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I am one of those parents who say Because I said so, I say it a lot. I say it more than I thought I ever would which is a lot because when I was young I promised myself that I would never be one of those mothers who said it.

Of course I was stupid and childless at the time.

I say Because I said so not because I am power hungry and want to exert my authority,  I say it because words fail me when I have to repeat the same reason over and over. I can’t usually articulate myself in the moment but I have a few minutes here so here are the reasons why I say Because I said so.

Because I don’t feel like cleaning up paints and clay at 9:30pm.

Because the recycling man comes at 7:30am, and I’d rather do my nagging on Thursday night than Friday morning.

Because, God Dammit, Christmas doesn’t officially start until after Thanksgiving!

Because I spent the whole fucking weekend putting the house back together and you did that in less than five minutes.

Because the cat really doesn’t enjoy being carried all day long.

Because techno dance music does not lull me to sleep.

Because the dog is hungry and he’s bugging me, and because he’s your dog.

Because we cannot live on a diet of Oreos and cheese popcorn.

Because I just spent a fortune straightening those teeth.

Because you smell.

Because I said so!

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