Actually I have been fucked except without the benefit of an orgasm which considering I was fucked by my ex husband is really no surprise.
I hate people who lie.
For the last several months my ex has been telling me that his former employer had garnished his paycheck for the monthly child support he owes. This happened last year, causing all sorts of financial problems, but he was sincere in that it was the employer who was at fault. It took four months to get resolved. This time around he has been telling me that the wages were garnished and it was just like last year. Because of this I have not bothered to pester him (all that much) to get it resolved since presumably he already met his obligation. I was willing to wait it out as it would get resolved when it caught up with the employer. I won’t go into what the employers responsibilities and rights are but they have about 90 days from the time they are notified of a child support obligation to the time that they have to actually submit it.
Today I found out that his employer had not garnished his wages.
Which means that even though they are in a heap of trouble with the state and will be fined they don’t have any of his money that is due to me. So the 90 days means nothing. I have borrowed against this money that was due me, in desperation, so now not only do I have no money coming in I owe money on the money that is not coming in. I would not have done something so foolish as take a loan against the money if I knew it was not coming to me. But of course I was lied to.
My creditors don’t care.
I will contact the attorney I used during my divorce to see if I can sue the bastard for the $12k in arrears that he owes me. I already have a pretty good idea that yes I can sue and I will win a judgment but getting him to pay it is not likely. He’s been carrying the $12k in arrears for several years but has been making the monthly obligation for a couple of years, he just wasn’t paying any of the support that he refused to pay for the first three years we were divorced. It’s really confusing I know. The cost of the attorney which I cannot afford anyway prohibits me from going after the asshole since I already know I will not be able to collect from him.
When I learned of all of this today, after my panic attack, I went online to see about food stamps. Seriously, I am so fucked I need to get food stamps. I just spent my last $2 on milk. I never thought this day would come in my wildest dreams but after all my jobs drying up this spring and so far not even being able to find employment at the local fast food chain, it is here. Guess what? I’m not eligible for food stamps unless I have another kid and I can’t do that anymore.
I need your help.
No, I don’t want you to donate or click on anything, I don’t want ideas on how to string up the ex and disembowel him (okay, maybe I do just a little) but I do want to know if any of you are making any kind of income on the Internet and how you do it.
I know people do earn a living online but I haven’t figured out how it works and would really appreciate a hint or two. I actually contacted John Chow last week and asked him for his help. He makes gobs of money on his website and I thought he could show me how to do it with this site. I offered to document everything so that he could use it as a series or book or whatever he wanted. He politely declined. He said he had already done just that with another person and all they had to do was follow the instructions in his free ebook. Which he has already given to me. I read his book and it has a wealth of knowledge and advice that I am sure works the only problem is I don’t know what he is talking about, I don’t speak geek as well as I thought I did. I’m not knocking John Chow, he was very nice and I was thankful that he even answered my rather long winded email. I just don’t know how to do what his book says.
I’d probably understand his ebook better if I weren’t in such a panic and the phone wasn’t ringing off the hook with creditors. That of course will resolve itself next week but then I won’t be able to read the book on my computer much less do anything on my computer.
If anyone knows how to do this and can explain it to me using small English words I would be grateful. If anyone knows of any job out there I would love to hear about it. There is no job that I wouldn’t take.
I know I have opened myself up to all sorts of MLM and shit like that. If I get one link to that kind of shit I may just go postal. I’m looking for real work not some pie in the sky bullshit. I’ve already checked every single one of those scams out and I can’t afford them anyway.
If you don’t know how to do any of this could you say a little prayer?
I can't offer you any help with making money online but I can pray for help and that I will do. I've been there done that with the ex. Appeal to the state for emergency food stamps. Things are bad for us too, granted it's not just me now but still we sold all kinds of shit for half of what it was worth just to live! Give your creditors you ex's phone number. I'll keep praying.
I'm so sorry to hear of the hard time you're going through. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to make money online,but I promise I'll be praying for you and yours!
RedKathy, thank you and I love the idea of giving my ex's phone number to my creditors.
thinkinfyou, thank you I appreciate that so much.
I just started writing for http://www.demandstudios.com. They seem legit, and it's $15 for a 400-500 word article. Not sure if it would work for you, but check it out.
I make alot of money from all of these sites every month and I'm a full time student.
I have made the most with payperpost.
Words, thanks I'll check them out.
Dr. Lauren, thanks I'll check them out too. I tried payperpost last year but never got any gigs, has it changed?
I too am making money off my blogs. If you need help with that, let me know.
Jen, I am so very sorry about everything going on. I know that does not help but I mean it. I think a lot of you. The only thing I ever made a tiny bit of money with was doing surveys. That may not help because it takes about a month to get any money, IF you get a good survey. I have a list of legit ones if you want it. Let me know.
