Questions I'm Too Ashamed to Ask Google

May 27, 2010

1. Why does Proctor & Gamble make their Tide measuring cap the same color as their detergent?

2. Why does my cat hate me?

3. What is so irresistible about a just cleaned window that it must be kissed over and over again?

4. Does anyone know how to fold fitted sheets?

5. What is on Stanley’s head?


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  • Reply Comedy Plus May 27, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    I can't answer any of these questions. I'm going to get me another cup of coffee.

    Have a terrific day. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Reply BigSis May 27, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    I am dying to hear the answer to #4. Every time I do laundry I end up with lumpy bumpy fitted sheets!

  • Reply Lydia May 27, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    Good questions. I wish I had the answers for you. I know I have a lot of questions myself!!

  • Reply joann mannix May 27, 2010 at 3:38 pm

    Why does Justin Bieber have such a douchebag hairstyle?

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:17 pm

      That's a great question. And not just Justin but all boys between the ages of 10 and 16. More importantly, why do the girls think this is an attractive look?

  • Reply Arnold May 27, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Question 3 has really got me thinking. I have done a lot of things but kissing windows is something new to me, maybe I have been missing out all these years.

    • Reply Jaffer May 27, 2010 at 4:07 pm

      Get kissing my friend…

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:32 pm

      My daughter has always enjoyed kissing windows. One time when I brought her to the grocery store and stopped at the deli I looked over at her and she was licking the glass case which houses the meats. Luckily for me some very large and loud woman was so disgusted she told my daughter what could happen to her for doing that.

      • Reply Katherine May 28, 2010 at 2:07 am

        One time we were in Golden Corral and my son got a bowl of what he thought was whipped cream. When he got that first mouthful of SOUR cream, he spit it out, got on his hands and knees and LICKED THE CARPET OF THE RESTAURANT. Of the GOLDEN CORRAL restaurant. The woman next to us almost passed out.

  • Reply loladiner May 27, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    It's impossible to fold sheets solo. I just do the best I can and it aggravates me that they take so much space because my kids are sheet folding impaired. If I try to enlist their help they just frustrate me because they are always grabbing the wrong end. I think they should make self folding sheets that pop out of the dryer completely folded.

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:30 pm

      That is a brilliant idea!

      I can fold the top sheet alone, even if it does pick up all the dog and cat hair on the floor, but I just can't figure out the fitted sheet.

  • Reply Surfie May 27, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    1. Because if they didn't you wouldn't be able to ask that question.
    2. Because cats hate everyone except those who don't like cats or have allergies.
    3. Maybe it's the act of cleaning the window that turns you on, and if you kiss it you get to clean it again. I suggest therapy.
    4. You're supposed to fold fitted sheets? I thought you were supposed to just ball them up and shove them to the back of the linen closet.
    5. You should probably ask the cat.

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:28 pm

      But I don't like cats and I don't have allergies.

      I'm not the one kissing the window, it's the little gremlin that follows me around after I have cleaned each one, inside and out. I get to enjoy my unobstructed view for all of three minutes.

  • Reply Tracy O'Connor May 27, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    Great idea for my next blog post – questions I wished people had been too ashamed to ask Google that turned up in my analytics. Totally not safe for work.

  • Reply Jaffer May 27, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    I assumed everybody knew how to fold fitted sheets.

    I cannot resist of fogging up windows in the winter and writing on them ๐Ÿ™‚

    What's on Stanley's head ? a crop circle created by very tiny aliens ?

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:26 pm

      If you really do know the answer to the fitted sheet question would you please share it, or come over and fold some sheets for me?

      While you're at it I'll give you some Windex.

      You could be right.

  • Reply parenting ad absurdum May 27, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    Google doesn't know as much as it thinks it does anyway. Stupid know-it-all google…

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:25 pm

      Google had 893,000 answers for why my cat hates me, and 1,700,000 for what's on Stanley's head. I really thought it would be the other way around. None of the millions of answers are correct however.

  • Reply JunkDrawer May 27, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    I used to know a woman through an acquaintance who was the ditsiest person I knew. Her answers to Trivial Pursuit questions were legendary.

    “What is the capital of California?”


    But the girl knew how to fold a fitted sheet. She showed me how to do it and I remember being amazed it could be done so well. And then I forgot how she did it because I had too much to drink when we went clubbing later.

    Who's the dummy now?

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:22 pm

      It just proves that everyone, EVERYONE, has a special talent.

      Do you still know her, could you ask again? She probably wouldn't remember that she already showed you how to do it.

  • Reply Mrsblogalot May 27, 2010 at 5:05 pm

    I only know the answer to folding the fitted sheets.


    Squish them up into a tiny ball and shove them in the linen closet then close the door really fast before it and all of the others come crashing down on you.

    I know-I love helping.

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:21 pm

      That is my current method. Or… after washing just put right back on the bed and never actually fold a set. But sometimes that isn't possible, like when someone is sick. I do appreciate your help.

    • Reply Katherine May 28, 2010 at 2:04 am

      Mrsblogalot, you are MY kinda woman! You MUST have seen my closets!

  • Reply Joe Cap May 27, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    And why does my Bride fold underwear?? Is there a point to it?

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:20 pm

      If you don't fold underwear, especially boxer shorts, they take up too much room and the drawer looks messy. That's why I fold it. Usually just in half, nothing fancy but so it can fit in the drawer properly.

  • Reply 00dozo May 27, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    I can't fold fitted sheets either. I try, but then they just get all messed up and end up in a semi-flat ball which I stick inside the folds of the flat sheet.

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:19 pm

      That's a really good idea, let them hide inside the fitted sheet giving them the appearance of being folded. Smart!

