Today is Kick a Ginger Day. Did anyone else get the memo? I think I am staying inside. I’ve been kicked enough recently.
Yesterday was my daughter’s school’s annual Thanksgiving lunch for parents and students. I missed the memo on this as it was sent home while my daughter was home with H1N1. I might have actually gotten the note but I rarely read them. If there is something really important the school will send out automated calls and another note will come home with the child.
Because of the H1N1 and all the time daughter was home sick I have gotten behind on a lot of work, as did she. We were still making up the assignments she had missed while sick. When I had the parent/teacher conference last week I was given a packet of her missed homework assignments. 12 worksheets, all math.We’d been working on them each night in addition to her current homework. Something you all know I don’t appreciate at this age. Homework for first graders is really just homework for the parent. I graduated, I don’t have to do homework anymore. I’m a little resentful about the whole thing.
I have to back up a bit here. When I met with my daughter’s teacher last week she mentioned that my daughter was sometimes a challenge. I already knew this but was curious to hear her side of things. Apparently my daughter decided to inject a little humor into the class picture by sticking her tongue out when the photo was snapped.
There were no retakes.
When the teacher told me this I laughed.
BECAUSE IT WAS FUNNY.
The teacher didn’t think so.
“We have to live with this picture for eternity” was how she responded to my daughter when it happened, and to me when when I laughed.
Let me just say here that I like this teacher (in case my daughter has told her about my blog) and she is a good teacher as well. She is able to get my daughter to focus on the task at hand and my daughter enjoys her class.
I might not have much of a sense of humor if I had to teach 30 first graders either. I can cut her a break for not seeing the humor in the picture/tongue incident.
Getting back to the Thanksgiving lunch. I had not gotten the memo, and daughter didn’t mention it before school. At about 10:30 I got a call from my cousin whose youngest child happens to go to the same school. The kids used to be in the same class (both redheads I might add) but they were separated this year and are in different classes. My cousin asked if I was going to the luncheon. I told her I didn’t know about it and she gave me the skinny on it. I quickly dropped everything I was working on, showered, dressed and ran over to the school to have lunch with my daughter who was not expecting me. She was thrilled I was there, which made the whole thing more than worthwhile.
As we were finishing up and clearing our trays the teacher stopped to talk to me. She mentioned that I had not gotten the homework in yet. She did give me credit for the one work sheet I had sent with the daughter to hand in but gave me that look of disappointment for the other 11 I had not handed in yet. I mentioned that I had been swamped lately, often working until 11pm or later and that the homework would get made up soon.
“Just bring them in and I will do them with your daughter” She said.
Them are fightin’ words.
Under no circumstance will I admit to anyone (except you people here) that I do not have my parenting responsibilities under control.
The teacher did not know I was PMSing, that I had just dropped everything to be there, that I was under serious pressure from work and did not understand that I had just endured 45 minutes in a crowded lunch room filled with happy moms and dads, all wearing wedding rings, happily enjoying family time at school, and looking remarkably rested while I, the only single mom in the room it seemed, was wondering if I had put on deodorant, and if that was the reason no one else wanted to sit with us.
That teacher doesn’t know how close she came to a smack down right there in the middle of the cafeteria. Luckily for her I suffer from, among other things, Minnesota Nice and smack downs are not allowed.
But it was close.
I got the homework completed last night around 10:30. If my daughter is a bit tired, maybe a little cranky, and sticks her tongue out I hope the teacher can see the humor in it.
Today might be Kick a Ginger day but yesterday sure felt like it.
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To one of my favorite ginger’s,
When you stop with the MN Nice bullshit, you’ll feel much better. It’s quite liberating.
Why is it that teachers are never understanding that we do the best we can?
.-= Lee the Hot Flash Queen´s last blog ..My Three Proposals =-.
I don’t blame you daughter one bit, if I had that much make-up and homework, I’d stick out my tongue too.
.-= MadMadMargo´s last blog ..Things Are Tough All Over =-.
Hopefully your daughter’s teacher is sending home homework that your daughter should be able to do on her own. AND the general rule for homework for any grade is 10 minutes multiplied by the grade level. (1st grade x 10 minutes = 10 minutes of homework per night.)
Teachers DO understand that parents are doing the best that they can. What parents don’t understand that not only do they have the 30 kids in their class to deal with, but also the 60 or more parents that go with those children.
