I’m back!

Don’t even ask about the book.

I don’t really have a whole post about one thing, I just have a bunch of bitches that I need to get out of my system. None are long enough in and of themselves to make a post with so I’m gonna lump them all together here while I get my mojo working again.

Last week, or maybe it was the week before, I really don’t remember now, I threw out my back. Not completely, I could still walk, but it was enough to make my gait funny which then translated into my thighs hurting as well as my ankle when I went on my 6 mile walk.

After trying to stretch it out for a few days I decided to use heat on it. I had some of those heat wrap things from 2007 but they expired in 2009 and didn’t heat up so I grabbed this massager thing I got as a door prize at my sex toy party.

It’s actually a cool little gizmo. It starts out in kind of a liquid form and then you snap this little piece of metal inside of it and the liquid starts to crystallize as it heats up. Once it has cooled down it needs to be boiled for seven minutes in hot water to remove the crystals.

The problem is there are a couple of trolls in my home who keep snapping the little piece of metal. So far this little heat massager, which is not vibrating or battery operated at all, has been heating the kitchen counter. Which then means if I want to put it on my back I have to boil it again for seven minutes and then let it cool down completely before I snap the metal thingy. Which is why it is on the kitchen counter to begin with.

No one will cop to pressing the metal thing but twice I have found the older one standing in the kitchen holding it.

If I had my mojo completely back I could have told that story more succinctly.

I spent the better part of the day driving. I know I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again because a lot of people seem to forget it.

BLINKERS ARE NOT OPTIONAL

I’d really love to complain about homework, I still don’t get most of it, but the teacher is so nice I can’t complain. I will say this, homework takes a lot longer in second grade than it did in first grade. It’s a lot harder for me too.

99 weeks of guaranteed unemployment benefits means that whoever is receiving unemployment will take exactly 99 weeks to find a job.

We decorated our front yard this year for Halloween, it was awesome. We had a graveyard, spider webs, and ghosts on the lawn. Then we had hurricane force winds for two days and it’s all gone.

Speaking of Halloween decorations. If you want those leaf bags with the pumpkins on them you better buy them as soon as the Halloween decorations go on sale. I had to go to an apple farm in Wisconsin to find mine. Now they belong to some stranger who lives three blocks away.

I have this plugin I use to choose the tags for my posts based on the words I use. The tags for this post are Joy Behar and Sharron Angle. That cracks me up.

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