It is yet another Friday night. The daughter is with her dad and the boy is out with friends. I’m watching Independence Day for the 354 time this winter. If I weren’t watching Independence Day I would be watching Die Hard or Armageddon. All great movies if you like that kind of thing but I’ve seen them enough this winter. I need a date. I don’t need a Mr. Right but boy, Mr. Right Now would be really nice.
In addition to watching old, though awesomely great, action flicks I am bidding on a piece of gum. That’s right, I’ll say it again for those who weren’t paying attention. I AM BIDDING ON A PIECE OF GUM. Of course it is not just any piece of gum it is a piece of Orbit spearmint gum chewed by Colleen Kruse.
Colleen is a local celebrity here in the Twin Cities. She has her own radio show that is more popular than Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity combined. I’m amazed that she has not gone national yet but I understand that she fears if she were heard by the masses there would be a revolt and she can’t be held responsible for that kind of thing. Colleen doesn’t like to be responsible for much these days. Colleen is also a “redhead” and that makes her a star in my book even if it is out of a bottle.
The gum which has been chewed by Colleen Kruse is named Bob. This piece of gum has abilities I have not seen in gum in ages. Not only can it walk dogs but it has the ability to do laundry and other household chores. I hear he has a bit of an attitude however so I’m not sure how that will play out if I win the bidding on eBay. You can check out the auction here.
I’m really not on crack.
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In one word: EWWWWWWWWWW
Well, it’s up to $.20, now – I hope you are prepared to spend big on this!
Ramble, It’s only Ewwww if you don’t know who Colleen Kruse is. And if you don’t know who she is you will soon and then you will wish you bid on the fabulous piece of iconic treasure.
Lilaphase, that’s actually 20 Rupees. I am Rupee millionaire since I have saved the Princess Zelda from Bowser several times now and Zelda pays in Rupees. I’m not sure what the exchange rate is but I suspect a Rupee has held up better than the US dollar.
If the gum will scoop goat and or cat poop I might just bid myself….
Pricilla, I asked about the cat poop but have not heard the answer yet. I’m sure if you ask about goat poop you will get an answer that is not only informative but rather hilarious.
I’m actually not familiar with Colleen Kruse, but you go girl! Whatever floats your boat. Hope you win!
I say go for it! If it makes you happy, it can’t be all bad.
Are you planning on chewing it if you win?
I don’t think I’d mention the gum auction on ebay to any potential Mr. Rights. They might not understand the true value.
“I’m watching Independence Day for the 354 time this winter….” Misery loves company – I’m also watching Independence Day for the 354th time.
Breath of Insanity, Follow the link to Colleen’s Radio show. I think you can listen online. She is hilarious.
MM, No I’m not planning on chewing it. I have a little artist’s drawer hanging on the wall with an open slot for it. It will fit in nicely with my children’s teeth and nail clippings.
Lola, you might be right but if they don’t get it then they really wouldn’t be Mr. Right would they?
Me-Me, Wasn’t it great! It’s on again in a few minutes and i might have to watch it.
Gum that will clean the house sounds like it could be worth it.
Zelda from Bowser? No.
You watch Independence Day like I watch Star Wars. Except add a zero to the end of 354 to get closer to the real number.
The only movie I would watch over and over would be Glory. I love that movie. I hope you win the bid. Who knows she may be the next Howard Stern and you would be rich.
I hope you get the gum–it sounds very important to you. Probably the shipping costs will run in the double digits? HAH
First off. You have an excellent choice in movies. Armegeddon is my all time fav!
Now, the gum? I’ll be interested to hear how that tuns out. Ihope you’re not disappointed, lol.
I like to watch “Bad Girls” it has Madeline Stowe, drew Barrymore, and Adnie McDowell in it. It’s a Western. I have the DVD.
On another note, I find it amusing that everytime I visit your blog there is an ad for a driver training school in Denver on it.
That gum has an impressive stat line. Seems like an over achiever though.
Funny I’ve never seen Independence Day but I have a similar problem with a Poetic Justice and Why Did I Get Married which happen to be on constant DVD rotation.
Also I don’t know Ms C. Kruse but I think a piece of gum that has the ability to be laundry just about priceless!
Independence Day and chewed gum with good mojo is hard to put a price on. But I’m pretty sure what you describe here is the 2009 definition of “living large”.
I’m beyond words. Truly.
Good luck winning the auction. I’d recommend a good auction sniping program, and swoop in with seconds to go and bid thirty cents. Betting the last bidder had gone for a quarter.
Too funny!!
I came here hoping you were looking for Mr. Wrong.
(no one wants Mr. Wrong)
Shawn, I never “got” Star Wars. I’ve tried, sorta, but I don’t see the attraction. Except of course for a young Harrison Ford but since I know what he looks like now it really isn’t that much of a motivator.
Ettarose, I love Glory but it’s really long and there are too many messages in it. I like my movies short and stupid, like my men only taller.
Judy, I was told that it would be hand delivered.
Shelly, it’s up to $1.50 right now and still has several days left. It could be bid out of my price range. I hope not but you never know. I love Armageddon, actually I think I just love Bruce Willis. Especially now that he isn’t with that really ugly Demi anymore. I’m not his number one fan but I’ve been hanging in there since Moonlighting. The Die Hard movies are better than Cheetos and almost as good as the Terminator series, which has a new one coming out this summer, less Arnold of course. It’ll probably suck.
Chris, you are supposed to click on those. I’ve never seen Bad Girls. For some reason Madeline Stowe bothers me. Not why I haven’t seen the movie just letting you know.
C.B. I hear the gum has a huge chip on his shoulder.
Chaotically Calm, I hate to have to do this but you may not come back here until you have seen Independence Day. You must see that movie. It is so phenomenally good and so fucking funny. Sorry, but I can’t believe there is a single soul who hasn’t seen it. Go and rent it now. Let me know how much you loved it.
Margo, that’s just what it is living large. Thank God for cable.
Da Old Man, I hate eBay, I got screwed by some idiot in China who said he never received my package. I haven’t used them since and now I have a whole bunch of old shoes that I don’t know what to do with. I have small feet. If it weren’t such an awesome find I would never bother with eBay again. I bet the old fashioned way. I hit the refresh button every 10th of a second.
Dead Rooster, I have nothing but Mr. Wrongs. You don’t end up with two ex husbands without someone being “wrong” and it certainly wasn’t me. Mr. Bad Boy For a Weekend wouldn’t be all that bad however.
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