My first grader gets a ton of homework too. And most of it is parent/child interactive homework. I have found that teachers don’t respect working mothers very much (especially in my town). I find it odd considering they all work. They expect moms to be available at the drop of a hat and get snippy when they aren’t.
She stuck her tongue out? Big deal! Every year in high school when the senior class did their group picture, there was always an extra take (or maybe more). And it was fun to get to sneak a peek at the rejected shots, where there were always several students circled because they had flipped the camera the bird!
And is it just me, or does 12 worksheets of homework (for ONE subject) seem a little excessive? She’s in FIRST GRADE! How long was she out with H1N1? I’m sure you’re doing a great job. At least you CARE! Too many parents don’t even know what their kids have for homework, much less care enough to make sure it gets done (and heaven forbid HELP them with it!).
.-= Surfie´s last blog ..Soap Magic – The Dispenser for Morons! =-.
Becky: Thank you, I should do away with the MN Nice but it’s in my blood. I come from a many generations of Minnesotans who have been stuffing their anger and aggression inward all for the sake of being polite.
Lee: I don’t know if that is the case completely but it sure seems that way. I don’t have time to do so many things, I make homework a priority but first graders can’t do it themselves when they can’t read and write yet. She’s almost reading on her own but still needs help. That takes time on my part, sometimes I have to choose between earning money to feed everyone and doing first grade homework and it irritates me.
Margo: What is worse is that the teacher made her admit that she did it to be mean. My kid isn’t mean. She tries to be funny, and ends up disrupting things, but she isn’t mean spirited, and the teacher should know that.
Amy: No the teacher is not sending homework home that my daughter can do alone. She can’t read yet, some words she still has trouble with and the directions on the homework confuse me (and I have a firm grasp of the language) so I imagine to a child they are nearly impossible. At the beginning of the year the teacher told us there would be 30 minutes of homework each night that the parents were supposed to assist with. There are no parents here, just me, the parent. If I could tag team this project I might not be so behind in homework. I also have a junior in high school, who thankfully can do his homework unassisted but he needs attention too. I am not one of those parents who calls the teacher and complains. I do not send notes excusing my child for things she did not do. My child does not have some form of ADD or ADHD or some other disability which my child’s teacher needs to spend extra attention on. My child was out of school for 12 days which meant I was out of work for 12 days. We got a little behind. It’s first grade, not college or graduate school.
Anne: Tell me about it. This is why I rushed to the lunch. I already get flack for not volunteering enough at the school, okay, I don’t at all but I think about it and feel guilty I don’t. What I forgot to mention in the post is that this week my neighbor has been sick, her granddaughter who goes to the same school has been coming to our house before and after school (instead of her grandma’s) so her grandmother can get some rest. I love being able to help out other moms when I can and I do. I’m that mom who works from home so I am the keymaster and the place kids know they can go if they get locked out or anything else happens. But it makes for a full house sometimes. I lost my train of thought. But thanks sister, we’ll row this boat together.
Surfie: The thing about the tongue incident is that in a few years it will be that tongue sticking out that makes everyone smile. She will have a story, or not, this is really a forgettable event. When did people start taking everything so seriously?
She was out for 12 days so one worksheet for each day.
See that’s why I’m not a mom and definitely not MN-or-any-other-state-nice either. Because when that teacher said to give the homework sheets to her and she’d do them with your daughter I would have been all “Damn right, bitch. Here you go. ‘Cause that’s what you get paid for!” And homework for first graders is total bullshit! Let a kid be a kid for a damn while.
Very well-written post and an enjoyable read. – Jayne
.-= Jayne´s last blog ..injaynesworld we are "Cruisin’ With The Top Down…" =-.
Gotta love 1st grade homework. When my son missed 5 days due to strep, we were sent home all the homework assignments PLUS all the classwork. It was 23 pages. We did 2 the first night and I sent a note telling the teacher we would work on the rest over the weekend and “I’m assuming this is acceptable.” She said it would be fine. We spent all weekend trying to catch that sh!t up.
Jayne: You are fired up today! Too bad you weren’t at the luncheon with us. That would have been fun.
Rachele: Nothing like instilling panic in both child and parent. I didn’t get homework until 3rd grade. From first grade to through 2nd I read every night. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. And my brother, who was older, had homework and I wanted to be like him.
