That is precisely what Pope Benedict told his priests. He wants them to embrace the new technology and get the good word out.
I’m pretty sure he meant “For God’s sake, blog!” as in “let’s get out there and blog for God”, rather than “For God sake, blog!” as in “if you priests want to hook up with some young boys get on the god damn internet”.
I’m almost certain that is what he meant.
I could be wrong but I am pretty sure there are already a lot of people praising God in their blogs. I know I pass by several. Of course I leave as quickly as I can so no one tries to save me.
Just what are these priests going to talk about in their blogs?
“Today I did a little calligraphy and then I prayed. Father John has got to get himself some Altoids if he is going to continue to sit next to me during prayer. I can’t summon the right amount of contemplation and praise when all I can think about is getting away from his dog ass breath.” -Father Mike
or
“I can’t believe my DB (dear brother), he is so silly sometimes. Today he lost his glasses and was getting angry when he couldn’t find them. I told him to look on his night stand because he was reading last night before he went to sleep. He didn’t want to hear what I had to say. He doesn’t take me seriously anymore. We used to have so much fun together but now all he wants to do is read or watch Highway to Heaven reruns. He never pays any attention to me anymore. I bought a new cassock the other day and he didn’t even notice it. I am so irritated with him. He is just lucky I am such a nice person or I would tell him to find his own glasses.” -Father Bruce
or
“I know I haven’t been posting much lately. I just can’t seem to find anything to write about. Dan Brown needs to write another book or something. I promise I will post as soon as something exciting happens.” – Father James
or
“I just learned that one of my congregants is suffering from mesothelioma. I suggested he call a good lawyer because he needs to be sure that his rights are protected. He wasn’t interested in hiring a lawyer since he only had a week or two to live. So instead I told him about this great new thing called Forex Trading. For some reason he got up and left without saying anything. Luckily, I have his email address.” – Father Paul
or
“Little Bobby has been helping me after mass lately. He is such a mature boy even though he is only 7. I gave him a little taste of the wine after the service today. He really seemed to like it. I told him not to tell his parents I gave him the wine. I told him that it is our little secret and that I only give wine to boys who don’t tell their parents. He agreed not to tell. Tomorrow I am going to see if he wants to watch some super secret movies with me.” -Father Tim
I already know that when the Rapture happens, I’m getting left behind.
Hey, Jen… I have a feeling we’re all being left behind at the Rapture! So, as long as we’re all going to the same place anyway, let’s get this party started!
OMG! Pure Brilliance. You should write a book of these. Maybe you could just start a blog for the priests and post for them. You seem to have full grasp of what they’re thinking! Thanks for the laugh.
I’m so glad I’ll have friends in hell. Can hardly wait to hear what the nuns have to say.
.-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld we "Don’t Look Good In Gray…" =-.
I went to Catholic School and I can honestly say that I knew a couple of those priests. Next please talk about some of the nuns too, (Sister Gerladine in particular).
.-= Linda Medrano´s last blog ..He Knew It Was Gonna Be A Bad Day! =-.
CatLady: I’ll bring the Tequila!
Shelly: Funny you should say that, I do a lot of ghost writing for blogs, I should send them my rates.
Jayne: I’m pretty sure most of us will be in hell. I’m looking forward to it myself.
Linda: Nuns were scary to me, priests not so much. I’m much more afraid of people who aren’t gettin’ any and we all know the priests get plenty. See, there I go again, securing my spot. Damn.
The last one is pretty spot on, lol
.-= Kristy´s last blog ..180 – Pssst… I’M BLOGGER OF THE YEAR!!! =-.
HAAAA pissing my pants, I am almost sure they had that Dateline sting show on how to catch a predator and one of the guys they caught was a Rabbi. No Priests that I saw. Of course, if they did I am sure the Vatican would just pay everyone off to keep it silent and move the priest to a new church, to continue going God’s work.
I think hell will be full of “religious” people.
I’ve got a reservation at a lovely fountain on the banks of the Lake of Fire. I’ll see if I can’t get reservations for you, too!
Love the post!
Kristy: Sadly, yes.
MOB: A Rabbi? Really? I thought they were smarter than that.
Jen: If the people who think they are going to heaven are there that sounds like hell to me.
MeDarkstar: Thank you, that would be really nice. It sounds lovely.
Pretty good, but watch out for lightning.
I’ve got one for you, this will be the anonymous blog post form a brilliant priest who headed one of the local churches – “Today sucked – I had such a hard time falling asleep last night. All I could think about was driving down to the local park for some restroom fellowship. Finally, it was time to go – my adrenaline was pumping – I cruise by slowly and check out the scene. I see a soul in need of saving and ask him to join me in fellowship. He smiles and jumps in the car – we talk, we kiss, we cuddle – zippers come down – A KNOCK ON THE WINDOW – Oh Shit! – Busted – Did they HAVE to tell all the local news channels? (At least they were over 18) Our priests are whores but at least they aint child molesters!
I’ll be there (in hell), just look for me, I’ll be wearing the t-shirt that says, “fuck you, you fucking fucker”. I have that t-shirt, I’m just to chicken shit to wear it here (on earth). lol
Definately need to put together a little book with these tidbits…..
“Chicken Soup for the Hellbound”
Dear Jen,
You forgot the blog entry from father Obie, where when he sits by himself in the dark, the right had of God is giving him delightful tremors and effusions.
Ha ha, great post! my first visit and what a place to Start!!!
Hell is for the happy people, except i do pray once in awhile,
peedee recommends you and that’s good enough for me.
Ann T.
Capt. Dumbass: Believe me, I do.
Sheila: I love it. I was afraid to go there but you did.
Peedee: I love the t-shirt. I’d be too chicken shit to wear it too unless I was in Wisconsin and then I wouldn’t give a shit. Your title for the book is priceless.
