We went to the Como Zoo on Good Friday. Our plan was to go to the Minnesota Zoo and meet my friend and her two kids there. About a mile from the zoo I got a call on my cell phone from my friend.

“It’s a fucking zoo out here” she yelled over the screaming of her kids in the back seat.

Apparently we weren’t the only ones who thought it would be a good idea to get the kids out into the fresh air on a day off of school. Everyone and their brother was out at the zoo. We turned the cars around and headed back to the old city zoo. The free zoo where the animals are all depressed.

The city zoo was a madhouse too. There were so many people there it was crazy. But it was free and the kids needed to get out so we persevered through the crowds of teenagers and snot nosed kids.

Zoo Attire

It was warm for Minnesota, around 50 degrees. It was also sunny but there was a bit of a breeze which made it feel colder. A light jacket was necessary. I don’t know who raised the kids who were visiting the zoo that day but obviously they cared little about how their children dressed. We have a huge welfare population out here who get free health care and it is obvious they rely on it since most of the kids were walking around in shorts and flip flops.

I was making snarky comments to my friend about mothers who let their kids outside wearing clothing more suited to July. I asked her where are these mothers? I expected my friend, who is just as sarcastic as me, to reply something along the lines that the mothers were too busy doing crack to worry about practical footwear for their children. Instead she just pointed to a woman, a mother, who was dressed in high heels, a skirt that could only be sold as lingerie and wearing a leopard coat. Her tramp stamps were visible through the mesh of her skirt. Her many children were sporting similar attire. I don’t think the woman was thinking irony when she chose her leopard fur coat for the days activities.

Monkey See

Sadly there were many women, mothers obviously by the children that were hanging around them, dressed like this. The teens who were hanging out at the zoo, teasing the monkeys, were dressed like gang members. The girls that is. Do these people think this is an attractive look? Seriously? My kid dresses funny, he wears big pants and gothic t-shirts. He has colored his hair. However, he nor his friends, slick back their hair, wear lip liner or wear suggestive t-shirts that say “I swallow” on them.

I wanted to grab some of these young ladies and wipe the make-up off their faces and then lecture them on bad reputations. I probably would have been arrested if I had but the desire to was incredibly strong.

Monkey Do

As we were leaving a child was having a fit. The mother who was tired from walking around the rough terrain in five inch FM pumps grabbed her child by the arm and gave her the last warning.

Tiffini, if you don’t behave right this minute there will be no bowling tonight,” she said as she dragged bratty little Tiffini off to the car.

My daughter looked at me and said very sarcastically, “I don’t think Tiffini is going to go bowling tonight”.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

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