Apply at Demand Studios as a writer and for their titling positions.
Check out http://www.contentdivas.com/employment.php They're looking for competent writers right now.
PU2Blog will pay you to post 60 word articles about a chosen keyword on your blog, but it will affect your ranking. I do this on another blog of mine.
None of them pay high amounts of money, but the trick is to have more than one egg in your basket.
If there's anything else I can do to help, email me.
Prayers, always. Good luck.
You may also want to checkout Odesk.com
I am also on Payu2blog.com but you need your own domain for that. You may want to check out SocialSpark.com
You'll be in my thoughts and if I find other opportunities for you, I'll swing by again.
Oh hunny! You know what kind of boat I'm in…I wish I could do more than send a hug, a prayer, and a cyber drink your way. 😉
Jen, I have made a bit from the payperpost and izea. Not a lot and there is a 30 day lag on payments. It's probably $300 since May. But I don't look everyday like I should, especially since the summer canning season hit.
I wish I could give you a big ole goat hug.
I am sure there is a local food bank you could utilize. I volunteer at mine and the rules are simple. It's not the greatest food but it's better than nothing.
Its my first to your blog and slowly read your entry. I am once at your shoes..
try, http://www.odesk.com and paidpost blog.. i think in a small way can stand alone..:)
I say a prayer for you..:) Good Luck!:)
ive used payperpost also. I wrote a few articles on my main blog but I get nervous about it because alot of readers dont want to see those kind of articles on your blog and they can stop coming (just an FYI). THe higher rank you are, the more opportunities you get. IT was very slow for me at the beginning, but you got to keep blogging. Your rank is probably higher then mine anyway, so you might have more opps then me.
I'm trying to get one of my other blogs up and running so I can use that for aticles to make some extra money. Maybe use your 'queer' blog for that…lol I think you were kind of stating at one point you were kinda done with it.
the more opps you take, i think the more money you can make.
either way, you know im not a computer geek..lol. so take waht i say with a grain of salt, but so far PPP has worked for me better then anything.
either way, you will be in my prayers.
Hey dear, sending you my best wishes. We are in similar straights, but we do qualify for food stamps. Unfortunately, we just discovered our cell phones got shut off this morning. GRRR!!!! If you ever need a hot meal, come over to my place and I will feed you.
I know nothing about making money online. But I wanted to ask if you had went to family services? My SIL had the same issue as you – ex not paying – so she went and they sent a check for the kids and it goes back on the father who is not paying. Or something to that effect.
Jen, I'm so sorry to read about your predicament. I can only offer BlogHer as a source of blog income. But I don't make very much. Only enough to pay for my domain and hosting and small prizes for my blog contests.
Can you check your town for free legal aid? You have to make under a certain amount to qualify. Perhaps they can help speed the process of recovering what you are owed.
Hugs and prayers,
I'm a prostitute on Criagslist.
What? You didn't specify what type of Internet business you were interested in.
Seriously, though…if I'd figured out how to make money yet I'd be having breakfast with Carrot Top by now.
I just threw up.
Good luck, though…really. Let us know how you make out.
Jen I really have no idea about generating an income on the internet. So, Im sorry about that but I did want to tell you how much I enjoy your blogs and how sorry I am that you find yourself in your present circumstance. That really sucks and I hope things turn around for you soon. Others have mentioned local legal aid. I think that's something you should look into. Local divorce support groups may be of some assistance to you in terms of courses of action as well. Best of luck girl.
Lisa, thank you for all your help.
Ettarose, Thank you, I've tried surveys but my phone rings off the hook and I get tons of junk mail and I have not figured out how they actually pay. You might have better ones than me. We'll talk.
Netta, thank you for all those suggestions, I will check them out.
Vera, thank you, I have my own domain but redirect it here. I am planning on moving and that will make all of this easier I think.
Grandy, a hug, prayer and cyber drink are just what I need. Thanks.
Pricilla, thank you, after I wrote this post the ex dropped off daughter from his visit with her. I spent about ten minutes "talking" to him and demanding to know what he was going to do about this. After telling me he couldn't do anything I told him to give me what he had in his wallet so now I have $43 for food which makes all the difference in the world right now. I'm still going after him but I don't have to go to the food shelf today. Thank you for your support it means so much and a goat hug sounds wonderful.
Glorie, I am checking out Odesk, hadn't heard of it before today.
John, I did ppp on my other blog but was never able to get the gigs because I lacked experience or PR, apparently I have pr now and have two years of posts, I too get a little nervous about ppp and the credibility of my blog. Plus I can't write very well when I am required to use keywords and such, it ruins the flow of the post.
