When I am not blogging or writing I am freelancing. I would much rather write all day but since these blogs of mine do not come close to paying the bills I am forced to actually work sometimes. I am using the term “freelance” broadly here.
What I mean by freelance is that I will do any job you want me to within reason. I will paint, I will clean out your fridge (better than I do my own), I will do data entry and I will research any topic you like. These last two are the ones I do most of. I will not watch your kids, I’m trying to lose mine, and I will not perform sexual favors for you ( a steak dinner and some wine is all I need for that). When I was hired for my most recent job it didn’t seem like such a strange thing.
A friend called a few weeks ago and asked me to help her take down a client’s Christmas trees. My friend said the client paid well and served lunch. I’m in!
A few days before the job I talked to my friend to get a little more information on the assignment. I needed to know how long she thought the job would take as I needed a sitter for the time I would be away.
My friend said it would take at least 8 hours. 8 hours! How on earth can it take 8 hours to take down a tree?
Christmas Tree Hoarding
Turns out this client had 14 Christmas trees decorated throughout her house. She (no man would ever decorate 14 trees) even had full size trees in the bathrooms. Apparently this woman started decorating for Christmas a good 6 weeks before the holy day. And apparently it was a lot of work for her so when the festivities were over she didn’t want to be bothered with taking all the shit down.
This pissed me off. I realize she is paying me and others to take these decorations down but who has that much extra time and money to put up that many trees? And why in God’s name would anyone want to?
I know a few people who go all out for the holidays by decorating. Hell, I even go all out. I have special place mats for Christmas and I pull out the crystal and good china to serve dinner on. Sometimes, if I am feeling really festive I will dig out some candles that we used in the pumpkins for the dinner table.
What this woman does is beyond obsessed, it’s crazy. Her kids are grown so no longer have to endure the holiday decorations but the husband is still there. If my mother, or father did up the house this way I would have run away from home.
It wasn’t just 14 trees it was Christmas plates and silver, linens and nick fucking knacks all over the place. Huge wooden cut outs that I think were supposed to look like the wooden hand painted ornaments we all made when we were kids. Books, magazines, all the pictures on the walls were replaced with Christmas themed pictures and paintings.
Everything needed to be taken down, packed up and then stored. After that the stuff that went in it’s place, winter theme for now, had to be unpacked and placed around the house. She does this for each season!
I found that I was resentful of this woman. I told my friend as much.
“Anyone who puts up this much crap ought to take it down herself.”
“She’s paying you to do this, you didn’t have to you know?” My friend said.
“I know she is paying me but it still pisses me off that there are starving children in Armenia and this person goes and spends all her time and money on all this crap.” I said.
I suppose I was upset about the whole thing because my Christmas sucked this year. I had my tree down on December 26th by 10 am. It took me, one person, an hour to make the house look as if it had never happened.
It took over 30 people 7 hours to take all her shit down.
Oh snap! WHY did your post piss me all the hell off? I am with you sistah! This is wrong on so many levels. I’m surprised at my reaction and I didn’t even have to take them down. It’s all this out of balance thing we have in the world. There’s the “have nots”, the “haves” and the ones who clean up the messes (which are the have nots). I had a Charlie Brown tree that could almost be put back in the basement without removing the ornaments! And I forgot to put out my fancy Christmas paper plates that I got at Target!!
You know what I’m mad at this chick and I didn’t even sign up to take down the xmas crap. She’s got a problem and you know what you shoul dhave left a stupid plate or silver ball thinger up in one of those bathrooms just to tick her off. Of course this might be burning a bridge and you never know what she has in store for Valentine’s Day!
More money than sense!
On the bright side she was providing 30 people with some extra cash.
I’m certainly not mad at this lady – in fact, I feel sorry for her. For the record:
1) I don’t care where you comment – just comment.
2) We Canucks do indeed call football well, umm – football. It is those dman Brits you need to talk to!
CHEERS!
You should have brought me. I would have eaten some of them and then there would have been less to pack up next year. Burp!
Wow…I’m in with Chaotically Calm, I don’t even want to know what her house looks like at Valentines Day…or hell, what about 4th of July?? Easter??? Gaw…
yeah… people with more money than sense annoy the hell outta me too! But their arrogance made ya some dough.. and that’s what makes the messed up world go round!
I wish you would not write so harshly about my mother.
Okay I was like that is weird and wasteful, but then you really got me with over 30 people. Really that many, I can’t even fit that many in my apartment.
I wish you could have taken pictures because I can’t even imagine it in my head.
Holy Mother of God that’s a lot of Christmas shit. I think Jesus himself would have a heart attack at that sight.
