My daughter got a Wii for Christmas. Actually she got two Wiis. One at home and one at her dad’s. This means she can be practicing these games all the time which means if I want to compete with her I have to practice all the time.
And I don’t have time for that.
Last night we played Mario Kart for hours, both of us coming in at the bottom of the pack at 11th and 12th place respectively (that would be me in 12th place). Then a funny thing happened, she figured out the game and started coming in 3rd place, then 2nd and finally 1st place. Over and over again while I remained in last place*.
I know what you are wondering how can I lose so horribly and come in 12th place on a game with only two players? You see, when you play Wii games you aren’t just playing the other people in the room you also play the computer which obviously means there is no chance in hell I will ever get out of 12th place without the computer taking pity on my sorry ass.
I used to be good at these games. There was a time when I played Mario and Zelda on a pretty regular basis. Of course I was pregnant and on bed rest with the boy (who is now in college studying how to be a computer engineer so you can’t play video games too much). I used to be able to beat my young children at these games, handily.
Now they smoke me and with no regret. All those years of purposely losing at Shoots and Ladders was for nothing. I managed to raise two cut throat video game players and have no one to blame but myself.
* my daughter got the steering wheel while I had to play with a sideways turned Wii remote. I would have totally beat her sorry butt if I had the steering wheel.
You know what you need to do, right? You need to stay up late, while she’s sleeping, to hone your skills to razor-sharp precision. You must win at any cost.