Yesterday Apple introduced the worlds first ever electronic and digital maxi pad. The world had been waiting in great anticipation to see what Apple would unveil. There had been talk of a tablet, a new iPhone and all kinds of other products that no one really needs but must have. With much fanfare Apple, always one step ahead of the competition, surprised everyone when it demonstrated the new iPad.
The new, and improved, iPad uses the same touch screen technology that the iPhone and iTouch use except it is larger and more absorbent. With one swipe of the finger you can now dial down your cramps from debilitating to mildly annoying. Because the iPad runs on AT&Ts 3G network it can be synced with Outlook and other scheduling programs so that periods can be easily scheduled. College girls will no longer have to wait months to synch their periods, just a few quick taps on the screen and everyone can be on the same schedule. One can download apps from both Dominoes and 7-11 so that chocolate and pizza runs are never disappointing.
“There is nothing worse than running to 7-11 at 2am only to find they are all out of peanut M&Ms” said Sarah Field, “With the new iPad I can check the inventory of the closest convenience store to make sure they have all the M&Ms, rocky road and Doritos that I need. I no longer have to go to three different stores in my pajamas.”
Apple is hoping to have an upgrade soon which would allow the users to broadcast their menses so male co-workers and boyfriends know the best time to schedule that meeting, ask if they can go on that fishing trip and possibly get birthday sex.
Funny, last night my final tweet was, “I SO want an Ipad. But in reality, I know that the best I will end up with is a sanitary pad.”
So if I was thinking about that last night and you were too, I assume thousands of women all over the world are also equating the ipad with their periods.
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..My Mom Is SO Going To Kill Me! =-.
Ha! I just read this and twittered a simlar comment.
Makes you wonder what kind of feminine apps will be available, eh?
HAHA that’s the first thing I thought of when I heard the name of it as well! Brilliant FAIL!
.-= Ian´s last blog ..Interview With a Blogger II – Meet Kristy =-.
Yeah, the media is all over it. Check out this one:
.-= The Mother´s last blog ..You Can Take the Girl out of the City =-.
Jen, I am so thrilled to learn that Apple has come out with this product. Now tell me there is something in it for menopausal and post menopausal women. Maybe a squirt of estrogen can be downloaded?
.-= Linda Medrano´s last blog ..God’s Blanket =-.
Katherine: You are safe in your assumption. Why couldn’t they have named it iTab?
Ian: It’s a brilliant and funny fail but still it’s a really cool product.
Mother: I hadn’t seen that before, really funny and isn’t someone paid to check to see if things like that are out there? Someone’s head is going to roll for missing that.
Linda: I’m not thinking about that stuff yet. I have a few more years. Maybe a built in fan? (Sorry, I just don’t know what to expect when that time comes and I am not looking forward to it.)
Quirky: Sorry I missed you. I don’t know but the market is wide open. I have an app on my iPhone for keeping a record of my moods during the month. Problem is when my mood is fine I don’t bother to log anything and when my mood is crappy and PMSy I can’t be bothered to figure out the damn app.
The name!! Wow what were they thinking?? I think that we can safely assume that no women were involved in the naming of this product!
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Disneyland =-.
Jen, ignore the horror stories – re menopause. It’s just a change. No more baby making days, no more periods. Not a biggie! Just more “girl shit”.
.-= Linda Medrano´s last blog ..God’s Blanket =-.
Stephanie: According to Steve Jobs they went with the name because of the “P”. It matches iPhone and iPod. Of course they could have named it iPaper or something but that doesn’t sound as hip.
Linda: I already have that it’s called birth control. The hot flashes scare me.
Since I am a technologically unaware goat I did not hear of this new product. Still not completely sure of what the ITouch is and have commented that it sounds a little erm, kinky.
IPad doesn’t help the line much if you ask me.
.-= Pricilla´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – What’s That, Matthew? =-.
OK Jen, I had to post one more time to give you my reaction about your fan idea:
I love alll things ‘Apple Products’, but THIS? Is killing me!! This is sofa king funny, I have tears running down my face from laughing SO hard!
.-= meleah rebeccah´s last blog ..Everyone Needs A Little Evelyn! =-.
Oh sure, now Apple comes through for us! Where were they 5 years ago when I could have used this? And what about us menopausals chicks? Apple, you are walking a dangerous line by ignoring us! Some of us can be a tad touchy.
.-= Buggys´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – Dressing Up! =-.
I didn’t think you’d be able to top the Priest blogging…but you did! I’d so buy that if I needed it.
.-= Shelly´s last blog ..Gumdale Shiraz ~ Review =-.
Pricilla: The iTouch is simply an iPod that uses the touch screen technology. It looks and acts just like an iPhone but you can’t make calls on it, unless you are my son and you know how to do that kind of thing. If anyone wants to know how to make an iTouch into an iPhone send me an email and I’ll send you directions.
