My kids got Wii Fit for Christmas. Yes, I managed to find one and the guy who sold it to me is probably still wiping off the spit from my kisses.

For those of you who don’t have Wii Fit it is a video game where you have to move to win, or at least make an ass out of yourself. You start with your Mii. A Mii is the avatar that you create when you get your Wii. You can choose hair and eyes and all sorts of different characteristics. I made my Mii two years ago when we got the Wii and haven’t looked at it since.

So you take your Mii, mine was sexy hot, and bring it over to Wii Fit. From there you get on the balance board and it measures your BMI and weight. Once it calculates those two it adjusts your avatar to match your measurements. My Mii is now a Weeble.

I’m not sure this motivates me. I want to make my Mii hot again but lets face it I lied about it in the first place. I did look like my avatar before I became pregnant with my daughter but I’m not sure if those days aren’t behind me now.

The game itself is a hoot. There are gobs of games that are just plain fun. Hula Hoop! I can do it and even catch Hula Hoops as I am hooping but I am sure I look absolutely ridiculous Hula Hooping without a Hula Hoop.

There is also the slalom skiing game. I don’t ski. I tried it once but it was a disaster. I apparently don’t ski much better in Wii land. When my avatar gets to the bottom of the hill she slumps over in the “loser” pose and shakes her head from side to side. I don’t even rank and there are no other ranked players yet.

I do very well on the step aerobics however. It took hours in front of the game when everyone else was sleeping to learn the steps and it has paid off. I hold the high score and I have managed to develop a sense of rhythm even though I dance like the Peanuts.

There is no lying to the Wii balance board. It knows all, the little bastard. In the beginning it has you go through a series of tests to determine your real age. I’m 49 even though I am only 42. Okay, I’ll be 43 in a couple of weeks but still that’s a big difference. Of course it thinks my five year old is 25 so maybe it does know a thing or two. It checked my balance and then copped an attitude by asking me if I found myself tripping a lot. I don’t that often.

I thought I might use the Wii Fit to try to get fit. My goal was to use it first thing in the morning while everyone else was still asleep but that hasn’t happened yet. My kids hear me bouncing around and want to watch me make a fool of myself. I guess there is no better way to start your day than by watching your mother dance like a chicken with feathers flying and all.

When we brought the Wii up out of the depths of the basement and hooked it up to the living room tv I figured my daughter could play games that were safe for her to play. We have a few Mario games and some Zelda games on it. Nothing where you blow the head off of other people. The problem is she can’t read yet so she has a hard time playing most of the games. She can however make Miis. So far she has made over 50 Miis. They all have different character traits and names. She organizes them and then has a Mii parade. The problem with this is that the Miis all have birth dates and when you load Wii Fit the all seeing balance board tells you that Mimi Mii has a birthday coming up on the 01/01. Of course all of the Miis that my daughter has made have the same birth date, the default birthday of 01/01. So I have to scroll through and get rid of each reminder to move ahead in the game. She is addicted to making new Miis. It’s really kinda creepy. Son tried to hide the Mii Channel so she couldn’t make anymore but she found it and unlocked it. She can’t read but she can unlock a channel. I have so much to look forward to.

I will keep doing Wii Fit, it’s resolution time and losing weight is always at the top of the list and it’s a hell of a lot of fun even if the balance board thinks it’s all high and mighty.