There is no need for that kind of extravagance. None. ZERO. It’s just unnecessary. Why do you need a Christmas tree in the bathroom?
Wow! I’ve never heard of anybody having that much trees in their house.. It is really a waste of money..
I no long carry the honorary title of “Christmas Bitch.” I pass the torch to you. 🙂
Oh–and just in case–I do mean that as a compliment! You never know who might take being called a bitch offensively. Personally, I embrace it.
She gets off on the fact that people stand there saying “wow! You put up all this shit?!” and then she’s all cocky-like when she tells them that she PAYS someone to take it down. It’s an ego thing, believe me. And a control issue. I’ll bet her house looked ugly with all that junk around. Ick. I would have been crabby too.
You have got to be kidding me! That is insanity…and I think you entered it when you walked into that house! Money is money I guess. I am glad you got paid, but why in the hell doesn’t she do something, like donate 13 trees to families that can’t even afford to have them?? People are crazy.
Dana, I didn’t mean to piss you off too, I hope you have calmed down some.
Chaotically Calm, Something like that would have been like me but my friend has been doing this job for years and I don’t want to hurt her chances of doing it again. I will tell you there was much breakage, there would be with 30 people messing with things. Which is part of what is crazy about this. All the crap…ok, it’s weird. But I would never want 30 people going through my stuff. Ever.
Lizzie, They appeared to have quite a lot of money, little sense. I think they call that eccentric.
Jude, you are right and it wasn’t a bad gig to get all and all. I didn’t know 28 of the people but most appeared to have done it before. Some of them got on my nerves a bit.
Canucklehead, I’m glad you call it football and not soccer, that is just messed up. Now if the rest of the world would call soccer soccer we might actually get behind it.
Pricilla, I think if you had been there she might have kept you for the manger scene that is displayed in the yard by their pond. It might have been nice for a while but you would have missed your goaty friends and it’s really cold here in the winter.
Angi, I am very curious to know what it will look like for these other holidays. We were instructed to leave all decorations with snowmen out because that was “winter”. It was difficult to distinguish between Christmas and winter but I think we did okay. Since she started 6 weeks before Christmas I suspect that there is no Thanksgiving set up.
dzzblnd, it certainly does. and I wish I had a fraction of what she has.
Paul, I’m sorry. You need to do something about her.
Kreations, their house was on an 8 acre lot. It had 4 stories. Laid out really funny and in need of some redecorating but not a bad house. A little too suburban for my tastes but to each his or her own. Surprisingly the stuff in the house was not all that nice. Not bad but sort of Targety considering the wealth I would have expected some nicer pieces. I have nicer furniture than they did but then my dad was gay and loved antiques.
Kim, I don’t have a clue why one needs a tree in the bathroom. I’d have put one of those towel warmers in the bathroom if it was up to me. Maybe a TV and a bar too.
Cashmere, the trees were artificial. They all had to be wrapped individually and stored in the attic. I don’t think they could have stayed up for two months if they were real unless they were potted which hopefully she won’t do.
Eli, Thank you I will wear it with pride. No offense taken at all.
Lin, I think you might be right. While we were having lunch she pulled out a wedding pages and showed everyone her son’s or daughter’s wedding. She was credited with the floral arrangement. She then went on to say that a woman she knew was getting married and she was planning on offering her services for the flowers. She stated she would be giving then that as a gift and would be surprised if they didn’t accept it since flowers for large weddings were so expensive.
Heidi, I don’t know if she doesn’t donate or give to charity. I suspect she probably does as much as she is allowed to. I also have to say that she was a nice enough lady, especially for having 30 people pawing through her things. She made fun of herself numerous times and seems to recognize that she has a problem.
Dear God. I mean, it’s okay to love Christmas, but it’s not okay to looooove Christmas. That’s just nutty.
That kind of decorating is just insane! That lady has to have more money than sense! I freelance too and work up at a local cafe when I get called in. Money is money, but we are allowed to get pissy about what we do to earn it 🙂 And for the record, my tree is still up – I haven’t had the time nor ambition to take it down. Want to come over and take care of mine too?
Unless this woman is the first lady and is obligated to put on a big show, she needs to be committed.
This is a crazy old woman from my home town with no family and lots of oil money who does this very thing. It is crazy.
You are a whore indeed! You had me laughing out loud with your misery. Remember the key word here is that I was laughing WITH you.
14 Christmas Trees? Just how much is her electric bill? Don’t be so irritated ladies. She probably has a lot of time on her hands she can afford to spend them putting up all those trees and decorating them. At least that’s one “erection” can manages to enjoy. 🙂
If she was having sex, it would have been 4 trees at the most. … and perhaps only 2 would be decorated.