The Hannah Montana cast of season one. (left t...
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Or Why I Hate Miley Cyrus and her alter ego Hannah Montana

I have a seven year old daughter who watches the Disney Channel.  Hannah Montana owns the Disney Channel. If her show isn’t on they are airing a commercial for her show, or for her movie, which plays all the time.

I don’t mind the show, it’s harmless enough. Now that Billy Ray has gotten rid of that horrible hair of his, I can watch it without gagging quite so much. He still needs to shave off his soul patch.

Billy Ray Cyrus
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I’m not sure what kind of message he is trying to send with that little bit of eww but it needs to go.

I don’t mind the show, I don’t have to watch it but I do have to listen to it. More specifically I have to listen to the video for Ordinary Girl every 15 minutes because Disney thinks seven year old little girls have the memory of a goldfish and must remind them often of Hannah Montana’s awesomeness.

I can’t embed the video, and that just makes me hate her even more. Sorry, if you want to see it (you don’t, trust me) you can go here.

Miley Cyrus is not an ordinary girl. On so many levels she is not, and never will be, an ordinary girl.

I’m just an ordinary Girl
Sometimes I’m Lazy, I get bored.
I get scared, I feel ignored
I feel happy, I get silly
I choke on my own words
I make wishes, I have dreams
And I still want to believe
Anything can happen in this world
for an Ordinary Girl
like you, like me
for an Ordinary Girl
like you like me

First of all she is the daughter of Mr. Achy Breaky Heart (I really wish I could embed this video). That mullet has got to be a horrible thing to live down, even if it isn’t hers, she’s related to it and that can’t be easy. So I give her credit there. Secondly, she has been in the limelight since she was a toddler and she has had her own Disney show for what …the past ten years or so. It sure seems like it’s been that long. Miley is not suffering with everyone else during this recession. If she wants to fly a jet to some far away place or buy some ugly shoes that cost thousands of dollars she can do that. I don’t begrudge her her fame and fortune, good for her for finding the key to making several million before you hit 20 years of age.

But don’t tell me you are just an ordinary girl.

When Miley Cyrus has her own seven year old daughter, and she will one day, and there is some new kid on the block whose videos and songs get played every 15 minutes and she has to listen to them because if she says her brain is going to explode if she hears that crap one more time that isn’t really being a supportive, caring and understanding kind of mom, then she can join the club of ordinary girls.

I’m just an ordinary Girl
Most times I’m Frumpy, I have chores.
I am broke, I am ignored
I feel bloated, I get moody
Surrounded by these turds
I had wishes, I had dreams
But now I don’t believe
Anything can happen in this world
for an Ordinary Girl
like you, like me
for an Ordinary Girl
like you like me

Not before.

Karma baby, it’s a bitch.

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