WTF?

Open Letter to Nicky of We Work For Cheese on her Open Letter to Margaret of Nanny Goats In Panties®

December 19, 2011

Dear Nicky,

I have been feeling a little un Christmasy lately because I really don’t like the holidays and all the crap that comes with them. I have been so busy that I haven’t had time to read all my favorite blogs and leave comments. I’m upset with myself because I feel as if I have let my friends down by not visiting their blogs each and every day. Even when I have managed to read a post from one of my blogging buddies I haven’t been able to take the time to leave a well thought out comment, one that demonstrated that fact that, indeed, I had actually read the whole post and not just skimmed for the highlights.

Kraft Mac and Cheese in Canada and the US, Canadian Kraft Dinner, US Kraft Mac and cheese, what is the difference between Kraft Dinner and Kraft Mac and CheeseBut tonight, after being chided by Winter for the lack of snow, I followed him back and happened upon your Open Letter to Margaret of Nanny Goats In Panties®. At first I was sure I was going to be on your side because you seemed to understand that there was no substitute for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. I thought for sure that there was no need for me to read Margaret’s Open Letter to Kraft Foods*, when you mentioned Gluten Free Kraft Mac & Cheese (thought you called it Kraft Dinner because you are Canadian), I knew that Dave was just SOL and would have to suck up the fact that he could no longer enjoy Kraft Mac & Cheese (Sorry Margaret and Dave, I know that’s really harsh. As Americans you should have the freedom to eat all the powdered orange cheese you want, I am truly sorry for this loss but life is unfair so suck it up {see, I told you I am not particularly Christmasy and certainly not in the Christmas Spirit}) I really thought that you Nicky, lover of all things cheese, would understand.

No, you got all cheese snobby on my ass:

What is the point, you ask? Kraft Dinner is NOT cheese! Remember Agent Orange? Coincidence? I think not! May as well mix up some Draino with milk and butter and call it “cheese”. I say again, it’s NOT cheese!! You can add vegetables to it and it is still NOT cheese.

Then you went in for the kill and threw down the gauntlet and challenged Margaret to a smack down of Mac and Cheese.

I’m not sure how it will work out, though I suspect your real macaroni and cheese recipe will beat out her gluten free mac and cheese because gluten free just sucks. However, I dare you, no, I double dog dare you to grab a couple of kids (young or old) off the street and feed them a taste of both your REAL mac and cheese and Kraft Mac & Cheese. I am sure that Kraft Dinner will be victorious.

Kraft Pizza Mac, new flavor of Kraft dinnerAre you up for that challenge? I will present to you that a child, my child or your child, will prefer Kraft Mac & Cheese over real home made macaroni and cheese. I will even feed my child the regular Kraft Mac & Cheese instead of the Sponge Bob or Phineas and Ferb versions because though she says they taste better and now refuses to eat the regular kind of Kraft Mac & Cheese I am sure she will prefer the regular kind to real macaroni and cheese. I also suspect that Margaret will prefer Kraft to the real stuff. Hell, I am sure any adult in their 40s will prefer Kraft Mac & Cheese over your real macaroni and cheese any day (Easy Mac is not part of the challenge and that product is disgusting to any person young or old). Are you up to that smack down?

*did you know that Kraft Foods was founded by Canadian born James L Kraft? I bet you didn’t. Eventually the company was acquired by Phillip Morris, the cigarette people it was bought and traded and sold to a bunch of other companies who make food and batteries. You can see the whole story here

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5 Comments

  • Reply Margaret (nannygoats) December 20, 2011 at 5:49 pm

    Kraft was founded by a Canadian? Well whaddya know.

    So, yeah, I picked up the ingredients to Nicky’s real Mac and Cheese for my investigative report. Details to follow.

  • Reply Nicky December 20, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    Dear Jen,

    You made me laugh out loud, for real. You and Margaret are both wonderful, funny, intelligent women with impeccable taste in blog buddies. I guess I expected your tastes in cheese to be just as discriminating! I guess I shouldn’t have expected so much, since you do both live in a country that just declared pizza a vegetable. 🙂

    Yes, I knew that Kraft was originally Canadian. And I’m sorry if I went all cheese snob on your ass. But, as you pointed out, I am Nicky who loves all things cheese, so how can you be surprised?

    Do I really need to say it again? IT’S NOT CHEESE!! Real cheese does not come in powder form and never in a hermetically sealed envelope.

    Do not be certain that any adult in their 40s will prefer Kraft Dinner, because, my dear friend, I am in my 40s and hate it. Now, maybe kids in general will prefer Kraft Dinner over my REAL mac-n-cheese, but kids also eat their own boogers, thereby destroying any possible credibility they might have in this debate.

    Now, regardless of this virtual rapping of my knuckles, thinly disguised as a letter, and regardless of your devotion to that vile orange poison, I love you. And I hope the spirit of Christmas finds you soon, because you deserve a merry holiday with much love, laughter and good cheer.

    Yours in cheese forever,

    Nicky

    • Reply redheadranting December 20, 2011 at 9:31 pm

      You’re getting hung up on whether or not the packet of orange powdered ‘cheese’ is actually cheese. I’m quite sure that both Margaret and I would concur with your assessment that IT’S NOT CHEESE.
      Of course it isn’t cheese, that isn’t the point. The point is it’s Kraft Mac & Cheese, food that puts the comfort in comfort food. Food that was introduced to our generation due to the woman’s movement, Helen Gurley Brown and quite possibly Fear of Flying. If it hadn’t been for those things our mothers might have continued cooking real macaroni and cheese for us, but no, they needed to find themselves leaving us with nothing but the blue box of fake cheese that eventually became the blue box of love.
      As much as I love you and know what a great cook you are, you can’t compete with that.

  • Reply An Open Letter To Margaret Of Nanny Goats In Panties® » We Work For Cheese » Blog Archive December 20, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    […] UPDATE:  Jen, over at Redhead Ranting, was totally MORTIFIED by my trashing all things Kraft Macaroni and Cheese or Kraft Dinner or whatever you want to call the crap! She responded to my open letter with one of her own. You can, and should, read it HERE. […]

  • Reply Is Macaroni and Cheese the New Cupcake? And Does That Mean The Economy is on the Upswing? | Redhead Ranting April 9, 2015 at 5:51 pm

    […] debate recently about the best mac and cheese recipe resulting in a yet to be determined cook off. My money is on the goat. Sure Nicky works for cheese and has a well developed pallet but she’s Canadian and they […]

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