and yes, I would like some cheese with this whine, and you might too – it’s been over a month and while it is a whole lot better than it was, it still hurts (like a mofo today) and is still pretty useless.
This past Monday I was cleared by my doctor to start physical therapy. I was feeling pretty good on Monday – my shoulder was loose and I could do things with it. I had started going without my sling because it caused my neck to hurt and caused the muscles in my right arm to constantly be flexed, which was uncomfortable. I had just started sleeping lying down and I was able to drive around the neighborhood. I don’t feel confident enough in my ability to drive on the freeway yet.
I felt like things were finally getting better.
And then I overdid it and feels like I am right back where I started.
I don’t know what I did to overdo it. I’ve had my daughter drive with me so she can do the gear shift and turn the car on. I can’t remember the last time I vacuumed and while I did briefly switch my mouse back to the right hand it was uncomfortable and I’m back to typing with just my left hand – WHICH TAKES FOREVER!!!!
Today – Wednesday – I can’t lift it without excruciating pain. I can’t lift any weight without pain. Having it hang at my side hurts and having it in the sling hurts. Tylenol barely takes the edge off and cold packs just make feel the need to pee.
My house is a mess, the sink is filled with dishes even though I swear to God I put them in the dishwasher or washed them by hand. There’s been two laundry baskets on the dining room table for over a week!
Oh, and the sling causes my forearm and wrist a lot of pain so in addition to the sling I am now also wearing my wrist splint.
Everything is sweaty and one of the dog’s ate the foam padding part that goes around my neck.
Because I don’t sleep much my brain is foggy – foggier than usual – and I forget everything. Also because I don’t sleep much I watch a lot of Perry Mason – the original, not the new one which I was unable to get into. Law shows have come a long way since the late 50s/early 60s. I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure Perry would be held in contempt at every trial. He likely would have ben disbarred for his shenanigans. And yet, I watch a few episodes every single night.
We dressed better in the 50s and 60s, I wish we stilled dressed that way. I might wish that because I haven’t worn pants with a zipper in over a month. I dress like I’m going shopping at Walmart
My back hurts.
I’m cold, unless I’m having a hot flash and then I’m burning up but have to sit in it because it hurts too much to push up the sleeves on either arm.
I’ve seriously considered smoking again for the dopamine hits.
I know this will pass, I know by the time the tulips start pushing through the earth that I’ll feel much better. I fantasize about spring and warm weather more than I ever have because I know I’ll be through the worst of this and this constant pain and helplessness and vulnerability will be a distant memory.
It just isn’t right now.
Thank God for seas salt chocolate covered caramels.