I talk to myself a lot. I also think out loud. Normally this isn’t a problem because I work from home and no one is around to hear me except the cat and the dog. When I have to make an important phone call I often practice the conversation. I consider what the other person would say so that I could have a response ready. I used to do this little exercise in my head but I have noticed lately that I am actually speaking the conversation out loud. I have even noticed that I don’t give them much air time. Even in  my practices I manage to hog the conversation. More often than not I speak the post I am thinking of writing before I sit down and bang it out on the keyboard. I hope I am not the only one who does this.

If I am in my home this is not a problem. The problem is that more often than not I catch myself as I am walking to the car or grocery shopping having conversations with myself. Several times I have commented to myself, out loud of course, that I have turned into one of those people you occasionally see on the street talking to no one. The people who usually live in a group home somewhere or on the street. I have also considered purchasing a BlueTooth headset so that I don’t look so silly or crazy. I have tried to hold my phone to my ear while having these practice conversations but usually they start spontaneously and I am talking long before I get the chance to get the phone to my ear. Putting the phone to my ear ultimately confuses me since I know I am not talking to someone. And, I worry that while I am holding the phone to my ear, pretending to talk to someone so I don’t look crazy,  the phone might actually ring. I don’t know how I would explain that but I am sure I would talk it out.

The reason I tell you this is because today I went to Office Max to get some office supplies. I picked out what I needed and brought them to the counter to have them rung up. The cashier, or team member, was a young man with piercings all over his face. He was also very tall. I purchased some card stock that was packaged in a cardboard envelope. The corner of all the packages of card stock had been crushed. I asked if I could open the package to make sure the card stock was not crushed as well since it would then have a difficult time going through my printer. He said no, not until I purchased it.

I didn’t get into it with him but I was a little irritated. I was also not properly dressed to have an argument with a team member. I had been preparing food for the big game and noticed, as I got out of my car at Office Max, that I had BBQ sauce all over the front of my shirt.

I let it go.

He scanned my two items as I swiped my card in the terminal. I thought to myself, as I always do when I have to swipe my card in the terminal, that there are very few things cashiers do anymore. In most grocery stores we have to bag our own items after running our cards ourselves. Cashiers used to do things like help you find things, answer your questions, ring up your purchase and bag your items. Now they just stand there to make sure the transaction is complete.

As I was thinking these thoughts the receipt printed and was spit out of the cash register. The receipt was right in front of me but I still think of the handing over of the receipt as the cashiers job. In fact I believe so strongly that this is their job I fear if I had grabbed it I would have been reprimanded, and rightfully so.

I stood there waiting for him to hand me my receipt but he didn’t. For a short moment we both stood there waiting for the other one to make a move.

Eventually he told me that I could grab my receipt.

“Don’t you do anything anymore?” I said not realizing I had actually said it.

“I suppose I could but you’re closer to it.” He said like a typical male teenager.

I grabbed my receipt and started walking away.

“I don’t know what the hell they pay you for. You’d think you could tear off one little receipt but I guess I can’t complain since you did bag my stuff for me, though you asked me if I needed a bag…” my little commentary went on but I was long out of the store by then.

Please tell me I am not the only one who does this.


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