Today we start a new feature here on Redhead Ranting. Once a month I will be reviewing a sex toy. I have no idea what to call this monthly feature so if you have any suggestions please leave them in the comment section. Even though this is a product review of a sex toy I will try to keep it clean. If you are offended by talk of these kinds of toys please come back tomorrow. In all likelihood I am more embarrassed than you, at least for this first one. Once I get my groove on it shouldn’t be so hard for me.
Did you see the pun I just used? Yeah, it wasn’t that good.
Today I am reviewing the Inspire by Couture Collection.
The Inspire touts itself as intensely powerful with incremental speeds, at least that is what it says on the box. And it is. So much so that it’s all over before it’s even started. It’s got too much of a punch, so to speak. It does have incremental speeds but they are achieved by holding down the on/off button. If you press the button while using the toy suddenly your toes have curled and you weren’t even ready.
Sadly, I had a really hard time with this toy. It is corded which means if you are going to use it, it has to be plugged into a wall. All of my outlets in my bedroom are already in use so it was a pain to have to unplug something so I could use this. The cord is long enough but it gets in the way. Once plugged in and turned on it made so much noise I was completely distracted. I could not get my groove on because it rattled and hummed and not in a good way. As sex toys go this one fails, at least for solo use. With a partner it might be a lot of fun, we could laugh at the noise and rattling.
Interestingly the box has images of water on it. This toy should definitely not be used in water because it is plugged into the wall.
I will say this about the Inspire, it is cute. It’s about six inches long and is a lovely combination of lavender shades. It’s got a 100/240 v power adapter so it does pack a punch but for me it was too much for such a sensitive area. It makes a great back massager however.
All in all I’d have to give this a thumbs down. It makes too much noise to be discreet, the cord is more than what I want to deal with when I need to get my groove on and it’s just too powerful. Even on low it was very intense. Too intense.
See, that wasn’t so bad was it? Did I make anyone besides me blush?
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Iffin that thing hadn't been on yer cooter, I would have asked if I could have it to use as a back massager.
Come on, I can't be the only one who embarrasses themselves buying back massagers by shouting “This is NOT a EUPHEMISM! My back really hurts and am afraid of masseuses!”
I've got a big red glitter dick for you if you want it. Still in the box, never been opened. It's kinda scary though.
I have a client that treats sexual disorders so I know more about vibrators than I probably should. The reason I am telling you this so I can explain why it is so powerful (and wired) without sounding like I have spent too much time on my own. As women get older, they have more difficulty reaching their happy place. They need stronger stimulation. It requires a cord because battery-operated devices aren't strong enough. There, did I share too much information?
On a completely unrelated note, I am curious to see your sex toy collection if you have enough that you can do a review every month.
Sure Anne, it's always a friend isn't it. I heard that women who use
vibrators too much get rather numb in their cooters (thanks Tracy!) so it's
harder and harder to find their happy place. Mix it up girls, don't always
rely on your battery operated toys.
I love blogging….ya just learn the darnedest things!
I was going to say that you will have quite a collection after a while but it has been said.
Being a goat and and an old one at that I just get inspired by looking at my studmuffin Luke. The publicist won't let me near him any longer since I lost my kid and worried her so much.
I don't think this is fair. I want my studmuffin and he wants me.
Harumph.
Is that a pink carrot? I like carrots
I thought about that. When they do an episode of me on Hoarders I hope I am dead. Oh no, that's even worse. Damn.
Well that's about the cleanest version of a sex toy review I could have imagined. Man, this was practically family-friendly. I mean, except for the part where you actually said “sex toy”.
And I blushed when I typed it too. If this product had worked better it would have been a lot more fun to write. It was pretty frustrating, not to mention the whole time I was trying to find my happy place I was thinking about writing the post which is kind of a buzz kill.
That was way more information than I needed. Bwahahahahahaha. At least we'll all know what to buy and what not to buy.
Have a terrific day. 🙂
Too funny. I see you got it online. I can't get my girlfriend into the stores. Not even Lover's Lane. It doesn't bother me in the least to go in, or even ask questions. Last time I went the clerk went on for over 20 minutes about some kit with all kinds of edible potions and lotions and dusts. The kit cost $125, but was on sale for $97. I was only looking for 1 thing. And I certainly wasn't looking for any products geared towards helping a certain part of the male anatomy. I couldn't interrupt her once she got talking. When she was done, I finally said, well, I'm looking for 1 item. I grabbed it and paid. As I was paying another woman was trying to check out, but the clerk was trying to make a bigger sale and the woman says, 'well, it's really not in my budget for that this month, but these a*** ***** are in my budget'. I'm thinking…wow! This woman must have some detailed budget, if she budgets for specific sex toys. (If you want to know what she bought, email me. ..unless you can guess. lol!)
