It is yet another Friday night. The daughter is with her dad and the boy is out with friends. I’m watching Independence Day for the 354 time this winter. If I weren’t watching Independence Day I would be watching Die Hard or Armageddon. All great movies if you like that kind of thing but I’ve seen them enough this winter. I need a date. I don’t need a Mr. Right but boy, Mr. Right Now would be really nice.

In addition to watching old, though awesomely great, action flicks I am bidding on a piece of gum. That’s right, I’ll say it again for those who weren’t paying attention. I AM BIDDING ON A PIECE OF GUM. Of course it is not just any piece of gum it is a piece of Orbit spearmint gum chewed by Colleen Kruse.

Colleen is a local celebrity here in the Twin Cities. She has her own radio show that is more popular than Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity combined. I’m amazed that she has not gone national yet but I understand that she fears if she were heard by the masses there would be a revolt and she can’t be held responsible for that kind of thing. Colleen doesn’t like to be responsible for much these days. Colleen is also a “redhead” and that makes her a star in my book even if it is out of a bottle.

The gum which has been chewed by Colleen Kruse is named Bob. This piece of gum has abilities I have not seen in gum in ages. Not only can it walk dogs but it has the ability to do laundry and other household chores. I hear he has a bit of an attitude however so I’m not sure how that will play out if I win the bidding on eBay. You can check out the auction here.

I’m really not on crack.

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