Lorella, you are so sweet and I would love to have dinner with you. Thank you and lets get together when things are bit better and we can enjoy ourselves.
Mrs C, I have never used any of these services so everything is new to me. If I could collect what he owes me I wouldn't need the services and they could go to someone who needs them more than I do. I'd love to have my creditors go after him because they are much better at getting people to pay up. The bottom line is that he doesn't think he should have to pay child support. He's one of those guys who thinks I just party with his money and that it's just an extra for me. I don't understand people like that and he is rare, most dads are not like this.
Kathy, I am checking into legal aid as we speak, the problem, as it has been explained to me, is that since he made this agreement to pay a small portion of the arrears years ago and has been keeping up with it relatively speaking except for the last several month that there is little I can do to change that agreement. It stinks and I've got a call to a lawyer to make sure. I can't believe that this is as good as it gets.
Mooog, when I wrote that sentence I actually thought someone might construe it that way but really, no one would hire me for those kinds of jobs unless there is a big group of men looking for middle aged housewives. You crack me up, thanks for putting a smile on my face.
Dufus, thank you for your kind words. All you guys have been so great. I was really down yesterday and scared and worst felt very alone. Reading all your kind words and thoughts and suggestions has been wonderful, I can't thank you all enough for your support.
so sorry to hear your having a hard time…hope things gets better
I have no advise.
I can honestly help you! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org I have a couple things I do at home and another I have done in the past. They are all legitimate and they do NOT cost anything to start up with. You really have to be careful with the scams.
Doesn't your state garnish tax returns and suspend licenses for those that are in arrears like that? I know when my ex was off his arrears built and built.
My sons father is just a dead beat dad!
I wish I could help. I would love to know how to make money online but I never found a very good way. A few pennies here and there. Hope you find something.
I have had some luck with http://www.elance.com finding writing jobs and whatnot. It does cost a little to join per month but it could be worth looking into.
I know what it is like to not even get hired by the fast food joints… It sucks!
Hang in there and if I think of anything else to help I will let you know.
Oh girl…I am SO where you are at. I've done the exact same thing. I do get food stamps – which is a HUGE help – but still not enough. You and I are literally in the same sinking boat – but I'm not worried about my Internet right now. No, I finally got caught up on that bill. I do, however, expect the power company any day, to shut off my electricity (again).
If I had any money whatsoever – and I do mean ANY money – I would send it to you in a heartbeat. I'm down to my last $0.75 – food stamps are out until the 4th of next month, I don't get my son's disability til the 1st, blah blah. So I'm right there with you.
And I have done the same thing about borrowing – but I didn't go to a bank. No, they'd laugh in my face. I borrowed from my neighbor. She is very sweet and I'm so lucky to have her (and her sympathy for my kids) – but now I hate leaving my house. Because I haven't paid her back. And I feel awful about it. Seriously.
Sorry this is so long – but I want you to know you aren't alone. Yeah, I know – that helps loads, doesn't it? Nice to know you have someone to talk to while the boat fills with gushing water. But I do understand.
#1 – You need to take your necessity bills – power, rent/mortgage, phone – and start calling churches. They will pay your bill (once) – and if you can find several churches, you'll have a few months covered. (Don't approach them all in the same month – but have a list handy.) Good thing about churches? You'll probably also leave with some food, and maybe some decent clothes.
#2 – Call your energy company. Find out about their "personal accounts department" – they are the people who deal with the poor and sad. Find out about "budget billing" and get a list of county services that will help you pay for stuff – a lot of times those agencies will help with more than just power.
#3 – I can't remember how old your youngest child is…but if they are in elementary, middle or high school, call the school and tell them you're desperate and need help. Tell them you're looking for a list of resources to help. Swallow your pride and just do it. If nothing else, they'll start paying for your kids field trips and other things they nickle-and-dime you to death over.
#4 – Appeal the food stamp decision. You only have a limited time to do it – so do it quick. You may not get them, but you never know. And wouldn't that be awesome? (They don't make you carry paper coupons around anymore – you get a little credit card looking thingy now.)
#5 – Do you have anything to pawn?
#6 – Get a nice piece of cardboard and some bright paint. Paint "Single mom – need help to buy food" on a sign…but stay the hell off my corner.
Email me if you come up with any ideas or if you want to explore anything I've said. I've done this dance for a long time…and have some ways to get resources in your situation. It sucks…it's embarrassing…but you'll make it. I promise. xx
Oh yeah – email me anyway. I have a few other things. queenkatherineATgmailDOTcom. xx
Here I am again…collecting cans (seriously) & taking them to the recycling center (not the grocery store) will net you about $10 for 2 trash bags full. (At least it will here.)
