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My Garage Sale

May 18, 2009

So I had my garage sale this past weekend. My first ever garage sale. Also most likely my last. I can’t believe how much work having a garage sale is. And considering that most of my junk was already in the garage I didn’t have to haul stuff in and out of the house.

I used to own a shop and so I thought I knew what I was doing. Wrong. The people who come to garage sales are a different breed. They are looking for bargains and when they don’t see one they aren’t afraid to demand one. I was not selling junk, really, this should have been an estate sale, but I was not going to haul all of it inside the house for the sake of semantics.

I had an old milk carton box full of old records. Vinyl records, the kind that have to played on a record player. They were my records from when I was a teenager so there was a lot of Shaun Cassidy, Billy Squire, Styx, Van Halen and a fair amount of Carpenters, Captain and Tenille, and for some reason I can’t account for a lot of Barry Manilow. Yes, I grew up in the late 70’s early 80’s. I listened to pop music. I am not proud of my record collection and that is why it has sat in my garage with little concern for the care of the dust jackets. When I pulled them out to mark them at a quarter a piece I noticed they were all stuck together on the bottom. My garage floods in the spring time and these albums have been through at least three spring floods. I pulled the albums apart and put them on display. I really didn’t think anyone would be interested in them even if they were in mint condition. I have about five albums left out of 65. Most of the people who bought the albums were in their early twenties. I don’t know why they are interested in bad pop from the 70’s and 80’s but my records were a hit and no one made fun of my love for Shaun Cassidy, in fact I heard from many women my age that they too were planning on marrying him when they were younger.

I was amazed at how some people dressed to go garage sailing. One woman who couldn’t have been much older that her early 20’s came dressed in a pair of hip hugger jeans that were revealing to say the last. These jeans were not manufactured as hip huggers but as my neighbor so eloquently put it “when you stuff 50 lbs of flour in a 5lb bag there tends to be a little spillover.” For the life of me I don’t know how this woman walked. Ever time she bent to look at something I had this insane desire to place quarters in the slot that kept appearing. I couldn’t stop staring at her or her boyfriend who looked normal.

Another woman arrived who for all intents and purposes looked like you and me. Except she had bones in her ears. Not like Wilma Flintstones but actual dog bones, the kind used to clean dogs teeth, Dent-a-bones. I should have asked why she had dog bones in her ears but I wasn’t raised to point out the obvious stupidity in people, at least not to their faces. I’m sure she would have been happy to tell me, one doesn’t put dog bones, and large ones at that in their earlobes unless they want to have people ask them about it.

I did OK on the sale, I still have a fair amount of stuff to get rid of but it’s the kind of stuff that is worth it to put on eBay. I hate eBay but I need to get rid of this stuff and it is too valuable to just give to the Goodwill. So I have that to look forward to…eBay.

When I was finished with the sale I closed up the garage, locked it and brought my daughter with me to Sam’s Club, cause I guess I hadn’t gotten my fix of freaks for the day.

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  • Reply Lola May 18, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Muffin top. The spillover. What strikes me as odd is why the boyfriend wouldn’t say something. I mean, men are never subtle.

    Dog bones in the ears? How freakish is that. I wouldn’t even have guessed anyone did that. Weird.

    Congrats on the album sales. I would have been surprised too. At least you didn’t have any thieves at your sale. When I did my Dad’s estate sale I caught several people trying to walk off with stuff without paying. Now that’s nerve!

  • Reply Pricilla May 18, 2009 at 11:14 am

    We had a huge yard sale after we let my brothers run loose in the house before we took off in the trailer. We were unloading 89% of our life so there was a LOT to get rid of. My brothers took the best of it, we made a good bit on the sale and we still managed to fill a huge dumpster. It is truly amazing how much crap one accumulates.

    My husband had the vinyl collection. His was mostly from the 50ies when he was a boy. LPs and 45s. Now the kids don’t even know what a record is or an 8 track or even a cassette for that matter. There you go – my life in music players….

    People watching is the cheapest (in many meanings of the word) most fun entertainment out there. It’s why I love Vegas in small doses.

  • Reply Kathy May 18, 2009 at 11:55 am

    Like you, I had one and only one yard sale. It’s so not for me. The early birds, the cheapo people, the downright rude hagglers. No thanks. All that pricing and babysitting objects for six hours? Never again. Good luck with Ebay, though! I won’t even consider that, so you’re a better person than me.

  • Reply Jen May 18, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Lola, the people watching was fun but when I realized they now know where I live it kinda creeped me out.

    Pricilla, I wish this were 89% of my stuff but there is so much more it just makes me want to curl up in a corner. A dumpster sounds like the easy way to go.

    Kathy, I’ve done eBay before when I had a store but I hate it so much. It’s no different than an actual garage sale except you don’t get to see what the people look like and therefore can’t write posts about the freaks in this world.

  • Reply Winky Twinky May 18, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Ahhh…I’ve seen some of those bones and other weird things in people’s ears, and faces…what are they thinking… Hope you were able to buy some more good stuff to take over for the stuff you sold…. 😉

  • Reply Vibhu May 18, 2009 at 2:14 pm

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  • Reply BONNIE K May 18, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    That is why I love garage sales. They are a TON of work, but you get such interesting characters and it’s fun, if you’re in the right frame of mind, to just sit back and enjoy. And my husband and I argued over how much to sell the albums for, and I was amazed we got a buck each. I was gonna toss them.

  • Reply The Queen May 18, 2009 at 7:20 pm

    Crap.// I have Nancy Sinatra records in the basement… I’m so old

  • Reply The Mother May 18, 2009 at 7:49 pm

    You do meet some interesting people. Getting dressed up for a garage sale? With bones in your ears?

    I hesitate to ask what she bought.

  • Reply Jen May 18, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    NOTHING. She bought NOTHING, like most everyone who walked into my garage.

  • Reply Chris Casey May 19, 2009 at 5:09 pm

    Did anybody ask if you had a bed? i had people walking up and asking for things I did not have on display. I just wanted to grab and choke them. If it’s not in the driveway, it is not for sale!

  • Reply the Mayor May 20, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    I just had my first garage sale and it was A LOT of work and I had to spend too much time talking to people I didn’t want to talk to.

    The most annoying part was all the old men that came and insisted on buying my ladders and power tools which were ABSOLUTELY not for sale.
    “DON’T TOUCH MY DRILL OLD MAN.”

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