I really am, someone needs to call social services on me. I may not be as bad as the woman who made make-shift straight jackets out of pajama tops but only because I didn’t think of it when they were little and now they are too big for me to wrestle.
Today marks the 40 anniversary of Sesame Street. I remember watching Sesame Street when I was a kid, which would have been right when the show started. One of my first memories was of running to find my grandmother, who had come to take care of my brother and me when my mom got sick, and telling her that the “Manamana” Song was on.
My grandmother was cool, she loved the Manamana song as much as I did. My grandma was cool in so many ways that I didn’t fully understand until I was older. Aside from being a fantastic cook she loved to entertain. When I was about 18 I went to Ohio to visit her and she and I walked to the shopping area of her town to buy booze for her gathering. Grandma didn’t drive. I didn’t understand why back then but as I tell this story I think I might know why. She bought Jack Daniels, her favorite, and another bottom shelf whiskey so she could fill her old, empty bottle of Jack with the cheap stuff for guests. My grandmother was a wealthy woman but had lived during the depression and it was apparently normal to save the good stuff for yourself.
But I’m getting off topic.
Remembering the days when I watched Sesame Street, even if they were completely chaotic because of my mom being in the hospital for so long, made me realize that I am doing a horrible job of raising my kids.
This morning as I am packing my daughter’s lunch I asked her to go and get dressed for school. Not a big deal except she had slept in her clothing from the night before and I actually considered allowing her to go without changing. It would save all sorts of time and that is something I never seem to have enough of. If it hadn’t been for the frosting stains on her shirt from breakfast I could have gotten away with it.
Yes, I said frosting stains from breakfast.
We had some titty cup cakes left over from the party and when she asked for one for breakfast I actually heard the words of Bill Cosby in my head saying “hmmm, cake is made from flour and eggs, the same thing in pancakes, of course you can have cup cakes for breakfast”. Bill Cosby is considered a fantastic father so his advice must be right?
We never had cupcakes for breakfast and to wear my clothes from the day to bed would have been unheard of. I wore pajamas until I was in my teens and then thought they were silly and started wearing t-shirts to bed. My kids have worn t-shirts to bed since they outgrew their first pair of footy pajamas. I just don’t see any reason to buy clothing to sleep in.
We ate dinner together every night. Dinner was always at 7:30 which frustrated my brother and me to no end because all of our friends ate at Catholic Feeding Time which was 6pm. They had already eaten, cleaned up and were back outside playing when my brother and I had to sit down to eat. We wouldn’t finish cleaning up until after 8 and by then everyone had gone inside. We ate at 7:30 because my parents liked to watch the news, have a couple of cocktails and relax before dinner started. Because my brother and I wanted to be outside playing with everyone, and because we were hungry, we were often crabby at dinner time. We’d pick fights with one another which then meant we would have to stay at the dinner table until we made up. Often we’d sit there until 9pm, finally faking the make up and moving our separate ways only to find all our friends had long since gone to bed and we were thus forced to play together.
I don’t know how my parents did it. Yeah, they had a cleaning lady who came in every day and nannies for my brother and me but how much do things like that really help? I blame my lack of formality on my lack of a husband. When I had one around I was able to spend a lot more time on things like eating at the dinner table, actually preparing a three course meal, dressing the kids in sleep clothes and still I managed to get to bed by the beginning of the Leno show. I’m lucky if I can get the daughter to bed by the end of the Leno show. Granted it starts an hour earlier now but still that is too late. When I had a husband I cared about the house and having all the laundry folded and put away. Now I am lucky if I get a shower every day. I honestly don’t know what happened. When did time start speeding up?
40 years can make such a difference, and I don’t even drink Jack Daniels.
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I really enjoyed your story about your grandmother, that was cool how she’d switch the booze in the bottle. Oh, my. LOL!
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a great mom! One day your kids will look back, probably when they have kids of their own, and will remember the titty cupcakes for breakfast…..then, they will smile.
BTW, I love the “Manamana” song!
.-= MadMadMargo´s last blog ..Off The Top Of My Head =-.
I swear – WE ARE THE SAME PERSON. I grew up similarly – my mom divorced my dad and moved in with this man who we lived with for like 15 years. (So she was never *really* single.) Yes, she worked a full time job as an admin assistant – but we ALWAYS had dinner together. We went out probably twice a week (to Furr’s Cafeteria – the place I thought resembled an old folks home when I was a kid and would get totally grossed out) – but the nights we ate at home, we had a MEAL. I mean something like baked chicken, salad, corn, bread and green bean casserole. I stay home and *I* can hardly get a dang Tombstone pizza on the table. (Granted, she had my brother and I do all the prep work before she got home…because we weren’t allowed to play outside. My kids would honestly lay on the floor and die before helping with dinner.)
