Happy Valentine’s Day

It’s that time of year again. Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and the people at the Vermont Teddy Bear Co have come up with another brilliant ad campaign. It’s called Size Matters and the idea is if you buy your sweetheart a huge teddy bear you will get some.

Of course to cover all bases the hapless men are encouraged to pair the Hunka Love Bear with the Hoodie Footie, a product by their sister company Pajamagram.

Size Matters But A Huge Teddy Bear Will Not Get You Laid

Now maybe I’m old and out of touch with what 20 something vapid blonds want, but if a man brought me a 4 1/2 foot bear for Valentine’s Day, or any other holiday, he would not be rewarded with sex – in fact I would have to end it.

Where the hell do you put a stuffed bear that big? It’s not like you can put it on your bed or in the book shelf. A 4 1/2 foot bear needs its own room and most 20 something don’t have the extra space.

Let me tell you something boys, size does matter – but not with teddy bears. If you want to get laid get go ahead and get her a huge ass bear or better yet get her chocolate and take her out to eat at a nice restaurant and then listen to what she has to say.

Really listen.

Tell her she looks beautiful, and then fix something for her. I guarantee you will get some.

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