I’ve decided to let go and stop trying to control things that I have no way to control. Big idea, I know. I’ve been kicking myself for the last few weeks for reasons that I’m not sure even I understand but it has not been a good or healthy thing. So I have decided that I am going to just enjoy the moment, at least for now.

I was laid off a couple of months ago and this has worried me lately. In worrying about all of it I came to a few realizations which you can read about here if you are so inclined. I’ve decided that I am going to enjoy things the way they are and stop worrying about the things I can’t change.

This is a big deal for me since I have spent my life three steps ahead of the game. I had to with a gay dad and a handicapped mom. With my dad and his stuff I was always trying to head off any talk of “queer” or “fag” talk with other kids. This hasn’t been a problem in a long time but old habits die hard. With my mom I was always trying to anticipate what kind of mood she was in so I didn’t further disrupt what was already crazy. I’d think of answers to her questions and come up with all possible responses she might have. I would choose the least likely to cause trouble as far as my answer went. It’s been tiring trying to have that much control and I don’t want to do it anymore. Maybe I’m having a midlife crisis without the convertible, I don’t know for sure.

The kids are out of school and I’m out of a job so after fighting the reality for so long I have decided to just go with the flow and see where it takes me.

Today I took my daughter and her friend to the public library. Both girls were excited to go so it seemed like it would be a fun excursion. Which it was. I hadn’t been to a library since my college days so I no longer had a library card. Ex#2 takes the daughter to the library but he uses his card so she doesn’t have a card either. We both signed up for a card and then all three of us went in search of great reads.

My daughter’s friend had a summer reading list from school so she went in search of those while my daughter and I looked for a few early reading books. We found several and then went over to the lounge area to wait for her friend. I had to remind my daughter many times about using her indoor voice but really no one seemed too mind that she was excited about finding some great books, and even less upset that she was reading them herself, out loud of course.

While in the lounge area I noticed the book Make Way For Ducklings by Robert McCloskey. I loved this book as a kid and expressed as much, rather loudly, when I started to read it to my daughter. The librarian just smiled and mouthed the words “I love it too” to me. I got the message and started to read it to my daughter. My daughter balked at the book at first since it was obviously old since I had enjoyed it as a child but after a few pages she fell in love with it too. Her friend, having found all of her reading list books, soon joined us and listened intently. A few other kids gathered round to hear the tale of the eight little duckling and their parents find a home in Boston. If you haven’t read this wonderful book in a while, or have never read it make sure to stop by your local library and have a read, you won’t regret it.

After the library we stopped at Dairy Queen for lunch. I promised the kids ice cream if they ate real food. I now realize that DQ does not serve real food but it has been so long since I had been to a Dairy Queen that I had forgotten. We ordered our ice cream and went outside to eat.

We’ve had some really unseasonable cold her for the past week. It’s been at least 20 degrees colder than it should be. We’ve had 50 degree weather and I hate to admit it but I had the heat on, for only ten minutes, in June. I’m horribly ashamed but it was too damn cold. Anyway, it was finally nice and warm today so we sat outside to eat our Blizzards.

On the Blizzard cup they have little trivia blurbs about DQ. On the Blizzard cup it mentions how the Blizzard is so thick that it can be held upside down safely and often the servers will present the Blizzard upside down to prove this point. They don’t bother to remind the reader that the inside of the store is air conditioned and when first served the cup is cold.

When you take the time to eat a few bites, give a few bites to your daughter to see if she likes it and take time to read the blurb then the cup, especially if you are sitting outside in the sun, becomes warm and the ice cream melts along the edges of the inside of the cup. They don’t mention this but they should. Upon reading about serving the Blizzard upside down, and because I have decided to take more chances and go with the flow, I turned the Blizzard upside down. It plopped out onto the table and then dripped through the patio furniture (the kind of table made of metal with holes punched through it) onto my pants and shoes.

I was embarrassed at first but then as I got up to grab more napkins I noticed that there were at least three other tables with the very thing happening at that very moment.

Take this as a warning, ignore the challenge on the Blizzard cup or turn it upside down as soon as it is served to you if you can not resist the temptation.

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