  • Reply babs (beetle) May 27, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    I was just folding (screwing up) a fitted sheet and saying the same thing to Mo! There is a way, but you would need to lay it out on the floor to do it! Can't be bothered. Just roll it up and be done with it.

    • Reply redheadranting May 27, 2010 at 6:18 pm

      But sometimes don't you just want to go it the right way to say you did it the right way? Just once?

      • Reply babs (beetle) June 4, 2010 at 12:49 am

        Well, I did do it once, and that was enough. Now I half fold and half roll ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • Reply Christina May 27, 2010 at 10:02 pm

    Fold a fitted sheet…

    1. Start with it inside out
    2. Put your hands in 2 corners like mittens
    3. Match those 2 corners and fold one over the other so they are seam to seam inside
    4. Run your hand down to the next corner over and it should be easy to catch the last one and repeat the seam matching
    5. It now should easily fold up if I made any sense at all, but probably not ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:56 am

      I assume you need a table or flat surface to perform this? It seems to make sense, I'll let you know how it works out next time I need to fold one.

  • Reply Nicky May 27, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    Why do all kids eat their boogers? Wouldn't you think they'd stop after the first disgusting taste?

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:55 am

      Do ALL kids eat their boogers? I knew two kids in elementary school who ate their boogers but unless they did it in private I don't think all kids do. I never tried it but then my brother would pick his nose and threaten to wipe it on me.

  • Reply Pricilla May 28, 2010 at 12:42 am

    Oooh, ooooh, I know how to fold fitted sheets.

    It's my one and only skill

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:54 am

      Will you share?

      • Reply Pricilla May 29, 2010 at 12:16 am

        Sure, come and visit and you will see the hooves fly!
        I can fold those sheets like no goat can!

  • Reply MsDarkstar May 28, 2010 at 1:46 am

    1. So you can't see how much you're using and will have to buy more faster than if you could actually measure it correctly.

    2. It's a cat thing.

    3. Wash it once with water from the toilet in the presence of the window kisser. That should do the trick.

    4. Yes and I envy their having the time and patience to master the skill.

    5. The cat might be able to answer that, but, as you mentioned the cat hates you so you'll probably never know…

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:53 am

      I agree completely with #1 it's a conspiracy. I love your idea for #3, broccoli would work too.

  • Reply Katherine Murray May 28, 2010 at 2:09 am

    Stanley's head is ruffled up from trying to fold the fitted sheets for you, because dogs aim to please! Your cat probably thinks you are weird because you kiss windows. And the measuring cap? So you will use more of the product and then have to buy more. Now, about that kissing windows thing…

  • Reply meleahrebeccah May 28, 2010 at 5:43 am

    My mom knows how to fold fitted sheets and she's tried *unsuccessfully* to teach me.

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:52 am

      I've tried to teach my kids a lot of things and so far have been unsuccessful too. Fitted sheets are hard, taking out the trash is not.

  • Reply CarissaJaded May 28, 2010 at 6:01 am

    I always want to kiss a clean window! Or mirror! Especially when I have on fresh lipstick! And then I never clean them again until they are so stuck that theyll never come off. Hence the fact that all my mirrors have lipstick kisses on them!

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:50 am

      I will admit that in my younger days I kissed a mirror or two with lipstick. What I am talking about are basically face prints on each window at a certain 7 year old level. She saw me clean them a few weeks ago, she saw how much trouble it was to get both inside and outside of the window clean. She isn't helping.

  • Reply Sparkle May 28, 2010 at 7:47 am

    I don't know your cat personally so I can't answer question #2 for you. But I do want to say that if you do a search on “Why does my cat hate me?” (include the quotes), you'll find that over 10,000 people were not ashamed to ask Google.

    As for the fitted sheets, my human found a video on YouTube and has used this technique faithfully ever since (ironically, it's a man explaining the technique):

    The rest of it, you're on your own.

    • Reply redheadranting May 28, 2010 at 11:48 am

      Thank you for that video I am going to watch it and learn it. 10,000 other people are asking why their cat hates them? Hmmm, at least it isn't just me.

  • Reply GDad May 28, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    1. It is made of the same material. I believe it may be related to Soylent products.
    2. It is a cat. There need be no other reason.
    3. You suffer from glazolabiitis.
    4. No.

    I hope I was able to offer some small assistance.

  • Reply JD at I Do Things May 28, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Ah. I see someone helpfully provided a YouTube link that shows how to fold fitted sheets.

    DAMN IT!

    Now I have no excuse for rolling them up into a ball and shoving them in the drawer.

  • Reply Saturday Night Link Up | I Hate My Message Board May 29, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    […] Great idea for my next blog post – questions I wished people had been too ashamed to ask Google that turned up in my analytics. Totally not safe for work. Questions I’m too ashamed to ask Google […]

  • Reply sheilasultani May 31, 2010 at 2:47 am

    I started using a white measuring cup years ago because I always spilled soap everywhere.

    I make the kids fold the sheets. (they just roll up the fitted ones and hide them under the flat sheets that way I don't notice them.

    I hate cats they're evil

    My kids don't kiss the windows, they wipe their boogers on them and then lick them

    It looks like a crop circle on stanleys head

  • Reply Rebecca May 31, 2010 at 4:18 am

    1. I use Era. Era is nice. They have clear caps!
    2. Cats love me. Maybe I should Google why my cat loves me?
    3. Wow, you certainly take housecleaning to a higher level… !
    4. I do, and I do.
    5. The dog's name is Stanley?!?!? LOL


  • Reply GuiltyMother June 1, 2010 at 7:58 am

    I can answer Q4 – my girlfriend Jo knows how to fold fitted sheets. She showed me once, it was genious, they sat there all unscrunched and perfectly flat. Can't for the life of me remember what she did though so they're back to sitting in a balled up heap again.

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