OMG! I love the tongue sticking out on the class photo. Sounds like something you would do. Why couldn’t the teacher laugh ‘with her’ about it, instead of shaming her? I think that’s wrong.
Erm, seems to me the teacher needs a kid or two of her own so that she can empathize with some of her parents.
That or she needs a life outside of school.
Want Abby? She’ll butt her.
BWAHAHA!! I would have laughed, too! You’ve got quite the daughter! Who knows, maybe she’ll be a GREAT blogger someday! 😉
I think 30 minutes of homework every night for a 1st grader is too much! If the teacher had time to go over the homework in class with your daughter then why did she send so much work home? Sounds wrong!
YOU CRACK ME UP. We could be related… check out one of my old posts:
I laughed SO HARD when I read your daughter stuck her tongue out. I would have snorted, cried and yes, PEED IN MY PANTS when i was told that particular bit of information. Then when the pictures arrived, I would buy some for everyone in the family and frame a huge one over the fireplace. Your daughter ROCKS. Maybe one day she and Michael can get together when they are older… goodness can you IMAGINE their offspring! LOL
Why don’t teachers understand that the little girl sticking out her tongue today, is tomorrow’s kick-ass woman! They just want well-behaved and easy. That is not what changes the world…
Your daughter sounds wonderful!
Wow! The teacher actually yelled at you for not getting your homework done! Bwahaha! I think you should have stuck out your tongue at her! Besides, having make up homework for a first grader who was sick is just wrong! In fact I think it’s wrong for first graders to have homework in the first place… they should be out playing!
Lola: I know many teachers who would have laughed it off and I don’t know why another picture couldn’t have been taken unless they didn’t notice it until after the picture was developed or downloaded. I would have never done something as sinful as stick my tongue out. Never!
Pricilla: Send Abby on over. We haven’t had any snow yet so I have a backyard full of grass for her.
Crabby Blogging Lady: She desperately wants to start a blog and as soon as she can read and write without my help she is welcome to blog away. The blog would be all about her dog and the cat and it would be filled with pictures of her stuffed animals. She does have a sense of humor like her mother (obviously) so I’m sure it would be funny, at least to me.
Buggys: I don’t think kids that age should have homework. I think they need to be kids for a little longer. I’m okay with reading stuff, we read stories every night, but we do that because she likes to read which is how I want it to be.
Katherine: My son did that very thing, also catholic school. We have many pictures like that. It was right around the time The Sixth Sense came out and of course I let him see it. He knew drawing the pictures would get attention, not the kind I wanted him to get but it worked for him. I had forgotten about those days.
Maureen: Here is to kick-ass women! My daughter is certainly not easy, but she has a good heart and I love that she is her own person.
CatLadyLarew: She didn’t yell at me she just looked at me the way teachers can without ever saying a word that makes students feel small. I think that would be the shame Lola was referring to. I do have an example to set so sticking out my tongue wouldn’t have helped the situation but the school year is far from over so who knows what will happen.
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It was hard enough raising one child alone, I can’t imagine how I would have coped with two. I would have let the teacher help.
I had to cheer for your daughter. I have one like that. Then I have Nove, with autism and believe me, when the teachers send home homework and expect me to help her, I want to tell them to shove it. She barely speaks to us at home some days, let alone talks enough to tell us what she knows or if she knows how to do her homework!
I’m a single mom and I don’t get nearly any of what I’m supposed to get done, done. I feel like sticking my tongue out!
Today must be Jenn/Jen day. Rock on, one of the all time coolest names! Just sayin’
Jen: I couldn’t let the teacher win. And that is exactly what it felt like when she offered to do my daughter’s homework with her. If I had let her do that I would have been admitting that I can’t handle it. Often times I can’t but we will get through it, I don’t need the teachers help. I need a vacation, I need a man, I need a lot of things but I can do my daughter’s homework with her.
Jenn: I shouldn’t even complain. You have your hands full and bless you for it. I hope you do stick your tongue out at the teachers. In fact I think I may do just that for you.
[…] I litterally just found like, last night. Or maybe the night before, my hours run together. Anyway, she’s so like me, with her red hair and smart mouth and a daughter that sticks her tongue out at picture time. This […]