I was in my early 40s when I got my first tattoo. I would have gotten one a lot sooner but I just couldn’t figure out with what image I wanted to permanently disfigure my body.
I had the same trouble when it came to putting a bumper sticker on my car. I always wanted to but was too afraid to put my strongly held beliefs out there for ridicule and judgment.
And then I bought a Mac. It came with two apple logos that had been stuffed into a drawer in my desk for a while. I couldn’t throw them away because they were perfectly good. The cat got one of them and the other went on the car in hopes of pissing of Windows users. That was the gateway sticker, the slippery slope, the one that broke the camel’s back or dam or whatever the metaphor is. It was the first one which quickly lead to an Adventure Time sticker from Spencers and a couple of pink Harley Davidson logos that are on the side windows that we picked up last year on vacation in the Black Hills.
All it took was one little apple sticker.
From there we got zombie stick figures. I’d always thought the stick figure family was annoying and irritating because it was a sign of perfection, at least to me. I loved the zombie version because it was unconventional but was still apprehensive about putting them on the back of my car because there was no dad sticker. I’ve been divorced for over ten years and it surprised me that it bothered me so much that there was no dad sticker. My children had no such qualms and pasted the zombie family on the car.
And then I got my Reagan for President bumper sticker. I purchased it, a t-shirt and coffee mug on Zazzle one night after a few glasses of wine. I’ve never put a political sticker on my car because I would choose the wrong candidate and be forced to drive around with the loser on my bumper for 4 – 8 years. Reagan had won, it didn’t matter so much that he’s been dead for nearly as long as I’ve been divorced.
The trouble with the Reagan sticker is that I live in Minnesota, a very liberal state and didn’t want people to get the wrong idea about me. I’m nice and pretty open minded so I had to balance it out with some equality and a few rainbows.
I have only a couple more payments on this vehicle and am looking forward to not having that payment for a while. I don’t have any plans to sell the car, figuring the daughter will be able to drive in a few more years. By then I’ll have covered the whole thing in stickers.
While my stickers certainly offend some people I’m betting for the most part people have no idea what to expect from me when they see them.
Mike from Too Many Mornings posted this question on Facebook:
Here’s the question that leaps to mind: If you got rear-ended (and we should all hope to be that lucky), would you shoot the offending driver or hug him and whisper “Namaste” in his ear? Because I can’t tell from looking at that contradictory mess on your bumper.