Let me just say first, before I get rolling here, that I love my kids more than anything in this universe and life itself.
When I was younger I envisioned getting married and having two kids. A boy first and a girl second.
I have got to get more specific with my goals.
I got married and I got pregnant and had a boy. By that time my marriage was already over. I didn’t know it but it was and my hope for a second child was on hold.
I rolled with the punches.
I got married again and got pregnant again and had a little girl. The only problem was that it was ten years after the boy was born. I also divorced shortly after the little girl was born.
I convinced myself that all was fine. A ten year spread was no big deal. In fact, it would save me a lot of bickering that most siblings experience.
Wrong.
My kids bicker and fight over the most incredibly stupid things.
The problem with the ten year split is that I get glimmers of hope with my oldest child. I am occasionally shown the light at the end of the tunnel. We are talking about colleges right now. We are discussing his plans for his future. We are having adult conversations.
While having these adult conversations my mind starts to wander. I start to think about what I can do with his room in a year when he leaves for one of the colleges we are discussing. He has the basement and that is a lot of real estate and I have plans for it.
And then I walk into the living room and step on a Midnight Blue Crayola and I am snapped back into reality.
I have twelve more years.
At least.
Worse yet, let’s do the math, son will be 28 when daughter is 18. Do you know what that means? That means, in all likelihood, that there will be a grandchild leaving Midnight Blue crayons on my carpet for me to step on.
Change will come in due time. In every moment of our life let’s keep our strength and do our best. Life is beautiful and full of mysteries, who knows what tomorrow will bring. 🙂
Oh I just cringed. Sucks for you. No, wait. What I meant was something really nice and charming about children. That’s what I meant.
Yeah…that is a bit sobering…I’m going to go and have a drink now.
.-= Lee the Hot Flash Queen´s last blog ..Making Tracks =-.
OK that is a scary thought. You will make it though! You are tough 🙂
Walter: Um, you are right, I don’t know what tomorrow holds, it better not be a grandchild however.
Carolyn: No, it sucks.
Lee: A drink sounds like just what is needed.
Stephanie: I might be tough now but that’s only because they haven’t sucked all the life out of me yet, close but not all of it.
Oh Jen, you could just go ahead and have another one to keep your daughter company! Plus, if you do that, no more buying magnums!
Linda: No I can’t, you must have missed my post about getting my tubes tied. It was a glorious day! At first I thought you were talking about condoms and then I was going to say you didn’t read the post about the sizes of my exes penises.
Oh lord honey, there is some good fodder to read over here! Now I know what I’ll be doing at work tomorrow when I’m supposed to be working. =)
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Hope you found some new blogs to enjoy!
On the bright side, the landmark celebrations get staggered, the grandkids get staggered. But I know what you mean; my son is 22 and youngest is 15, and that’s less difference than you. Yet I feel like I’ve been doing this forever…
.-= Maureen@IslandRoar´s last blog ..Spin Cycle: Opinions =-.
Jen Jen Jen. You are too prolific for me to read them all so fast ! I’m catching up. Okay, I did read the one about the penises. I need to comment on that when I stop falling off my chair laughing!
Peedee: Thanks so much for the linky love and with Tori Amos no less. I am honored. Don’t get busted at work.
Maureen: It does feel like forever. I can’t remember when I was fun anymore. Hell I can’t remember when I stayed up past 11 when someone wasn’t sick and puking. The grandkids better get staggered.
Linda: Shhh, one of them reads this.
Great! I guess I’m doing the same thing. My daughter is 15 and I’m marrying a man with a five and three year old? I must have smoked something, but I didn’t inhale. Right???
They are every other weekend visitation. Maybe that’s more like grandkids anyway. 🙂
Too funny Jen!
The beauty of having grandkids is that you can spoil them and then send them home. I’m looking forward to my daughter being completely responsible for herself, too. But does that ever really happen?
