People

Observations From A Garage Sale

June 14, 2010
Garage sale
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I had a garage sale this weekend, actually it started last Thursday and ran through yesterday. Well, sort of yesterday. By Sunday I had had it and opened my garage just long enough to move everything around so I could get my car back into the garage. Anyway, that is why I have been MIA for the last week. Sorry, I will be around more this week.

Garage sales are a shit load of work in case you have never had one.

My neighbor was the one who started the whole garage sale thing. Not the WHOLE garage sale thing but the garage sale thing in my neighborhood this past weekend. She convinced me and another neighbor that it would be a good thing if we had multiple garage sales. She was right but still, it wasn’t my idea.

The people who shop garage sales are freaks.

Not the ones who just happen on a garage sale and pick up an item or two, but the ones who knock on your door because they want to be the first one to pick through all your stuff that is basically junk.

The worst part about these people is that they want to bargain. I didn’t price anything over $1, I wanted to get rid of my crap and I didn’t want to negotiate. They did.

I had a pair of brand new leather Harley Davidson riding boots that cost me over $100, for sale for $1 and yet someone wanted to bargain them down to 50 cents! And they wanted to do this bargaining on the first day in the first five minutes.

I told them no thank you. I wanted that extra 50 cents dammit.

I had a woman show up in a Mercedes sporting diamonds and designer clothes looking for cheap furniture so she could stage her basement for the sale of her house. If I’d had anything that could have been used for the purpose I would have gladly bargained with her but I didn’t think she wanted an over sized chair that my son found on the boulevard that had been sitting in my garage for the last year.

She didn’t.

I told her to go to Ikea, which she did.

Most of the people who came to the garage sale were women, heavily tattooed women. All very nice but some were missing teeth.

I don’t understand the men in this world who wear dress shirts with sweat pants, and there are a lot of them, at least at garage sales. What’s wrong with throwing on a t-shirt? Why a dress shirt? Are they news anchors or something? I’m confused.

There are people in this world who think it is all about them. I can’t tell you how many people drove through the alley, parked their car in the middle of the alley and then left their car door open while they shopped. I was hoping one of the many many cars that wanted to get past them would take off their car door but in Minnesota we don’t roll that way. We wait patiently until the horribly selfish person, who is obviously not from Minnesota, finishes and leaves.

For the last four days I have done nothing but stand in my garage talking to strangers. I haven’t had time to write, I haven’t had time to read. I have mounds and mounds of laundry and the dishwasher has needed to be emptied for the last three days. I desperately need to go to the grocery store.

The garage sale was not a huge hit, it rained the whole time. People still came to it but I’m sure if it had been sunny I would have gotten rid of a lot more junk.

I’m off to the Goodwill today.

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