Last month I wrote a post about the worst Mother’s Day gifts ever. I thought it only fair that I do the same thing with Father’s Day but after talking to a few dads I realized I couldn’t come up with five bad Father’s Day gifts. It would seem that dads are happy with just about any gift you give them. They don’t have a problem with receiving power tools. Most dads don’t care what you get them as long as you remember them some way on this special day.
I say most dads because one year, when I was about 20, my brother and I gave my father not one but two wooden toilet seats for Father’s Day and they were not well received. In our defense dad had one or fifteen of everything. If he wanted something he wasn’t going to wait until a holiday or birthday rolled around for someone to give it to him. Consequently he had everything he could possibly want, except for replacement toilet seats. Dad insisted on having wooden toilet seats in his home, he thought they were better than your standard run of the mill toilet seats but after a few years they crack and can cause all kinds of damage to the user of the toilet when sitting down. My brother and I thought it was a brilliant idea to replace these rather dangerous toilet seats, we patted ourselves on the back even. Dad took one look at them, made that face and said a ‘thank you’ through gritted teeth. Had my brother and I been younger this would have turned into a story that would be repeated each Father’s Day, everyone would laugh at our naivete and that would be it. Because we were adults (though not yet parents) the poor choice of a gift never transformed into a funny story. Apparently it was just too painful for my father to recount.
So while there is really no bad Father’s Day gift I don’t recommend wooden toilet seats, even if desperately needed, as a gift for your man on Father’s Day. I do recommend the following because a couple of dads I talked to said these would be way cool gifts to receive.
*Note: This list of gift suggestions is intended for the wives or significant others of dads, this is not a list for kids. The post won’t read creepy if you keep that in mind.
1. Flat Screen TV
This needs no explanation, there isn’t a man alive who wouldn’t love to get a flat screen TV for Father’s Day even if he already has three. The garage is probably in need of an upgrade.
2. Power Tools
Most guys would be really happy with power tools though some might prefer to choose the ones they need, they might also have a brand preference. A gift card works nicely but it isn’t a big deal if you purchase the wrong power tool, it gives them a chance to spend a day at Home Depot which is kinda like shoe shopping to them. You can’t go wrong with power tools.
3. Beer
While a six pack would be appreciated and used right away (it is on a Sunday) even better would be a beer making kit. Most guys dream of making their own beer, sharing it with their buddies and if it’s really good, or even not so good, they have dreams of starting their own micro brewery in the garage. If the beer kit comes from the wife that’s a green light to turning the garage into a brewery. Which is pretty much like turning the garage into Heaven.
4. Lingerie
No, this isn’t for the cross dressers, though I am sure it would be greatly received by them, this is lingerie for you to wear for him. This is really a great gift if the woman goes the distance, she gets a new nightie and he gets a little promise of fun. It’s a win-win.
5. The Free Pass
Kinda like a Get Out Of Jail Card, this gift gives the man a pass when he does something incredibly stupid like forgets your birthday or wedding anniversary, mentions those pants look a little snug or insults your mother. The Free Pass is only good for one stupid action so it should be used wisely.
These are just a few suggestions, please feel free to add your own and if you know of any gift that is a bad idea I would love to hear about it.
Thanks for the head's up on the wooden toilet seats. My dad is in heaven, so I don't have to worry about this holiday. I wonder if they have wooden toilet seats in heaven?
I heard somewhere that the toilet seats were made of gold, however, it it's
heaven there shouldn't be a need for toilets.
Good point! Man, that's even more incentive to get into heaven. I bet in hell you have to go to the bathroom ALL THE TIME.
I bet in hell you also have your period all the time and you can never find condoms when you need them.
And all they have are filthy port-o-potties and they're always out of toilet paper.
And they are out of the hand sanitizer.
No tampons just those horrible pads that affix to a belt.
OH GROSS NOT THE BELT!
And the only book in hell is The Notebook.
Well, clearly that's what you'd have to use for toilet paper.
LMAO!
And, to cap it off the toilet would have NO DOOR. In fact it would have no walls either. Just so EVERYONE can see if you fold or scrunch.
Ooh, that does sound like hell.
And, there would be no fan in the bathroom, it would just smell really bad
all the time.
And JD would have to use suppositories every day, for eternity.
That would be hell…for JD, and the rest of us because she would not use
them quietly I am sure.
Ha ha ha! As it is hell, there would be many sinners using them. Oh, the noise!
There is no such thing as a perfect father's day gift because no matter what you get it's been bought with using a charge card and he's going to have to pay the friggin' thing off anyway.
Oh, honey..you got me a 60″ $4000 flat screen?!?!?
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!?!
Maybe, but I bet you wouldn't return it.
How about two season tickets to his favorite sports team's games. He can go with a buddy, have a damn good time, and you get the day to yourself. Win-win all around.
As always, you are brilliant!
I heard on the radio today that most guys don't even remember what you got them. I imagine that's not the case with your dad, lol! So at least it was memorable…
It was certainly memorable, maybe if he had lived another ten years he could have joked about it?
I don't remember most of the gifts either.
I am going to leave the house all day Sunday so my husband can spend quality time with his kids!
I joke, I joke.
I think I'm going to give him a new driveamajig for his PS3 so he can play it again. Only I don't know what it is or where to buy it so really I'll just tell him, hey, you can order that thing.