Also, Legal Aid is good…but not a ton of help. You have to go thru Child Support Enforcement. Not the smartest unit in the universe…but at least they'll get on it.
Also, county services (social services) will give you a check for gas and a few other services if you are in the "know".
But seriously, email me. I know how you can work from home and make decent (NOT GREAT) money on your computer. xx
I don't know anything about making money from my blog–I don't even have ads on it yet.
So very sorry to hear about your struggles.
Here's to brighter days. Or at least richer ones.
I would send out a prayer for you, it's the only thing I could do right now. I am also in search of ways to earn at least a little more from my blog. I have signed up in LinkWorth, PayPerPost, SponsoredReviews, LinkFromBlog and Blogsvertise. Unfortunately, I haven't had any offers yet so I can't say yet whether it's good money or not.
Here's a prayer that we can survive this sooner than later.
I just found another site that provides writing opportunities. It's http://work-online.org.uk/ and I just signed up so I can't guarantee how it works but it sounds good. If you do sign up, here's my referral code:
WOR:1142 (that you totally don't have to use if you don't want to) 🙂
This is actually related to legal aid. Often counties have women resource centers that provide legal aid to women in your situation. The women that I know who have used them have told me they are different because they go beyond the party line of "he's making minimum payments." Since pretty much everyone they help in legal matters is a woman trying to collect support rather than representing people in a variety of legal matters like regular legal aid.
BTW what's the deal with the state fining the employer for not garnishing the pay. Anything that the employer has to pay should go straight to you since you're the one who was hosed by their stupidity.
Wishing you the best of luck in getting this resolved.
I'm AingerCompany from Twitter. I have a contact with a Kickstart invite, and can pass it on to you.
Shoot an email to info (at) skillstosuccess . com and ask for them for an invite. Tell them AIngerCompany sent you over.
Hope that brings a small amount of hope to you.
have you seen my writing?…lol. I am amazed they are still giving me opps..lol.
as for keywords, i dont find it too difficult as long as i pick the opps that i have a connection too.
oh hun I am so sorry you are being put through this. Food stamps and financial assistance are not a bad thing. Please don't think any less of yourself for doing so.. We were on gov't help untill hubby found work and it was a great blessing. After he found work.. the checks kept coming in, but I never used them.
I do a lot of paid surveys. A really good one that pays $3-$10 depending on the survey via Paypal. I use that money to donate to people in need that I come across on line. http://www.pineconeresearch.com/signup/ds552Referral1.asp to register. You will qualify for a lot of them. Opinionoutpost.com, toluna.com
Those are ones I am members of.. and they DO pay cash.
Good luck! I will keep you in my thoughts
I so feel for you! There have been plenty of times I haven't received child support and it is not only frustrating as hell but scary. I don't know how to do any of that money making online but I can say a prayer for you. Lots of them.
Hang in there.
I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time. My best source of income has been through BlogHer ads, but it takes a while to get approved, then get paid. You can put Project Wonderful ads up the same day, but they only pay a few cents per day.
Headbonks and purrs to you.
Division of Family Services, or the Social Security office. Explain the situation and bring all paperwork with you. The joy of it is, they take over from there. You get a check, and any help you may need. THEY go after him for that money. Also, they will take his income tax return at the end of the year. So, he will be paying it back, just the hard way.
They will also tell you how to apply to get medical help for the kids, and check into food stamps again.
(I used to help with a site for battered women, and learned a lot of options to help them with food, medical and such)
check this out: http://www.angelfoodministries.com/
If there's one in your area, you can save money on food.
Hi, this is my first visit to your blog, I saw you in the comments section of Junk Drawer blog. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.
I've known a few posters on my forums have worked for Live Ops taking orders/customer service type things for companies using their home phones. http://www.liveops.com/become-agent/index.html
I use adsense, Blogher and Amazon affliates to make money online, but it's not a whole lot of money.
Hey, my name is Kimberly Hall, fellow redhead. My husband found this site and thought it suited me to a tee. When I read this one I wanted to tell you if somebody hasn’t already from since I have been doing this for 14 years and maybe can give you a little advice from one exwife to another. If you have a a court order for child support after this little deal go to the Bureau for Child Support Efforcement. They can garnish he wages and if he is more than 30 days late they can contact the employer. Every 3 years you can ask for a review of your support order and you don’t even need an attorney because the child support agency will have one there for them and they can go into his tax record so he can’t hide what he makes. Mine tried that. I’ve never trusted my ex to pay on his own and this way I have somebody on my side. If I can help anymore I’ll be glad to. Kim