Angelia: You didn’t inhale? Yeah, right. Even with the every other weekend thing I still end up with one of them left in the house. My fear is that they might think I want to hang with the grandkids on a regular like grandma works from home anyway kind of basis. I really need to start looking into RVs.
Jen: I’m all for grandkids in about twenty years. I really want a little “me time” before the grandkid thing happens.
I’m sorry. Really. Being a parent is a bitch. Takes everything you’ve got, and them some, in my experience, and my experience includes four kids. Some days, I just want to shoot myself. Or them. Prison actually sounds a little restful compared to family life sometimes. 😉
I take it you don’t plan to have any more children then? 🙂
Kitty
…and you will LOVE those grandkids SO MUCH… you will wonder why you waited this long FOR grandkids. 🙂 REDHEAD GRANDKIDS… even better!
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Youth Is Truly Wasted On The Young =-.
Momma always said that sex would lead to no good.
See? Always listen to your momma.
Hmmm…You could try thinking REALLY far into the future and thinking about how you’ll have two built-in caregivers for when you are old. Your boy can start taking care of you first, and then your daughter can step in later. You’ll never have to worry about having someone to care for you!
Unless of course they put you in a home… (Shady Pines, Ma. Shady Pines!)
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..School Memories: The Kindergarten Years* (Part II) =-.
I see it for you in my crystal ball……..but I think the crayon will be red.
Mike: I have considered prison on occasion. It would be a welcome vacation at times and I wouldn’t have to do the cooking.
Kitty: Nope!
Katherine: You may be right as long as the grandchildren have a home of their own and are not living with me. I’m all for weekend visits and such but I ain’t doing no daycare.
Mooog: My momma can’t remember what day it is and she drools a lot. She never warned me about the dangers of sex.
Surfie: Having taken care of my mother for all these years I have already made my children promise me that when the time comes, or looks like it is coming, that they need to ship me off to the nursing home. I do not want my children taking care of me under any circumstances. Which is a good thing because when I have been sick and needed a little help they were no where to be found.
PJ: Would that be Magenta, or Rose Red?
Well – Have another one if you really want one. I would imagine seeing the light would be great as 50+ plus years mean you can revert to college days only its early buffets, movies, bowling clubs. Another kid might means your 40s and 50s are PTA meeetings again. but either way – your lucky.
– KD from Waltsense
So… the fact that I still have one in the womb means?
Dammit!
Ah, yes…..but you can send the grandchild HOME. That’s the diff.
I’d try not to look that far ahead…it serves no useful purpose other than to depress you…
Baby steps….(pun intended)
Ahhahahahaha. You signed up for that shit. That is why I stopped at one when I realized they wouldn’t be close. Besides every year I waited would have tacked another year till I was “done”. Now, I love my child… but damn I wouldn’t start over this late in the game. Good luck with that. And… it least it is a good color.
Jen,
That made me giggle…Just so you know, my youngest stepson is 17, almost 18 and my granddaughter is 7 months old…so…I’m kind of there thinking the same… 😉
Peggy
Maybe your son will be like my husband and not want children…..
So you might have a longer wait until your daughter gets older unless she is like me and doesn’t want children….
Then you don’t have to worry about it. Unless you want grandchildren.
Oh, glad you liked the monkey farts…
Walt: The light at the end of the tunnel seemed a lot farther away when I was conceiving her, honestly I wasn’t thinking about the tunnel at that moment.
Capt. Dumbass: Sorry to say…yep.
Kathryn: It’s hard to not look that far ahead. I do the math every day in my head. But at least each day it’s a little bit shorter.
Mepsipax: I’m with you. When I hear that someone like Madonna or other celebrity has a baby at age 45 or later I just wonder what drugs they are on. Then I remember they have money and a nanny and all kinds of other good stuff so it probably isn’t the same.
Peggy: That kinda scares me.
