Maybe it’s the heat.
Maybe it’s the humidity.
Maybe it’s just this.
These are not my dishes. The sink was empty, I swear, five minutes ago when I unloaded the dishwasher.
I don’t know what it is but I have been rethinking this whole motherhood thing.
When I got myself into this mess I really thought it was going to be a lot of fun, filled with Kodak moments and sitting around by the fireplace while the kids played at my feet.
Really, I did. I was that stupid.
I don’t even have a fireplace.
I don’t want to be a mother anymore.
There I said it. And for the moment I don’t regret it. Not one little bit.
The summer is too long. It should have ended last week.
Everyone needs to get the hell out of my house and leave me alone.
I haven’t been able to write anything even close to halfway decent because every five minutes someone wants my attention. I don’t even know what they want anymore, I stopped listening, and caring, a few weeks ago.
If I have to tell a certain someone to put the damn cat down one more time my head is going to explode.
I don’t care what she said and I don’t want to hear anyone telling on anyone else.
DO NOT start a sentence with Can I…? because the answer will be no.
If you want me to buy you something, go get a job, there are plenty of sweat shops where a seven year old can work.
Or, let me work so I can earn some so I can buy another stupid Webkinz that gets forgotten after three minutes.
I have had to hide in the garage to carry on a phone conversation for more than 30 seconds, and they still find me!
Did I mention I work from home? I know I have, I know I say it all day long.
Mom has to work. I actually say this in the third person, like it makes a difference and that Mom might be someone more important than me. Someone worthy of having a phone conversation without a bazillion different interruptions and PUT DOWN THE DAMN CAT NOW!s.
Of course, it might not just be motherhood. It might also be this.
This is what I stumbled over getting out of the shower this morning. Apparently it started to thunder while I was taking a shower.
A shower is not a sure thing for me. If I don’t get in the shower before 9 am it isn’t going to happen and God help anyone who knocks on my door or wants to meet with me to discuss business.
If I’m not telling someone to put the cat down I am telling the scaredy dog that he needs to stop following me. And that doesn’t mean to hide under my desk getting tangled in the keyboard and mouse cords. Even though that is exactly what it means to him.
Why won’t anyone listen to me?
And who the hell messed with my camera putting on some high resolution bullshit so everything looks just wrong?
I can’t even find the right words anymore.
This is what I have to deal with, and I am not dealing very well.
I need a stiff drink and new pair of completely impractical shoes.
Only 43,232 minutes (give or take a few) until school starts.