I realize that I rarely really rant on this blog. I piss and moan a lot but I don’t usually let it rip. This time I’m pissed so if you don’t want to read anymore foul language leave now.
I’ll try to be brief so here are the facts:
Ex #2 owes over $12k in child support arrears.
I have carried this debt for two years.
The arrears are reported on his credit report each month.
Last year we went to a lawyer and drew up a list of work he would do on my house in exchange for me writing off the debt.
The work he agreed to hardly comes to that amount, maybe half, but I need the work done. I can’t afford to hire another contractor and we have worked hard to get along.
This past spring he replaced my sump pump. It took him 10 hours. He also removed the overhead light from daughter’s room. Last week he removed the overhead light from my room. He has not replaced either of them.
I wasn’t expecting him to finish the electrical work (he’s an electrician) until this winter when he knew he would be laid off. He is now laid off.
When he removed my broken light he said he would finish the work this past week.
Nothing happened.
Last night he called me up and told me that he was going to be taking me to court to have the arrears removed and to lower his monthly child support payments.
I have full legal and physical custody.
He says he is not going to complete the work he agreed to do and that I should hire someone if I can afford it.
Those are the facts. He’s an ass. I don’t think he will be able to reduce the arrears. I don’t think he will be able to lower his child support obligation. He may be able to temporarily while he is not working but since he is making more money collecting unemployment and working cash jobs it seems unlikely. Of course they are cash jobs and thus there is no paper trail. The people he works for are all friends, people I used to be friends with but because they are contractors he got them in the divorce. I do not want to involve these people if I don’t have to.
I’m pissed that he is being a jackoff but I’m not surprised. We are divorced for a reason. I’m pissed because I have no fucking lights! This wasn’t such a problem in the summer but it gets dark at 4:30 pm for crying out loud. I can’t afford to hire another electrician right now, especially if I have to hire an attorney to fight him over the child support issue.
What I am most pissed off about is that he spent Thanksgiving with us. We seemed to be friends. I’m also pissed that I ever got involved with such an idiot and that I trusted him again. I feel played all over again. And I have no stinkin’ lights!
I am so sorry that this is happening to you…getting your feelings hurt by him again and not having any lights.
Davida
Wow, he really sounds like a lazy sack of crap.
Not to mention a slimy tax cheat, taking cash jobs so he doesn’t have to report income to you, the courts, or the government.
I guess that as a parent, you can turn your experience with him into a lesson for your children on what not to be and how not to treat people, right?
Jen,
I’m sorry you’re in that spot. Can you take pictures of the unfinished work, so you can present proof if he does go to court?
Good luck, and I’m keeping you in my thoughts.
Gdad, I have pictures of the last two projects/houses he never finished. At some point the judge is going to say to me “You should have known better”. He still owes the money so that is something and the work he did do will not be credited against his debt. I can only remove the arrears once so it has to be all of them.
Stanley, he owes the IRS 42k for doing the cash jobs. He never learns either.
The thing about the kids is that I was trying to show them that even though we are divorced we can still get along. I just ended up teaching my kids how not to be a fool so I guess that’s a good lesson.
Here in Arkansas, we have the state Office of Child Support Enforcement that deals with deadbeats like this guy. If I were you, I’d see if they have something similar in your state and get in touch with them.
That may do more good than you realize and you shouldn’t be out a dime if it’s a simple matter of “this guy’s behind in his child support.”
Back in my lawyering days, I was amazed at how quickly people would find that child support money when they were tossed in jail for nonpayment.
Good luck!
I use Ramsey Co Child Support Services for this case. They are aware of his arrears and in fact helped him make a payment arrangement which works out to about $100 a month. The problem is that he switches jobs every 3-6 months and it takes that long for the new employer to start deductions. He hasn’t paid since June or July because his employer didn’t comply with the county. The whole system is messed up. But thanks for the suggestion. As they say you can’t get blood from a turnip. Especially if the turnip doesn’t want to bleed.
I’m sorry to hear it! But it could be worse…you could still be married to the bum.
I remind myself of that every day!
Sometimes when I use the "F" word I feel better. Like when I hit a bad golf shot or slam my finger in a door. I yell F#%&! and the pain seems to stop for a minute. I hope you got some temporary gratification from this post! What did he do to your lights? How big of a job is it? I'm not an electrician but I've hung/wired many lights in the past. Maybe you can find a friend or relative to help you get your lights in. If not, maybe your ex will realize his error. Good Luck with it all! I can tell you're pissed! Check this out:
http://curageousideas.blogspot.com/2008/12/kids-and-curse-words.html
Intrepideas, yes I feel better when I use the word, at least a bit. I’d feel much better if I could castrate him a little too but that wouldn’t be very nice now would it?
He took the lights that were in the ceiling out because I bought new ones that were going to be wired to a switch. I’m short and couldn’t reach daughter’s light without standing on her bed and she couldn’t reach it at all. They were both fans but neither worked. I have knob and tube so he was going to replace that and bring it up to code and then install the new lights I bought last spring. If it wasn’t knob and tube I would hang them myself but I want the place to be safe. My brother is a contractor but he has “boundaries” he thinks I need to handle these things without calling my big brother. I asked anyway but he said I need to hire someone.
I like your blog.
Okay, that explains it a little better. Best of luck getting it all worked out. Whatever you do, don’t castrate him until he does the electical work! (smile) Otherwise, he’ll never get around to it! I’ll be back.
(smile) I’ll keep that under advisement. He’s not going to do the work castration or no. I’ll get it figured out. I am woman!
Thanks.
UGH!! What an A$$!! I wish I could confidently say he would never get away with it…but I never can tell with the judicial system. He really makes the dads that are trying out there look bad.
GIRL!! I guess it's been a week of f*&^k heads… lol.. and it's only Tuesday… hahaha.. Think of it this way… I'd rather run around with a flashlight (and a few other battery operated tools) that deal with his dumb a$$…
Three words: photos, photos, photos.
Hi Dana,
Just reading your comments, its good to see you are the A$$HOLE you always were, how is limp D!CK Joe doing, God I’m so effing glad he is out of my life, you can have the old git!!