I went to Ikea this weekend. I’m looking for a pull out couch or futon for my office upstairs. I need something small since the doorways are really tiny in my house.
I’ve been to Ikea twice before this excursion. Once when I lived in Seattle and once when they opened one here across from the Mall of America.
Both times I went just to see what all the excitement was about. I went as a tourist rather than a customer. Which is what they want. I know Ikea has some great prices on crappy merchandise but it reminded me of going to the State Fair. It smelled a little better and the people were dressed much nicer but all in all I felt like cattle being herded around.
I also made the mistake of going by myself. An afternoon at Ikea is a social event and I felt very out of place all by my lonesome. I should have grabbed a child but that would have been an even worse experience. I didn’t dress up for the event either. I had showered and I was wearing clean clothing but I wasn’t dressed to get a date which a lot of the young women there were. There was one woman dressed in a knit white dress, black tights and at least four inch heels pushing her cart around Ikea. She was spritzed with perfume and every hair was plastered in place. She looked like she was going to a club not a furniture store. I was confused and again felt out of place in my jeans and boots.
There were far too many screaming babies to make the trip enjoyable. I was so busy saying “excuse me” that I really couldn’t concentrate on my task of finding a suitable couch. Teens were sitting on every piece of furniture, busy texting away, that I didn’t want to ask them to get up off their lazy asses so I could see if the couch would work for me.
I left in frustration. I will not voluntarily go back to Ikea. I might go online and shop at Ikea but I will not go into their “store” again unless I am on a date, have had a few cocktails and am dressed for the occasion.
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I have always wanted to go to an Ikea, but I don’t think I have ever been near one to check out the phenomena. My cousin in currently living in Germany and loves the place though! LOL
Well since we have the MOA they figured it was a good place to plop an Ikea down. I would rather have the old Met, which they tore down for the Mall of America, where I saw not only Def Leppard four times but Queen twice, Joan Jett once, Billy Squire twice and numerous Kicks Soccer games. I’ve puked in that parking lot more than I care to remember.
You nailed it. IKEA is stressful and crowded. I made the mistake of going there on a weekend with my toddler–I still shudder at the memories.
I always feel like a mouse in one of those mazes looking for the cheese (or the exit) when I venture into an Ikea. Good thing they have those cinnamon rolls on the way out–I’m usually starving by the time I find the exit!
LOL about the puking!!
I’m with ya – IKEA is of the devil.
Frogs, I love your blog! I can’t imagine going with a toddler. There was one child aimlessly walking around just waiting to get snatched. There was another one playing with the many many big screen tvs and just about knocked it over. I broke a glass in Pier1 when I was a child. I was afraid to go back to that store for years and even if I wasn’t afraid my parents wouldn’t take me for ages.
Emily, that is just what it is like. A mouse in a maze. At least they paint the floor with arrows pointing us in the direction we are supposed to follow. I haven’t bought food there and I don’t think I will. It seems strange to want people to eat in a store. Maybe I’m just old school.
Stephanie, not my best days but lots and lots of fun out there. Some of my best teen memories of of the Ikea/MOA parking lot. Sad, I know.
My girlfriend dreams of getting this convertible daybed for our small guest room: Hemnes. I gotta admit, it’s pretty damn nifty.
LOL @ women trolling through Ikea all dolled up to attract some guy.
Who knew? 😉
hawaiianpun, I saw one of those while I was there. Maybe because it was a demo but it looked pretty crappy on the floor. It didn’t help that there were little hand prints all over it that smelled faintly of cinnamon.
Fitness Diva, I’ve seen these kinds of women at Target too. They are at Wal*Mart as well but they dress a little differently, they wear the good pair of overalls, the flip flops with sparkles on them and they brush their tooth for the outing.
Wow, that doesn’t sound like the IKEA here…well, it sort of does, but not the part about the stoooopid teens sitting on couches texting, as if they were in their own homes. I would’ve pretended I was their mom and screamed at them to get up off their arses and go clean their rooms.
Mary, that sounds like fun. I might actually have to go back there just to do that.
I have never been although there is one up near the Frisco/Plano area here in Texas. I have heard stories similar to yours and I truly want to run away screaming from that place. Another place with a similar clientele is called The Dump. I think it is a step down from IKEA.
I liked the comment about the lady dressed for clubbing. We ran into that at Disneyworld. She was dressed to the nines pushing her kiddos, with Grandma and Grandpa in tow. Hum….
