Jennifer Aniston Allure Magazine

Michael Thompson for Allure

I was going to write my annual Bitch About The Cold post but that has been done before and really nothing has changed. Except, I made it 14 more days before I started bitching publicly this year.

Before we get into today’s rant let me just say that I have always been and will remain on Team Jen. I have an ex husband who cheated, and then lied about the cheating so I know what it’s like to in Jen’s shoes with regard to Brad and that bitch Angie. As far as I am concerned Jen will forever get a pass from me because of the crap she endured from someone who professed to love her.

However after reading that Jen never liked her Rachel Haircut I have to say I am a little shocked. Not that she didn’t like the haircut, it was kinda ugly in hindsight and it made her look chubby, but that she is going public with the announcement. I know she has a movie coming out and she needs to stir up some kind of controversy and as far as I know no one has dumped her recently and she isn’t pregnant nor has she gone to Malawi to adopt a starving child so really what is left but to bite the hand that fed her $1 million per episode?

She does say some nice things about George Clooney which is nice since he is best friends with her ex husband and we all know they tend to get lumped together sometimes.

Jen needs to do something to get a little attention. It isn’t enough that she looks fabulous at 40 plus years of age. It isn’t enough that even though she hasn’t made a decent movie in years she is still one of the highest paid actresses around. She needs to stand out amongst women who are adopting babies by the litter and women who are  taking anorexia to a whole new level of chic. If Jen started wearing leg warmers again clothing sales in the leg warmer industry would sky rocket.

She has rode the dating machine to death so maybe it’s time Jen got married again or got herself knocked up. I’m not sure who she could date since she has dated every man in Hollywood but maybe she should find some farmer in Idaho or something and make him a star.

How did this get so off track? I really was talking about hair, it was not my intention to give Jen advice to boost her popularity or promote her new movie which I won’t bother seeing until it’s on basic cable.

The Hair.

Jen has great hair, she could cut it with a pair of nail clippers and start a trend. People have been wearing their hair straight like hers for the past decade and honestly I am tired of that. Let the curls flow Jen, we know you have them, let them free.

And maybe button up that shirt, most of us don’t look like you.

Enhanced by Zemanta