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Sitemeter and sex toys.

April 13, 2008

I put Sitemeter on two of my blogs. I am first of all amazed that I get as much traffic as I do. I am saddened that most are just lurking. What amazes me is that I have people from Tehran visiting. That is amazing. Just think, I am writing stuff that Iranians are reading. What a cool thing that is. At least I hope it’s cool. I hope I haven’t been made the example of what the snarky Americans do when they get a computer and a little free time.

I got the free version of Sitemeter so I don’t know what site they are coming from. If they come off of one of my other blogs I can tell but generally that field is left blank.

I feel pressure now that I have gone international. I feel as if I must put my best foot forward as a proud American. I am an ambassador now, I must present myself with the utmost decorum. So it pains me for what I am about to discuss.

Last night I went to an “adult toy” party. Similar to a Tupperware Party but instead of buying products that keep food fresh we were shown products that spice up an otherwise dull marriage. We were all, 30 something of us, sent the address in an email along with directions. As most of us do we Googled the directions. Guess what? The address was wrong. About ten of us showed up at this little old lady’s house. The woman who answered the door, in house coat, was gracious since she had been fielding these strange visitors for at least a half an hour. She informed us that no, she was not hosting an adult toy party, and no she was not interested in joining us. She was offered some of the goods we were bringing for the pot luck and we went on our way after finding the right address. Thankfully the woman displaying her wares was given the right address.

Upon arrival it was evident that it would be a loud and wacky hen party. Imagine 30 plus women all between the ages of 20 to 60 looking forward to a night of handling battery operated toys. We were all instructed to bring food or wine. Most of us showed up with wine. The food, which was wonderful included bread, more bread, cookies, chocolate cake, chocolate cupcakes and chocolate torte. PMS heaven.

The show started and the host described each toy and then passed it around. At any given moment each woman was holding some sort of phallus. Eventually people started trying on the clothing, many items were battery operated, as well as the oils and lotions. Now it didn’t turn into an orgy but there were a few girl on girl kisses going on. Apparently a lot of wine, some oils and battery operated toys and our inner lesbian comes out. It was great fun.

When the demonstration concluded the hostess announced that she would be setting up shop in the privacy of the lower level. One could purchase her wares and take them home that evening. No waiting for the brown paper package in the mail. How very convenient! Most of the women made a bee line for her “shop”. I don’t know if everyone did since I left shortly after I met with her but its a pretty good bet.

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No Comments

  • Reply Bill April 15, 2008 at 8:59 am

    What kind of battery-operated clothing was offered?

    That little old lady at the wrong house will certainly have something to talk about at the quilting bee.

    Hmmm…something seems to be missing from this post. I can’t quite put my finger on it. If I do, I should probably don a rubber glove. Oh, wait, I know!
    What was in the little brown bag that you carried home???

  • Reply Jen April 15, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    Bill, they sold candles too…

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