I hate going to the grocery store.

There are three grocery stores in my neighborhood. There is the fancy dancy, hip, carpeted grocery store where the parking lot is filled with Mercedi and Lexi, the food is overpriced and the people who shop there like everyone else to think they have a lot of money because they are happy to spend four times what everyone else spends on a can of tuna.

There is also the old fashioned neighborhood grocery store. Here too the food is over priced and it is usually two weeks past the expiration date. Most of the produce is rotten and I’m afraid of the meat. There is little variety and the store looks like it hasn’t been remodeled since the 50’s because it hasn’t. Most of the people who work there have been around that long as well.

Then there is the big box discount grocery store. This store is located in the seedier part of town and is on the bus line. It has plenty of variety, the produce is actually pretty fresh and the items in the store are usually discounted nicely. They don’t bag your groceries for you and go to great lengths to smush them as they scan them and send them down the conveyor belt. They usually send the eggs and bread down first so that the heavier items like pop or milk can squish them to smithereens. If I worked there for minimum wage I’d probably do the same thing. Most of the customers do not speak English as a first language and it is not likely that they are yet citizens. If you park your car in their lot you risk getting your car broken into and robbed, that someone may decided to take your car for a joyride and only return it after they have removed your tires, and you may find that some of the locals think your vehicle is a better place to take a nap than their cardboard box.

No matter which store I go to there are always too many people in these stores. It seems to me that the rules of the road apply to the aisles of a grocery store as well. Slower traffic needs to keep to the right and you can only pass on the left if there is no oncoming traffic. Some people who shop in these store don’t drive however and do not know that they are not supposed to stop in the middle of aisle so they can compare different brands of soy milk. Horns should be standard on shopping carts.

Because I don’t enjoy shopping at any of these grocery stores I have decided that I will try to get what I need online. I spend most of my day online looking at hundreds of websites each day and most of these sites are actually selling things that I need. Obviously I can’t buy milk or bread online and have it right away but I can get those things at the SA or Kwik-E-Mart.

Last week my son announced that we were out of soap. He was out of soap, I had plenty. So instead of running out to the store I remembered that Pricilla, from the Maaaaa of Pricilla makes soap. She doesn’t make it but her publicist does with milk from Pricilla. So I went to their website Happy Goat Soap and bought two bars of soap. I purchased the rooster soap scented with spring bouquet and the penguin soap scented with lavender. I checked out and didn’t think much of it until Saturday when the soap arrived.

Maybe my life needs a good kick in the butt to be a bit more exciting but I was stoked when the mailman brought my box with the picture of Pricilla on it. Remember the movie The Jerk? Remember when Steve Martin ran outside when the phone books were being delivered? Remember how excited he was to finally be someone since he was listed in the phone book? That’s pretty much what my reaction was to getting my soap.

I tore open the box and found not two but three bars of soap. Pricilla had included a sample of the citrus soap. Both my kids gathered around as we all opened each bar of soap to smell them. And they smell wonderful. Not too perfumy but soft and mild. My son grabbed the citrus soap and left to take a shower. I had no chance of getting it back. Since I had been outside picking up dog poop I needed to use the soap. Even though each was pretty to look at I knew that there was only one purpose to these items. I am not the kind of person that puts fancy soap in the bathroom and then never allows anyone to actually use it.

This soap is fantastic. I had not only cleaned up dog poop but I had spent the better part of the morning cleaning the bathrooms with Ajax. I don’t do rubber gloves. My hands were dry and chapped. I used Pricilla’s soap just once and they were incredibly smooth. Did I mention how well the soap lathers? It does in a big way. Not the wimpy lather of a regular bar of Dove or Irish Spring but real honest to goodness lather that is rich and moist.

I love this soap. I do. So much that I have already ordered more.

*this is not a paid advertisement.

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