Over the past several years I’ve been writing this funny little blog I’ve talked a few times about what not to get someone for various holidays. I’ve talked about the worst gifts you could give (because I’ve received them) but I’ve never written a post about the best Valentine’s Day gifts to give before. I’ve written about the worst Mother’s Day gifts, the worst Christmas present ever and the worst Valentine’s Day gifts. In most of those posts I caution anyone who is looking to give a heartfelt gift to steer clear of appliances, especially those that assist with household chores.
Today, I take that all back.
If you’re looking to give the perfect gift to your aunt, your wife, you mother, your daughter, your father your brother, your boyfriend or girlfriend – whoever you want to present with a gift, then consider getting them a Dyson.
Yes, I’m suggesting buying your loved one, your Valentine, a vacuum.
When I wrote those other posts I had never used a Dyson. Now, after all these years, I have.
The Dyson is such a superior product I don’t even know how to articulate it.
I’ve had so many crappy vacuums over the years (they’re all crappy compared to the Dyson) and I’ve had some pretty decent ones (Oreck). None of them even come close to the Dyson.
I have two dogs, two cats, two children and two parakeets. My house smells like dog butt and there is hair EVERYWHERE.
Last week I got a Dyson from QVC (easy pay rules!). This thing is so amazingly wonderful I feel like Monica about taking care of my vacuum.
(OMG that looks like an old Dyson!!)
Now that I have vacuumed my house with a Dyson, my house no longer smells like dog butt, I don’t have cobwebs, I don’t have dust bunnies, I don’t have cat hair everywhere.
This superior vacuum makes me want to make my house worthy of its service. I am compelled to paint the walls, fix the stairs, and upgrade the electric service now that I have this wonderful machine.
Why didn’t anyone every tell me how wonderful this machine was?
Get your loved one a Dyson for their birthday, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Hanukah, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Get them this wonderful appliance and turn their life around!
Get them chocolate and wine too, just in case.