Please help me get through this holiday season without losing it. And by ‘losing it’ I mean abandoning my vehicle on I-94 in the middle of rush hour traffic and yelling at anyone who will listen as I scream “the holidays suck”.
I’m trying to be positive about the holiday season but they started earlier this year and already I am wiped out from pretending that I wish it would all just go away.
Please help me to not smack the next happy couple I see shopping at the mall. You know the ones, they are young, have no children with them and are holding hands. I suspect they have just met. They also tend to stop in the middle of the mall, disrupting traffic, and either take a picture or kiss. These people are morons, they are way too happy and please don’t let them procreate. Wait, strike that, let them have kids and then they can join the rest of us in hell.
I want to thank you for teaching me humility, I think I got it now. I’ve been trying to dig out of the financial disaster that was my first marriage for 18 years now and every time I get close to crawling out of the hole you knock me back down. Thank you, I would hate to think what I would be like if I actually had some success that lasted more than a week. Having the underwire on my last comfortable bra break was a nice touch.
Please make sure there is enough chocolate. I’m having a hard time emotionally since I quit the Zoloft (thanks for those extra 20lbs-more humility!) and so far there is no law that says I can’t drive and eat chocolate at the same time.
Thank you for wine. Thank you even more for 3 Buck Chuck. Once you get used to it it’s not so bad.
I know that it’s not about wanting more but about wanting what I have. I get that. I just really never thought that keeping my phone on and paying for the internet fell under ‘wanting more’. I don’t want for much but I would really love to have 48 hours of feeling good. Not great, but good. I’d love to have 48 hours where I didn’t feel like shit because I can’t take my kid to see the new Muppet movie and get popcorn, where I could go to sleep and not worry about if I will have enough to buy the needed groceries for the week. I’d like to have two days where I felt safe and secure. That feeling I had once or twice when I was married. You know, that feeling you get when someone puts their arms around you and tells you everything will be okay? That feeling you automatically get when someone has your back, when you know you aren’t alone. I’d like to feel that again for a little while, I remember it was pretty awesome.
Please help me from telling the bill collectors to go fuck themselves. I know it isn’t their fault, it’s mine that they are calling, and they are just doing their job. I appreciate that and do apologize after my outbursts. Let them know that I tell them to fuck off because it is the only way I can stop myself from crying while on the phone with them and I am too polite to hang up on them. I don’t mean to be mean but having them threaten me and say I am a bad person isn’t going to make me shit money out of my ass. If I had it I would pay it. You could get the word out there about my business. Sending me more clients would really help.
Please help me control myself when I see those Christmas commercials for jewelry stores. I’m waiting for the lawsuit that claims the defendant robbed the bank, torched the store or did some other horrible act because she had seen these stupid commercials one too many times. Talk about false advertising, there are no men like the ones in the jewelry commercial, at least not any that are interested in women.
Same goes for the car commercials. Before I die I want to meet someone who gave a car to someone else as a gift. Any car, even a Yugo. It doesn’t happen!
Help me from ruining this holiday season for my daughter. She knows I don’t like the holidays and has been asking why. I’m having a hard time coming up with an answer that doesn’t ruin the holiday for her. She doesn’t need to know that I have sold my jewelry for her brother’s and her gift this year. She doesn’t have to know that because her dad didn’t pay support again I got slammed with overdrafts and other fees which will take presents out from under the tree as well as food off the table. She doesn’t have to know that I don’t trust people anymore and have become so cynical it even scares me. She shouldn’t have to worry about getting the Hello Kitty doll she wants. She isn’t asking for much, I should be able to handle that. At the very least please have her stop asking me why Christmas makes me sad.
I know you can’t show me the true meaning of Christmas, I know there isn’t going to be any “It’s a Wonderful Life” dream sequences and there won’t be any ghosts walking around rattling chains. It isn’t that my heart is too small it’s that my bank account is. Tell me what I need to do and I will do it. I don’t think I can work much longer or harder than I already am but I can certainly work smarter and would be happy to listen to any guidance you have.