Katherine: It’s time to get a new washer. The fan thing was lame, you really need to get out more often;)
Meleah: We used to have a furniture store called Sofa King so your comment really threw me for a few minutes. The ads were funny, cheesy but funny. But that wasn’t what you meant now was it? Now I get it. Thanks.
Buggys: Tad Touchy…pun or no pun? The next thing they will come up with will be the iPoop. I know of many teenage boys who will bug their parents crazy to buy it. I’d like an iBoob, one that lifts and separates wirelessly.
Shelly: All joking aside I’d love to have an iPad. Right now I use my iPhone all the time for surfing the web and checking email. I don’t have a reader yet, thinking about a Kindle for years, but will wait until the price of these maxipads come down. I love the technology. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do all those things with it? I think men would love it as much as we would. And I don’t have to go to hell for this post.
I think don’t think there were too many women in the room when Apple named that one.
.-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings´s last blog ..Gluteus Maximus Discovers the Mystical Shroud of Tourin’ =-.
Bet is comes with a pre-installed “that time of the month” calendar app?
.-= self defense Rob´s last blog ..Pepper Spray Allowed on Portland State University Campus =-.
I just got e-mail from one of Tiger Wood’s discards asking if I could send her one of my old iBrators. They do digital double pen.
Smart and clever, my dear. I think I’ll pass on the iPad and probably most everything with a little “i” in front of it.
And I love what you’ve done with the place. Such perfect redhead colors.
.-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld every woman would have "That One Special Dress…" =-.
At least they’re marketing the iPad to both men and women.
Cuz sometimes men need to feel fresh too.
.-= mike´s last blog ..Beggars Can Be Choosers…Apparently… =-.
YOU are a trip woman. I needed this laugh earlier today and just now getting around to commenting. Thank you.
.-= peedee´s last blog ..SEREing Success! =-.
LOL! That was what came across my mind. But I couldn’t have said it better than you. 😀
.-= BK´s last blog ..Practicing High-Mindedness =-.
I mentioned the feminine hygiene problem to my techie husband and son- they were stunned and didn’t think anyone else would think that- Ha! I’m vindicated:)
.-= Susan´s last blog ..13 Blessings =-.
I heard they were going to offer lifetime warranties, but once women hit Macapause, they no longer need the iPads anyway.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Doggone Excuses =-.
Great marketing possibilities here:
Cramps? Bloating? Irritability? There’s an app for that.
.-= Skip Dekades´s last blog ..Applesoft Unveils the iPotty =-.
Too funny! You’ve thought of some really good uses for the new product. You and apple are both one step ahead!
.-= One of The Guys´s last blog ..The Balancing Act of an Artist =-.
Oh, sign me up. I am not an Apple acolyte, but would give anything to be able to dial down the cramps. Also, I would be curious about the instructions for turning the iTouch into a phone. I don’t have one, but I have friends who do.
OMGawd, only you could link those two subjects together. LOL!!
Mike: I think there were women in the room but I think they figured this might be fun and therefor didn’t say anything.
Dr. Faustroll: iBrators! Ha!
Jayne: I love all things with a little i before them. Thanks, it’s probably going to change again.
Mike: You are absolutely right, men like to feel fresh too. Maybe the next product will be the iBalls to get rid of the sweaty ball feeling? (I know, that was stupid)
PeeDee: glad I could help you laugh.
BK: yes you could.
Susan: Mother knows best…again.
Mooog: I love that. Macapause!
Skip: Great tag line!
Guys: Apple is a little bit farther ahead of me. They get paid for their ideas, I give mine away for free. That might explain a lot.
Anne: I’ll email the instructions to you.
Heather: I’d love to be the only one who came up with this but I’m not. MadTV did a very spoof on this years ago.
This is great! Only a group of men could come up with a name like that and not think of the obvious connection. Just another bit of proof that computer geeks never get married….ha-ha.
.-= Jennifer Becker Landsberger´s last blog ..Site of the Day! =-.
Jennifer: 12 year old boys would have caught that in a minute or even sooner. I would have thought a bunch of geeks would have figured it out right away.
All kidding aside about the name, the iPad looks pretty freaking sweet, imho….
.-= self defense Rob´s last blog ..Pepper Spray for Lions, Tigers and Bears =-.
Apple’s a company I’ve enjoyed for some time, they produce gadgets that is visually gorgeous while working like a champ. That can’t be said about alot of companies, it’s typically one or the other. Tech businesses don’t usually take aesthetics seriously like Apple. With that said I’ve got to say that I’m anxious about the new Tablet. One thing I question though, is it too soon? I think that this product may be ahead of its time. What do you think?
ok that was a BRILLIANT fucking post … LMAO
Saw your blog bookmarked on Digg.I love your site and marketing strategy. By the way, if you get a moment, check out my Cross Dressing Website – http://bit.ly/bjCexW
The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.Have you tried the ipad? you can get one free at FreshGiftCard.com
wow i want one of these but ill wait til the ipad 3g comes out
Hi HI First time skipped here on your site, founde on Yahoo.
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