Pricilla: Son says he doesn’t want any children and so does daughter. However, he’s 16 and doesn’t have a whole lot of control over any of it. At least that is what I keep trying to explain to him. Daughter will want children when she gets older as will the son. And yes, I do want grandkids but not until I have had a little fun first.
The soap smells wonderful.
Awww, you poor thing. You can live vicariously through me if you want. Not to rub it in or anything, but I don’t have any (that’s ZERO to you and me) kids.
I am so happy my son is 10 almost 11. I am halfway there, right?
Hey there Jen,
Take it one year at a time. lol Maybe, just maybe… you’ll be able to enjoy that real estate BEFORE the grandkids come and invade your house. Best of luck! Later.
Trust me, when you step on thecrayon the grandkids left behind, you will cherish that moment.
Well, you are still lucky because you are almost on the finish line, while me still on the starting line. I heard grandkids are sweeter that your own kids.
Margaret@NGIP: I already lie vicariously through you and the goats. And it’s a lot more fun that way.
AmyLK: Yep, almost done as long as you don’t pop another one out. That sets the clock way back but at least you have a babysitter on hand.
Metallman: I have a sneaking suspicion that the daughter will take his room when he is gone. If I don’t lay claim to it before grandkids come along it will turn into a play room. Which might not be all bad, at least I can get my living room back.
Margo: You are probably right but the thought of it scares me right now.
Shydub: Yes you have a way to go but you are probably a lot younger than me. I got started late. I also heard grandkids are great because you can send them home.
What a funny story! My wife and i don’t have the joy of having children leaving crayons on the floor, but we do have have seven nieces and nephews, ages 2-16, that live in our “Compound” in the Philippines. One of those kids is a three year old screaming banshee of a boy. The kid seriously tests my patience, but I am hoping he starts preschool early. I am encouraging it!
Dave: I was one of those moms who cried on the first day of preschool (and kindergarten and first grade). They were of course happy tears, joyful tears, and tears of relief.
My girlfriend is in a similar situation as you. She just had a new born baby girl, after already having an 11 year old. I dont know HOW she does it! I have one 13 year old son, and I simply cant IMAGINE going back to the beginning!
It gets better. My kids are almost exactly 10 years apart and they are very close. My son is 30 and my daughter is 20 and hubby and I are enjoying it being just the two of us for the first time since we got married.
that’s why I kept it to one and done.
Thanks for stopping by Weezers Haven and commenting.
2 kids 10-years apart, huh? I had my first and then 8 years later had another, then 15 MONTHS later had my last one. All girls. I think that’s what made my experience so different from yours. All girls. Now I’ve got the three granddaughters…..oldest is 8 years old, and then there’s one 15 months old and another 13 months old. And a 4th (gender unknown) due in July.
I’ll have to get caught up on all that you’ve got going on here…..one red-head to another. I’ll be back.
This is why I don’t do math.
Meleah: It didn’t seem like going back to the beginning when I started the whole journey. However my son has been an easy child to raise. He was into everything as a toddler, and I have the gray hairs to prove it, but he settled down and has been a breeze since then. {knocking on wood}
Brenda: When they are 30 and 20 they will (hopefully) be out of the house and then I will certainly enjoy them.
Jessica: I don’t want to return either of them and I grew up with a brother so I did want to have two. A little closer in age would have been nice or if I had been a little younger when I started the whole thing, that would work too.
Weezer: Three girls is so much worse than what I have going on here. How did you get through it?
Mrsblogalot: Good point!
My brother is 11 yrs. older than me (no siblings in between) so I’m sure my mother could relate to this one!
.-= kys´s last blog ..10 Things To Do When You’re Bored =-.
My best friend had three kids, nine years apart… an 18 year spread! Me, I stuck with one… who at 22 is still hanging around, but hopefully his room will be available for rent soon!
Love this post. I had a daughter when my step kids were 14 and 20. Got divorced when she was 4. went from family of 5 to single mom of one. Like having two completely different lives in one lifetime! love the blog, am now following you on twitter.