Thanks for listening,
Wow, I know so many mother’s who’d love this. Ya know, the odd thing about this, is that I’m one of the offenders on your list. I’m one of those happy couples. I hold hands and randomly kiss. BUT, as not to piss you off, you’ll be happy to know that I hate the mall, so we’re never there. (We may still have kids though) 🙂 By the way, I’m a fellow ranter. please give me a read if you don’t mind. http://professor-rantmaster.blogspot.com/
I know you aren’t doing it to piss me off. That’s the problem with people who are in love, they don’t know how annoying they are. Kids will change that totally.
I will check out your site, thanks for the invite.
Oy vey, I’m sorry to hear how much this sucks, Jen.
On a totally unrelated note, I’m going to add this to my
meet someone who gave a car to someone else as a gift.
The first thing I’m asking is where he or she bought that humongous bow.
I think I might have to ask that question to Facebook and Twitter
Oh honey. I feel ya. And I’m sorry. The holidays do suck. I have NO IDEA how I am going to get through this season either. Maybe I’ll just sleep until February.
I think about you every day. It’s been a rough year. Know I am thinking about you.
It’s a mistake to compare yourself with other people, ‘there will always be people greater and lesser than yourself’. For every person who gets a car for Christmas there is one who had to bury their child or spouse or both (car accidents, house fires) in the last few weeks.
In a far more trivial loss our entire first floor and all its contents was lost to flooding after Irene in late August. We’re still not back in yet, they just finished drywalling TODAY, December 4th. But my wife and child are safe, even the dog got out in time. I have no complaints. I just work my regular job in the city and then come back at night to play contractor every night, for 3+ months now. It’s starting to shape up, beginning to resemble a home. Many lost more than we did. I have no complaints. My family is safe and healthy.
Perspective, I find, is everything.
You know God, this is why I struggle so much with you. I know there will always be people who have it worse off than me, I get perspective. But, I have buried a child and my basement floods every year. I play contractor as much as I can but I don’t know what I am doing and can’t afford a real one. I just work around it. And I am tired of working around things.
If I can’t have my 48 hours of peace, and I can’t have a car at least I would like to be able to have my moment on my blog where I can vent and complain without added guilt by you because I didn’t mention the kids with flies on their faces. I see those kids every time I feel sorry for myself.
You are not alone. Just know that.
Thank you, that’s what I like to hear. It’s not so bad being in this mess if there are others with me. It really does go a long way. Merry Christmas
I feel ya. I haven’t gotten child support since May. I’m not sure I’m going to be able to pull off Christmas either. If my mood isn’t sad, it’s fowl. Anyway, just remember, God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Every time I’ve thought things couldn’t get any worse, I’d find a way out. I always have. You know what I’ve been through. Every time I found a way out. God will provide. He always has.
I’m not talking to God right now. I’ve had it with his BS and dangling carrots and all that crap. He can stuff it as far as I am concerned.
I have never liked the holidays, ever since I can remember they were always a time of stress and worry for my family. I’m done shopping (thank you rewards points, if not for you Christmas would have to wait until next year). I’m not getting a tree, I can’t justify spending money on something that I just have to throw away.
I have to get a tree. I know it’s a huge waste of money, and I hate decorating and undecorating it but I don’t think I could make it through the holiday if I had to tell my kid we weren’t getting a tree. That would be the proverbial nail in the coffin.
We’re going to get one this weekend, it’s important for Haley, and we’ve been taking her to the tree farm every year, since she was almost one, she’ll be four on thr 27th, its our little family tradition now, maybe that will get me in the spirit.
I could try and stroke your ego with words, but the fact is you have put into words what so many feel day in and day out. But you do it in such a way that it is a delight to read. You do not come across ranting and raving blog’s name not withstanding. I commend you for being the person you are, and possessing the strength to carry on as the strong woman you are.
I’m all for stroking egos, mine especially. You did good. Thank you.
My heart is breaking… Your daughter is definitely getting that doll. I love you, kiddo.
Oh Jen, I could have written this. I have been offline for quite a while.. not a single moment for blogging except a quick post or two to keep it going. I found myself with a quick moment and came over to see what you are up to. First of all, your blog looks AMAZING… LOVE the design!!!! And this post choked me up because I GET IT. I OH SO GET IT. I hate Christmas. There. I said it. I would love it if money wasn’t a struggle. If the bill collectors weren’t calling MY house. I oh so get this!
At least you’ve got your kids. So there’s something.