Yesterday Apple introduced the worlds first ever electronic and digital maxi pad. The world had been waiting in great anticipation to see what Apple would unveil. There had been talk of a tablet, a new iPhone and all kinds of other products that no one really needs but must have. With much fanfare Apple, always one step ahead of the competition, surprised everyone when it demonstrated the new iPad.

The new, and improved, iPad uses the same touch screen technology that the iPhone and iTouch use except it is larger and more absorbent. With one swipe of the finger you can now dial down your cramps from debilitating to mildly annoying. Because the iPad runs on AT&Ts 3G network it can be synced with Outlook and other scheduling programs so that periods can be easily scheduled. College girls will no longer have to wait months to synch their periods, just a few quick taps on the screen and everyone can be on the same schedule. One can download apps from both Dominoes and 7-11 so that chocolate and pizza runs are never disappointing.

“There is nothing worse than running to 7-11 at 2am only to find they are all out of peanut M&Ms” said Sarah Field, “With the new iPad I can check the inventory of the closest convenience store to make sure they have all the M&Ms, rocky road and Doritos that I need. I no longer have to go to three different stores in my pajamas.”

Apple is hoping to have an upgrade soon which would allow the users to broadcast their menses so male co-workers and boyfriends know the best time to schedule that meeting, ask if they can go on that fishing trip and possibly get birthday sex.