How about 'Adult Sandbox Thursdays'?
I'm not going to ask yet. I have to think about it. My ex and I had a bag 'o
toys that we'd bring with us when we went away for the weekend. We rarely
used it but we brought it with us each time just in case. Having the bag
there, knowing what was in it was inspiration enough.
This is going to be so awesome! Way to go! That would be way out of my comfort zone, but you rock! The box showed pictures of water on it….that should have been the first clue. Everything is cordless now a days. Why shouldn't buzzy buddies be too? Hey that could be a title for ya. Nah…too cutesy.
I like Buzzy Buddies but it's more than just buzzing toys. Good name though!
Anne explained the power cord aspect to it. Batteries just don't supply
enough juice. Anne knows all about Buzzy Buddies, I mean, her friend does.
I'm not blushing!
This reminds me that a few weeks ago, I was working in my bedroom and heard this buzzing noise that I figured was coming from next door. It sounded vaguely like a lawn crew. But I kept going to the window, listening . . . it wasn't coming from outside. IT WAS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! My underwear drawer, specifically. Somehow, when shoving my socks around, I activated one of my vibrators, and it was just buzzing merrily away. Without me! And using up all the batteries.
I look forward to many more sex toy reviews.
Hahaha! You are supposed to take the batteries out of your toys
http://www.redheadranting.com/my-sex-toy-party/ I wrote all about that when
I had my sex toy party last fall. You don't want the battery acid getting
loose in those kinds of toys for obvious reasons. Go take out the batteries
everyone.
OMG. Laughing at JD's discovery and mesmerized by all the knowledge I'm getting here today. Remove batteries? Who knew?
So much to learn……
There is also something about using certain kinds of lubes on the rubber and
or mixing with latex. I'd have to Google it to say for sure. It creates some
kind of reaction like putting bleach and ammonia together. They probably
have an online class for all the proper care of vibrators.
Between JD and Kathy's comments Im CRYING laughing.
I'll never be able to look you in the eyes again!
i can remember buying my first vibrator – going into Spencers gifts with a baseball hat and sunglasses, glancing right and left to make sure I didn't know anyone, waiting until there was no one else in line – The only good thing was that it was sold as a massager – the bad thing, everyone but me knew that everyone knows what it really was.
And now we have the internet so you never have to dress up again to buy a
“massager”. You can get anything you want delivered to your door! I didn't
know Spencers sold vibrators. There is no way I would have bought one there,
where all the kids hung out. You are braver than I.
Sheila, I WENT TO SPENCER'S TOO! But it was “a gag gift for a wedding shower.” Surrreeeee
Alex brought home a GIANT black vibrator thing. It's actually for use as a massager, but it looks like it would be perfect for some very large woman to try as a sex toy. It's so heavy though my arm would give out trying to use the sucker! I love you tackling this touchy subject so to speak! (My darling DIL phoned me when the airlines lost her suitcase and her vibrator was i it! Bless her heart! I'm so glad my son has a wife who likes toys!)
What a great and strange relationship you have with your DIL. I could never have called my MIL if I had lost my vibrators.
Actually, a terrific, frank review. Not too 'hard' to take… sorry, I'm out of practise on these kind of jokes!
No, you did really well.
Well I'm in my happy place 24 hours a day…….Oh, you mean THAT happy place 😉
That was the most unblush worthy review I've ever read on a sex toy! 😉
Just for fun I'll tell you that the last time we moved all the stuff that the movers didn't take was in the back of the truck. Our neighbor came over to say good bye and leaned on the side of the truck. The suitcase filled with the toys started buzzing and vibrating and I was so embarrassed. I mean how do you say “Just a sec and let me turn off all my sex toys. Go ahead and finish what you were saying, I'm still listening?” with a straight face? I turn bright read over the smallest things and I don't think my face stopped being red for at least three hours after we left the house!
OMG you crack me up. Not just one, or two but a whole suitcase full! You
rock!
How about “That Time of the Month.”