No kidding! We just went to Ikea this past weekend too (we live in Michigan). And let me tell ya… Ikea + 3 children = insanity. It was absolutely insane. The aisles were so small, I felt like I was in everybody’s way.
Great blog!
“Dressed for the occasion” at IKEA means a track suit, athletic shoes and a camel-back water bottle.
And you should probably take survival rations. They make it impossible to get out, on purpose.
I’ve never been to an IKEA, but your description of it sounds exactly the way I pictured it.
Reforming Geek, I was probably one of those girls back in my twenties when I had a tighter ass. Thankfully I’ve grown out it. I never, ever wore high heels to the grocery store, Target or any other place where one purchase food that doesn’t come with liquor.
Kellie, that is insane. Were you smoking crack when you decided it was a good idea?
The Mother, I think that is why they have a restaurant there so that you can fuel up and then shop some more. And remember you have to not only haul all that crap home but you have to assemble it when you get there. I like shopping online more and more everyday.
Shawn, as an Ikea virgin I suggest you remain chaste for as long as you can. Once you give it up you can never get it back.
I went to Ikea a few years ago, and all I remember is drinking some stuff called lingonberry.
I liked it, the lingonberry juice drink, not Ikea.
Ikea is a form of marketing torture. It is an insane asylum for retail addicts. I won’t go there again unless I’m half in the tank.
If you don’t care to visit the store, why not shop Ikea online. If you find what you like I think you can have them bring it to the pick up area for you.
I don’t think I’m allowed in Ikea anymore. Nor am I allowed in The Furniture Box.
The last time I was in Ikea was when we first moved here over 3 years ago. I went to buy a bed for my son who was 10 at the time, and a bit stocky. What did I buy? That really cool metal bunk bed that you can put a desk under. Yup, it stayed in my garage 2 years, until my son had his growth spurt and I realized that bed is not gonna work. (He’s almost 6 ft tall and weighs about 250.) I paid $180 for it, sold it for $100. What a bargain. I have a wonderfully awesome computer armoire that’s been sitting in my garage for at least 2 years. It’s great, the picture looks good on the box, is the perfect piece of furniture to tastefully hide my desktop and the style matches my bedroom set. Why is it still in the garage? It is in 2 boxes that way about 2 tons each and I can’t get anyone to get it into my house and up to the 2nd floor. But it looks good…on the box.
Da Old Man, I’ve heard of that fancy schmancy Ligonberry drink. If I ever go there again I’ll have to try it.
Chris, Cocktails are a necessity to do Ikea.
Lola, can’t that 250lb boy get the damn thing in the house? He must have some big friends?
Hey Jen….Yikes…that sounds a bit like my dress for a wedding shopping nightmare.
There are only dresses for teenagers or great-grandmothers and even they would shun the styles I think.
Who ever knew Ikea stores were meat markets….lol.
Good luck with your shopping and next time just bring a teddy bear and act like it is the in-thing to do!
Thank you for your very kind words and I will keep in touch.
No more e-card time pressure….:)
Have a very good day!
~D~
Dorothy, as I said I will continue to stop by. I did follow you. I like the teddy bear idea. Maybe it will start a new fashion fad?
I remember wedding dress shopping. Both times. Another good reason to not get married again.
We have one of those monstrosities near our house.
I went there once and vowed never to return….
I hate everything about it, from the crappy merchandise to the pretentious customers… I have an anxiety attack just thinking about that hellhole.
Never been to IKEA .. but then again I am NOT a shopper!
The Mall of America is a mad house, but a good people watching excursion. They also have great mini golf.
Anyhoo …. hello from SpeedyCat! You have a lot of blogs. So do I – ha haaaaaaaa
One would think he would have some big friends, but his friends have to be the smallest kids in his class. He is like a giant compared to them. His best friend is about the size of an average 8 year old.
I went to the dreaded store in New Jersey and was blown over, I was about as fat as you could get and couldn’t get through many aisles, to me its a messy store, now that I have lost all my weight I could just breeze through but have no desire to go back
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I went into labor in Ikea. Didn’t know it until a few hours later, but I’m pretty sure Ikea is why my daughter came 3 weeks early.
Just don’t ever try to run into Ikea for an item. You get stuck in the maze. I know.
Don’t you kind of feel like your are being herded like cattle?….kind of my feeling…the food is pretty good though…lol…and I wanted to say thank you so much for all your kind words….they really have meant a lot…..