Ann: Welcome, Peedee rocks even if she is afraid to wear her “Fuck you, you fucking fuckers” t- shirt. I have nothing against praying, I do it myself from time to time. I have a problem with PEOPLE who are holier than thou and who think they know better than anyone how to interpret the Bible.
Ann: We’ll have to add the Father Obie story to the book.
But do you dare to go after the Jews?
OMFG Jen, I laughed so hard at this!!!!!!!!!!! But now I’m typing as fast as I can so that if “someone” should strike my computer for loving this post so much I won’t get sizzled to the keyboard.
Whew! Safe…for now
Maybe we should rent a whole bus for the trip down. We could sing songs…
.-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..Aerial View of Insanity =-.
Wicked funny Jen, I’m crying over here! Is this what happens when no one is around and you get bored? Were you inspired to write after going to church?
Straight to hell my child…you can recite Hail Marys from now til the cows come home and it ain’t gonna save your ass after this!
Katherine: No, I don’t dare go after the Jews. I have nothing but respect for them. I have yet to meet a Rabbi who didn’t have a wicked sense of humor.
Mrsblogalot: Yes, let’s rent a bus and sing songs, that sounds like fun.
Buggys: Actually I was looking on a news site for what was going on and saw that story. Immediately I knew what had to be done. This doesn’t happen often. This one however, being about blogging, pretty much wrote itself.
I’ve had a seat reserved in hell for me for a long long time. I’m prepared and I have lots of company.
This is so funny. Awesome.
Well, I am a good Catholic boy, so I am biased…but I will not be one of the ones going to hell. I concede there are bad priests and bad ‘catholics’ just like everywhere else in the world…bad cops, bad teachers, etc.
But I pray for all people, good and bad.
Peace be with you all!
.-= Joe Cap´s last blog ..…may cause the following Side Effects =-.
I always said that I wouldn’t be happy in heaven ’cause most folks I knew weren’t gonna be there anyway….heh heh
Hey, you changed things around…. lookin’ good!
.-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..I’ll Have What She’s Having…. =-.
Hell can’t be any worse than the last company I worked for, and Satan is probably pretty charming compared to said company’s management team.
.-= mike´s last blog ..15,944 Minutes And Counting… =-.
If priests’ blog that way I would want to read more! LOL 😀
I encounter quite a lot of those religious blogs too and like you, I leave as soon as I can cause I know I am already saved and don’t want somebody else wasting their save on me.. LOL 😀
.-= Ane´s last blog ..Music Monday: You Can’t Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones, Glee Style!** =-.
I must have religion radar. I haven’t been so unfortunate to run across any. I try to stay away from that subject, just gets me all riled up.
Although it would be a little interesting to see what kind of things a priest would say. Online confessions, probably not!
I have an award waiting for you over at my place.
.-= Heather´s last blog ..Award Time =-.
” Of course I leave as quickly as I can so no one tries to save me.”
that CRACKED me up!!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn! =-.
They all had a certain ring of truth to them; that last one, so much so it was a bit disturbing! Great job!
.-= PJ´s last blog ..A Memory For Monday =-.
WOW! This looks great, Jen. I love the flashing banner of your recent posts up top – nice touch!
.-= MadMadMargo´s last blog ..Me-Me’s Neighborhood No. 4 =-.
Ok… I am pretty sure you knew you were already going to hell…. did you have to speed it up. Hell, I might get struck by lightning by just reading your blog. Your lovely, funny, hell worthy blog. Two words. Loved it. Seriously, if the zombie baby jesus didn’t find this funny then he has no humor. Just saying.
.-= mepsipax´s last blog ..You guys scare me =-.
Ann: I’m glad you liked it
Joe: Being bad is not just for the Catholics and if the grand Poobah of teachers or police officers put out a statement telling them to blog I would have hit them up just as hard. If we had more good Catholics like you who pray for everyone, good and bad we wouldn’t have as many problems as we do. Keep up the good work.
Pricilla: I’ve got a seat saved for you, just bring some of that caramel sauce.
CatLady: I’m working on it, not sure if I like this but it’s getting there. Thanks.
Mike: I don’t think hell could compare to being stuck in a cube farm all day long. Satan isn’t that mean.
Ane: Me too, can’t wait to see what the nuns write about.
Heather: Thanks for the award, I assume that is for the attitude rather than the gratitude. I’m going to check out all of those links you listed especially the 80 year old woman who blogs. I bet she has a lot to say.
I try to stay away from the subject of religion, there is just no good outcome in a forum like this. I respect all religions no matter how silly they might be.
Meleah: When I was in college, a freshman before I knew any better, I would get stopped by people who wanted to save me. I thought that telling them I was an atheist would get them off my back so I could get to class on time. Nope, wrong answer. Telling them I had no faith was an invitation to be converted. Usually a very long conversation. I don’t pass those people anymore but if I were I would tell them I had been saved so they could move on to the next unsuspecting soul.
PJ: Yeah, it kinda was a buzz kill but it had to end up there.
Margo: Do you mean the slider? I’m still on the fence. We’ll see. It looks better than before however.
Mepsipax: I am sure that Jesus has a sense of humor. I’m not so sure about his dad however.
OMG! Thankfully I have NEVER been accosted by someone like that. At least if I ever am, now I know what to say to make them leave me alone!!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn! =-.
The Roman Catholic church isn’t exactly known for keeping up with the times.
How about this: instead of jumping on the computer bandwagon, the Church could legalize birth control or okay condoms in Africa.
.-= The Mother´s last blog ..Evolutionary Psychology is the Reason I Only Have Boys =-.
LOL! What a funny post. I can’t stop laughing..
Hi, i must say fantastic site you have, i stumbled across it in Google. Does you get much traffic?