I don’t know what kind of drugs my mother took (well, she did drink a whole lotta wine – like a gallon a night) but still. My kids sleep in their clothes, I pull the same thing about doing a quick stain check before throwing them quickly out the door. I feed them Halloween candy for breakfast – when they get breakfast.
Just know you aren’t the only one…no matter how bad things are in your house, the exact same thing is either going on – or has gone on – at mine. xx
Margo, she was a hoot. The most prim and proper lady I have ever met. She had running a household down to a science but then she had “help” as well. She’d roll over in her grave if she saw the dust bunnies on my floor and the sink full of dishes.
Queen Katherine, It’s good to know I’m not the only one. I’m surprised my kids have turned out as well as they have frankly. My mom took all kinds of drugs and drank so maybe that’s my problem, I’m not taking any drugs.
I think we are all like that today. Eat dinner! please!! You are a great mom!!
I grew up with Sesame Street too. But, I think Mr. Rogers was my favorite. That soothing voice talking only to me…..good times.
Lee, I eat dinner, it’s just usually sitting on the couch with the kids watching Simpsons, which is better than South Park I guess, and hey, we are eating together.
Becky, I was never a huge fan of Mr. Rogers. The puppets always creeped me out for some reason. Sesame Street was good but The Electric Company was my all time favorite.
Hey, Queen Katherine took my name LOL… I’m sure she is more deserving of it than me!
OK Jen… cupcakes for breakfast. You wanna know what my eight year old had? A bowl of chicken soup and two chocolate Milano cookies. Salt and sugar. Breakfast of champions.
And when they were in pre-K, sometimes they had their bath at night and put on their clothes for the next day. So THERE.
Today with school uniforms they can’t get away with it. But I see NOTHING wrong with it 🙂
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Nothing Goes With Bagels Like…. =-.
Katherine, I have more Katherines and Kathys who visit. Chicken soup has some nutritional value to it and Milano cookies are just damn good so a great way to start the day in my book. Most cereals have just as much sugar and salt but at least they look like a real breakfast. Does anyone cook eggs for breakfast anymore? Besides on a Sunday? I like the idea of dressing them after the bath for the next day, I really like that idea, what a time saver except for the horrible bedhead which is bound to happen from sleeping on damp hair.
Another Kathy here. Can I just tell you how much I admire all parents? I can’t do parent. I would send my kids out in the same clothes every day of the week, they’d have to fend for themselves for food and I would have no problems making a TV a babysitter. Everyone should be glad I don’t have kids. I always said I could totally do pregnancy, but if you send me out the door with a baby who counts on me, I wouldn’t know the first thing I’m supposed to do. Please, oh please, stop being so hard on yourself.
And thank you so much for that Manamana video. I sang that thing all day in my head. I was 4 when Sesame Street started, so I remember it well. Catchy tune!
.-= Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..How to Make Nipple Cupcakes =-.
Kathy, and everyone else who suggested I not be so hard on myself, I’m not being hard on myself. I learned a long time ago that some things are important and some things aren’t. The dentist might not agree but the daughter has a spare set still so we have a little time to work on things. Kathy, I am sure you would make a great mother, you’d just have to remember to check the back seat of the car whenever you got out. Kids are pretty resilient and thankfully when they start realizing how badly their parents messed up they are the ones who have to pay for the therapy. It’s a right of passage at this point. And I don’t know any parents who know what they are doing when they bring that bundle of joy home. No matter how many books you read it all flies out the window when you realize there is a little person who counts on you and only you. Frankly it’s terrifying and had I known the truth I would have never had children. Which is why they make you promise not to tell potential parents how scary the whole thing is so that we keep procreating and keep the species alive. I know I signed a contract when I left the hospital. Luckily the new smell wears off and they start to cost a lot of money and you realize that as they get bigger and learn the basics like not running with scissors and sticks, and that they don’t posses the ability to fly, it gets a little easier and you can begin to breath again. At least until they become teenagers and it seems as if you have aged overnight. My kids are alright, they feel safe, they are good kids, if wearing their clothes to bed and eating titty cupcakes every once in a while is the cause of that I’ll take it. We don’t have any OCD over here, yet, so I am not too worried about things. They are relatively laid back and will more than likely drive any potential mate who was raised in a traditional household (of which I am no longer convinced exist after reading all the comments) crazy. But, they will have some great stories to tell.
“Which is why they make you promise not to tell potential parents how scary the whole thing is so that we keep procreating and keep the species alive.”
I KNEW it.
Frogmama, by the time your little one is 5 they should send you the memo about keeping it all hush hush.
hi
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but, oh well, you got a cute blog here 🙂
happy blogging!!
