GenX is tired. We’ve been on our own since we were 8 and we really want to retire, but y’all can’t seem to solve this problem so we’re going to get the job done, one more time.

Fixing this mess we’ve gotten ourselves into with Gentle Parenting and Trophies for Everyone isn’t going to be easy, but if everyone implements these steps we will be successful.

You’re welcome.

Again, this is not going to be easy – there will be a learning curve and some growing pains, but if everyone gets with the program it should be fairly swift.

How To Save America And The Rest of Western Civilization

Going forward we need to do several things, and some are multi part operations, as you’ll see.

  1. All kids by age 8 will either have their own paper route, or they will tag along with their friend who has a paper route.
    1. Newspapers shall report the facts again, without bias or agenda, so they can increase subscriptions to support the paper routes.
    2. Parents are not permitted to accompany children while delivering the paper.
  2. By age 12 children will be expected to offer their baby sitting services to neighbors or go door to door and ask if they can shovel snow, mow the lawn or rake the leaves of their neighbors. They will be expected to negotiate a fair wage.
    1. Adults will have cash on hand to pay the children when they have completed the job to the home owner’s satisfaction. Cash. No Venmo, or any other app that requires a smart phone.
    2. Parents are not permitted to negotiate wage, or provide assistance with the chore.
    3. Parents are encouraged to supply initial tools or machinery to the child, but charging a fee to use the equipment is acceptable and even encouraged.
  3. Children shall explore their neighborhoods again, unaccompanied by parents. Dumb phones are permitted, but not encouraged.
    1. It is perfectly acceptable for parents in the neighborhood to keep an eye on children through the window, but using apps, tags or other tracking devices are not allowed.
  4. Children shall figure out their issues with other children on their own while on the playground or in the park.
    1. Adults/parents shall only intervene if there is blood, knocked out teeth or other physical injury. Hurt feelings to not qualify for parental involvement.
  5. Teachers are not permitted to share any personal information with their students.
    1. Teachers will be addressed by children using the titles Mr., Mrs., or Ms. followed by their last name. It is also permissible for children to address them as Sir or Ma’am.
  6. Children may not possess or use smart phones and no access to the internet is allowed until they are of legal age.
    1. Encyclopedias, textbooks, classroom lectures and parents will be the preferred mode of source material.
      1. Libraries are also encouraged but only after we get the crack heads out of them.

Obviously we have a portion of a generation or two who missed all of these milestones and are lacking in skills because of that fact. They are not lost, they can be saved, but it will take some tough love – Scared Straight style.

Winter survival camp in the north woods of Minnesota should suffice. Millennials and GenZ will be assigned cabin roommates with those whose politics/identity they oppose or otherwise find offensive – same sex dorms of course. Campers will make their own meals, share stories with one another, and be expected to maintain the camp. No phones, no headphones, no fidget toys. Music and entertainment will come by way of guitar, a deck of cards and a 1000 piece puzzle of an American Eagle soaring over Lake Superior, with three pieces missing.

We must return to a high trust society, and while terrifying, it is not impossible. It just takes a little faith in our friends, family and neighbors and calling out the nonsense again.