Magnets of Love

Remember Magnetic Poetry? It was big in the 90’s. Little words were printed on magnetic paper so you could write poetry on your refrigerator. At least that was the intent. What usually happened, at least in my house, was that lots of phrases were created but rarely were they poetic.

I bought a set of these magnetic words when ex#2 and I were dating, and before my son had learned how to read.

I bought the box for lovers. All kinds of words that while not dirty or obscene alone, when paired with other words could make a sailor blush.

I think ex#2 and I used these little words once and forgot about them. When my son was able to read I removed any questionable words and put them in a plastic container and hid them in the junk drawer. When we moved, I took all the magnetic words off the fridge, placed them in the container and shoved them in a box marked “kitchen”.  The box had remained unopened in my new basement for the last three years.

The other night my daughter announced that she is writing another book and needs some staples to bind it. My daughter is nothing if not prolific, she writes a book a night with illustrations. So what that my book has been in the works for the last three years. I’m not jealous or anything.

Anyway, we needed staples. I knew I had a box of junk in the basement that probably contained a box or two. I knew this because when I was employed by the corporate world I always made sure to raid the supply cabinet when it looked like lay offs were coming. I haven’t had to buy office supplies in at least a decade.

We found the box in the basement marked “kitchen” and as I was searching through it for the staples, daughter found the plastic container with the Magnetic Poetry. She opened it up and her eyes practically bugged out of her face. Words! Words on magnetic paper! Daughter can read and write now so this was quite a find for her. Somewhere in the back of my brain bells were going off . I grabbed the box before she could look too close to the words. I started pulling out words that I didn’t want to define to her just yet.

Words like clit, genital (which I found funny because when writing sexy notes to a significant other I rarely use the word genital. In fact I don’t think I ever use that word, it’s way too clinical), horny, fuck, pussy, and cock. Every time I found a questionable word I pulled it from the container and shoved it in my pocket. I gave her words like is, she, are, and, it, and was which didn’t give her much to work with.

I looked at the pile of words I had pocketed and noticed they were regular words but my mind was now in the gutter. Words such as pink, beg, big, tremendous, throbbing, rubber, satisfy, come, explode, head, fill, shaft, part, ram, bush, mound, shower, and grind. Words that are used everyday without causing any trouble. I also found some that were just head scratchers, ugly and death. We might have found those useful when we got divorced.

My daughter saw the pile of words I was keeping from her and asked why she couldn’t use the words come, sausage, finger and head. I had no good explanation for her except I knew if I put those words up, the teenage boys who frequent my kitchen would be all over them and not in a good way.

Censorship squelches creativity.

This is what is written on my fridge:

I ate chocolate with fat

the car is white

I hate winter

She used eggs on (that thought wasn’t completed)

I need more words. Words like puppy, kitten, boat, jump rope, girl, and boy. I need individual letters, numbers and colors. I need words for kids whose minds haven’t yet been corrupted.

This is not a paid post or advertisement. I really do have a box of smutty words that I can not put on my fridge. While researching this post, okay, I Googled Magnetic Poetry for the link, I learned that the creator of Magnetic Poetry is a local boy. Dave Kapell came up with this wonderful idea that allows people to creatively use their fridge. He even has a blog.  Dave, if you are reading this send me some kid words. I’m sure they will be used for writing juvenile phrases and sentences too but at least give me something to work with.