You’re not alone in this not living up to your ideal of a mother thing. I don’t know how it happened but cooking is like a special occasion around here and I have a rule- wrinkled, ok to wear, stained- mostly ok to wear, wrinkled and stained- no good.
You gave your kids titty cupcakes for breakfast? OK. Well, at least you didn’t give them your leftover penis dogs and dildos, right? Please tell me you didn’t. Oh, dear God, surely you didn’t.
P.S. — I bought your e-book. I can’t wait to get rich. Or richer.
Sterndal, Thanks, I’ll have to take a look at your site.
Nanodance, It sounds like a perfectly acceptable rule to me, one I might have to adopt.
Mike, I did not give them penis dogs for breakfast. My 16 yr old took all of them right after the party and shared them with his friends. The laughed and giggled the whole time. Luckily their parents are all pretty cool.
I just sent your book, I hope you like it. Thanks for purchasing it. And don’t forget the free Adgitize trial and the free advertising on my site.
I think you sound like a mother who has her priorities straight. I’ve taken slacker to a whole new level myself in many ways, but in others I think we parents who know and appreciate the versatility of the extra large tee shirt and cupcakes for breakfast have our finger closer to the pulse of what a pain it is to grow up these days. And most breakfast food is crap anyway. And having help does make a big difference. (not that I’d know directly, except there’s one mother in my hood with a nanny, a housekeeper, and lots of extended family in my neighborhood – and she sure looks like a better mother than the rest of us – but you still have to squint 🙂 And your grandmother sounds awesome. Cheers!
Margo, “and she sure looks like a better mother than the rest of us – but you still have to squint” I love that! I think you are right. Appearances can be deceiving. I knew kids who came from families that really looked like the had it all together and then you peek behind the curtains and find drug abuse, eating disorders, teenage pregnancies and a whole slew of other things. On the other hand I have known kids who grew up with a single mom, never saw their dad, worked from an early age because there just wasn’t enough money to go around and still managed to get through an Ivy League school with honors and then go on to have a very successful life. I have yet to meet anyone successful or unsuccessful who blamed or credited that success with eating cupcakes for breakfast.
Manah Manah has been stuck in my head since I was a kid, even know when work is annoying i will sing it to myself.
We are all so hard on ourselves aren’t we?
One of the old sayings from my waiting tables days that I’ll never forget is … “you’re only in the weeds if you care”
Caring is a good thing. It’s the main thing.
I grade myself (low) everyday like I am taking a self-imposed mandatory parent test. I have to make a huge effort to put away the red pen most days and hope for a great makeup exam the next day.
Awesome post Jen…as always!
Melyssa (a.k.a. not Kathy)
Hi Jen… I used to have chocolate chip cookies and Coke for breakfast… not every day… but often enough… and my favorite sandwich was sugar and mustard…lol… I survived it and your kids will survive the cupcakes. Nothing wrong with sleeping in t-shirts either… my older kids did it and well… they are a bit warped… but not too bad…heehehe. Your a great Mom… we all do things our own way and as long as your kids are safe,happy and loved it all works out just fine. Besides… who couldn’t do a better job with a nanny and a housekeeper???… it sure must be nice!… I’ll never know!
Love Manamana!
A Lil Enchanted,
~LaShan~
Sometimes I have caramel corn for breakfast.
Now I can’t get the mananana song out of my head.
Hey, if she’s happy that’s what counts. We had the all eat together put the good foot forward farce and I would have rather had a sober mother and dinner in front of the TV.
VetTech, I bet you are fun to work with. The manamana song is a great ice breaker, who doesn’t know it? It makes people smile and the monster part is the best.
Melyssa (aka not Kathy), we should all be patting ourselves on the back and squash the negativity whenever it creeps up. But I know that is a hard thing to do. I wonder why that is? It seems to me that somewhere along the way we learned that if we are suffering or struggling it is acceptable. Success is still something people apologize for. The truly bad parents don’t have a clue that they are doing a poor job and the good ones are so busy beating themselves up they can’t see that they are doing a pretty good one.
LaShan, Really, you ate sugar and mustard sandwiches? That’s something my son would try and probably love. He eats cheese dipped in chocolate sauce. I want to puke just looking at him eating it. I have to admit that in high school I ate a Tab and melba toast for breakfast. Not because I liked it but because it was the diet that was going around. It worked however, probably because melba toast is nasty and you don’t really eat much of it.
Pricilla, Caramel corn for breakfast doesn’t sound that bad, especially for a goat who probably eats some really weird stuff for breakfast. Dinner in front of the tv was always a treat, of course it meant something either horrible or important had happened. I remember eating in front of the tv when Nixon resigned, when the astronauts landed on the moon and for about a week after 9/11.