Oy, how do you punctuate that sentence? I don't mean you should call it something that's a question, as in, That Time of the Month? Already?
I mean a statement. That Time of the Month! Well, I guess the exclamation point makes it more of a proclamation, eh?
I'm gonna leave the punctuation up to you, okay? Okay then.
Oh Cardiogirl! You leave comments just like me! Yay! I like that, I think we
will go with that, it will keep a lot of the guys away but that might be
just as well.
Sweep the Leg! I WIN!
I know. There's nothing to win except the knowledge that I rule in this comment thread. You have to take your victories where you can find them.
I actually like the sex toy reviews done by people who are not “professionals” and who aren't trying to sell the product.
To know “hey, it's NOISY” is real, practical information.
Maybe the “water” on the box was supposed to suggest the result of use of the product? (Ummm, TMIC (too much info comment?)) because electricity + bathtub = not so good.
Oh and… you might call your reviews “The Buzz” (even if they aren't all vibes)
Uuuum… words fail me.
Still, this feature needs a name. If you do it midweek every month, it can be “Woo-Hoo Wednesday”. Or “Tickle-My-Fancy Tuesday”, even.
Those are awesome!
Meleah knows NOTHING about Sex Toys and she's psyched JENNIFER is BRAVE enough to review products for her – so she wont have to!
and can I get a “Hell Yeah” for that shade of lavender?
It is a very pretty shade isn't it? Maybe you should incorporate one of these toys for DTD?
MAYBE.
But that might require several glasses of 'Liquid Courage'.
[Otherwise known as vodka!]
Well, then….Cheers!
Ahahahahahah!
xoxoxoxo
Meleah I SO see this as Doing Something Differently for you! Can you imagine trying to write about this thing in third person?!
Oh, no! That doesn't look like fun at all!! Nothing with cords 🙂 I'm clueless on the name, but I see some really good suggestions!
Maybe using your own words, “get your groove on,” would make a great name for your monthly feature. Movers once found a toy in a bureau drawer upon removing it.
I think a good name for your monthly review would be “Playtime With Jen”. Also, I mentioned this post in my newest blog post, http://slightlysarcastic.net/?p=1276
Jen Gets Her Buzz On. I like that title.
It is cute.. but loud is not good. Kids might hear and come in to investigate.. and I don't like the cord either.
Hopefully next month's is better.
How about : The Redhead Panting Review? Jen does toys? Toy this? Jen's Joy's of Toys..please just tell me to stop
Finally, a blog with useful information…
Culture collection rocks! Inspire does inspire people to do something about their sex lives. It's always a challenge using sex toys that require a wall socket.
sex toys for men
You know what I am looking forward too? In a few months, comparing your sex toy review with this first one. Oh and question, does anyone in your FAMILY read this blog? LOL!
OK, so you gotta review that big rabbit vibrator thing. Is it really what they SAY it is?! I've always wondered that.
There is a sex toy shop two streets away from me – the Pink Banana. I love the name. Waiting for my daughter to ask what it is. It is right next t a Jiffy Lube. Kinda ironic. You know those guys love watching everyone go in. It is also about 2 minutes away from our school. I have a huge white van with very recognizable license plates. It would be hard to hide there. I went in once and my significant other bought a toy. I just about DIED when the lady put batteries in to show how it works. I was SO EMBARRASSED. And when I first walked in they start asking outloud, “Are you looking for internal or external stimulation”…. I could hardly breathe! Yup, I think ordering online is the way to go. So looking forward to your reviews.
Maybe you could name the monthly reviews “Leave It To The Beaver,” “Babes in Adult Toyland,” or “An Adult Toy Story: Reviews That Would Make Buzz Lightyear Blush.” IDK, it's all I can come up with for the moment.
I think I would be so nervous about getting electrocuted in a place I didn't want to be electrocuted due to the cord (you want sparks, but not that kind), I wouldn't be able to relax enough to use it. They should have included a matching surge protector.
I love your ideas! I'd never thought of the electrocution aspect of the
machine. One more thing to worry about I guess.
Can you just imagine having to explain to the ER doctor why you have burn marks downstairs? It's a Grey's Anatomy episode in the making. You know, just one more thing to worry about next time you plug in Mr. Sparky. 😉
Oh, I'm going to enjoy this new feature for sure! If that thing wasn't so noisy, I could definitely see it being of use for me, with it being corded and all. I use up way too many batteries and I think the guy at our local store is getting suspicious…