The boys are making him a cake and office decorations.
Office decorations, how cute! I forgot all about thingamajigs for video games, that's a great gift.
We goats don't worry about these things. As long as my studmuffin has his hay and grain and a tango now and then he is a happy boy.
I'm pretty sure that applies to all men.
I suppose you are right!
Running out of power tools to get him, flat screen not in this year's budget. Damn, I wish I hadn't bought a case of beer last week. Does that mean I HAVE to go buy lingerie????
Thank you.
There is always the pass but I've never heard you say he does anything stupid so you might be forced to buy yourself some lingerie.
Thank you. I needed something. My husband is the buy it himself kind of guy, too. It is very, very rare that I find something he loves that he doesn't have. I might go with the lingerie.
He is a prime candidate for wooden toilet seats, don't fall for it, walk
away from the toilet seats no matter how practical they seem.
You AND your brother gave your dad a toilet seat? I don't even know what to say about that. That's the weirdest gift ever. EVER.
I'm at a loss about the toilet seats too. I'm playing it safe this year with a book. And no, it won't be a book about anything toilet related.
I think I reverted to books after the toilet seat episode, they were much safer.
Two toilet seats. And my brother would have eventually installed them.
Why is it so weird? Really, I'd like to understand why he was so mad about the whole.
I would have thought the wooden toilet seats would have been a hit. It showed you guys knew him well, knew his likes and dislikes and cared enough to get something you knew he needed. Maybe he had recently gotten a splinter from one and was crabby that day.
Did you see “the Middle” episode where the mom got junk from a drug store but the dad on father's day got a piece of floor from the original court of his very favorite basketball team – she had to meet someone in a dark alley at a certain time/place and sneak in etc etc… she went ALL OUT… but she got a foot bath from Rite Aid LOL. But I do have to say, my dad was the BOMB at giving gifts. But he WAS hard to shop for sometimes. If he needed something, he got it just like your Dad.
I don't know why my dad was so mad about it, and he was mad. They weren't cheap either.
I didn't see that show but I know just how that kind of thing goes.
No wooden toilet seats. Check.
I went with the self-serving power tool. He is happy and so am I -when I see it and him in action around the house with it (oh and if he wears his tool belt, it's an extra win for me …and for him I guess. It is father's day after all).
A man in a tool belt is hot! A man in a tool belt using the tools to fix something that is broken is even hotter.
Oh, my dad was very easy to please. He could never receive too much baccy (rolling tobacco) and was grateful for any little present we would buy him. It hasn't been something I've had to do for many years now though.
What a nice memory!
The lingerie would be more for women who want to make their guys fathers.
One fathers day I was at my aunt and uncles house. We were sitting out back by the pool and their daughter had just given her hubby a baby book for fathers day. Since they had been trying for years to get pregnant it was really exciting. He got up and jumped in the pool. I always think about that on fathers day, it was really cool. My dad never asked for anything. I used to bake him chocolate chip cookies and leave them on his dresser when I was a kid.
The chocolate chip cookies are sweet.
I think the lingerie thing would only work that way for the first kid, after
that there is no way a mom is going to do that just because it's a holiday.
I was thinking more on the lines of couples whose kids have grown and who
are probably fixed so they don't have to start all over again.
Choco chip cookies are a great idea that most dads would love. It's a thoughtful gift. And tasty.
Now Jen, ties are good. Even if they don't wear a tie, ties are good. Hermes ties are actually something I would consider wearing myself!
Ties are good, I think before the toilet seat fiasco I always gave a tie to my dad. Does anyone wear a tie anymore?
Certainly not for every man, but give a box of fine cigars – and permission to smoke them at will – and that man will be yours for life. Notice the look on his face when he opens them. Priceless.
It would be the permission that would melt any mans heart.
Tomorrow is Father's Day and I am hoping to receive at least one of ALL your suggestions. A man is allowed to dream. I would definitely need a couple of those free passes.
The only good thing about a dead dad is not having to figure out Father's Day gifts!
I gave my dad a card and he was thrilled!
Thanks for information, I'll always keep updated here!
[…] “While a six pack would be appreciated and used right away (it is on a Sunday) even better would be a beer making kit. Most guys dream of making their own beer, sharing it with their buddies and if it’s really good, or even not so good, they have dreams of starting their own micro brewery in the garage. If the beer kit comes from the wife that’s a green light to turning the garage into a brewery. Which is pretty much like turning the garage into Heaven.” ~ Top 5 Best Father Day Gifts…Ever. […]
[…] turning the garage into a brewery. Which is pretty much like turning the garage into Heaven.” ~ Top 5 Best Father Day Gifts…Ever.Mr. Beer Premium Gold Edition Home Brew Kit is Amazon’s bestselling beer making kit.Card […]
[…] “While a six pack would be appreciated and used right away (it is on a Sunday) even better would be a beer making kit. Most guys dream of making their own beer, sharing it with their buddies and if it’s really good, or even not so good, they have dreams of starting their own micro brewery in the garage. If the beer kit comes from the wife that’s a green light to turning the garage into a brewery. Which is pretty much like turning the garage into Heaven.” ~ Top 5 Best Father Day Gifts…Ever. […]