National Vagina Day

January 29, 2009

Today must be National Vagina Day and I managed to miss it on my calendar. Crotchety Old Man and Ettarose both wrote about Oprah’s va jay jay today. From there I spotted this link on Unfinished Rambler‘s site. Coincidence? I think not.

I wish I had known it was National Vagina Day. If I had, I would have worn some really frilly underpants and maybe even gotten a wax. I would have posted pictures of Georgia O’Keeffe paintings on my blog and maybe featured ads from Summer’s Eve.

I don’t mind celebrating National Vagina Day, let’s face it most of us either have one or like to play with one (or more for some of you people out there). I’m not so sure that Oprah’s should be the one we all think of when we celebrate National Vagina Day. I’m sure hers is nice, she can get all kinds of nifty waxes, or she could do corn rows to highlight her va jay jay but really do we want her vagina representing all of us on this great national holiday? I think not. I think we should have a vagina that better represents the common man, err woman. Not one that is worth a few gazillion.

No, the vagina that we should all look up to in these uncertain economic times should be more in tune to the common man’s, err woman’s, day to day struggles. A woman who has tried the full on shave and realized that it just isn’t worth the three days of trying discreetly to scratch the hell out of her crotch during board meetings and PTA conferences. This rules out both Madonna and Michael Jackson. The current crop of celebutards are also ruled out since this is National Vagina Day and not National Bread Baking Day.

The vagina we should all look to up should be strong, odor free and meticulous about who enters. Therefore I nominate Janet Reno’s Vagina for this glorious holiday.

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  • Reply dizzblnd January 29, 2009 at 7:51 pm

    ewwwwwwwwwwwww I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Blech

    Maybe Chelle WILL declare this National Va Jay Jay Day

    Great post!

  • Reply Lola January 29, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    Do you know something about Janet Reno that we don’t? LOL!

    P.S. In our house we aren’t allowed to use the term “va jay jay”. We can use just about any other name, just not “va jay jay”.

  • Reply Lin January 29, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    You know, Jen, I didn’t think the whole scratchy reference due to a “full shave” was so funny because I’m am fresh from surgery to repair and inguinal hernia. My husband kept wanting to see my scar for some odd reason. Hmm…..

    Oh, and yes, it is itchy in case you are wondering. But I promise not to scratch. 🙂

  • Reply Angi January 29, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    “…not National Bread Baking Day.”


    LOL, you crack me up.

  • Reply SpeakDog January 29, 2009 at 11:44 pm

    Janet Reno? Are we *sure* she has one? I have my doubts.

  • Reply RE Ausetkmt January 30, 2009 at 12:45 am

    Hey I nominate the minority candidate – Condibaby !

    you know that’s a sanitized vajay-jay. probably licked clean as a whistle today, right after the View. WOOPS !

  • Reply Stephanie January 30, 2009 at 1:51 am

    Oddly enough I am glad that I missed the announcement of the holiday…..

  • Reply dani c January 30, 2009 at 2:58 am

    OMG janet reno ?

  • Reply ettarose January 30, 2009 at 4:39 am

    You are so silly. I have to say I do not think Janet has one. As a matter of fact, no one has a vagina that has no smell. They were all fish in their first life.

  • Reply Mike January 30, 2009 at 6:27 am

    Oprah’s vagina scares me, ever since I’ve seen the south park episode where it holds hostages at gunpoint.

  • Reply Jane Doe January 30, 2009 at 6:49 am

    Girl, you never cease to crack me up!! Janet Reno-that is just priceless!!

  • Reply Jude January 30, 2009 at 8:40 am

    According to most men there’s nothing quite like it so why shouldn’t they have a national day. Ever since I first heard va jay jay on Gray’s Anatomy and then Oprah I’ve come to cringe every time I hear it.. Funny post.

  • Reply Da Old Man January 30, 2009 at 9:12 am

    Janet Reno?

    LOL! That is the best choice ever.

  • Reply Kirsten January 30, 2009 at 9:46 am

    Interesting choice! Once I got over the initial heebie geebies, I understand where you’re coming from. Good choice!

  • Reply Janice January 30, 2009 at 10:55 am

    As a Brit this post has me flumoxed, vagina day?Do you gat a day of work and have to spend it potholing? LOL

  • Reply Pricilla January 30, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Don’t forget the goats!

  • Reply Chaotically Calm January 30, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    LMFAO….serioulsy I think I might have damaged the mother board of my computer, I guess I should send you the bill.

    Janet F’n Reno…too freaking funny! Although I think a cootie check is warranted because I’m not sure she plays for the right team.

  • Reply Jen January 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Dizz, Sorry I made you puke.

    Lola, We use the proper word or hoohoo.

    Lin, Sorry about your itch, it goes away in a few days.

    Angi, Yuck, I know but soooo true.

    Speak Dog, I hope she has one otherwise a bigger deal should have been made when she was Attorney General. Instead of the first woman attorney general we would have had the first cross dressing attorney general.

    RE Ausetkmt, Ewww! I didn’t need that visual today. Still trying to get Oprah’s out of my vision.

    Stephanie, Just wait until National Penis Day. Oh wait every day is penis day.

    Dani C, I thought so too. Though she wasn’t my first choice.

    Ettarose, Fish?

    Mike, I haven’t seen that one but now I must find it. Thanks!

    Jane, thanks.

    Jude, it’s better than twat.

    Old Man, not the best choice but the best American by far.

    Kristen, thank you.

    Janice, My first choice actually was Margaret Thatcher but this isn’t International Vagina Day it is National Vagina Day. I think Ms. Thatcher’s va jay jay could kick Janet Reno’s any day of the week.

    Pricilla, I’m not quite sure what to make your comment.

    Chaotically Calm, I’m not sure what team she plays for but I’m pretty sure all sorts of clearances are needed to access her vagina no matter what side is trying to enter. Sorry about your motherboard.

  • Reply Kim January 30, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    Horray for the every-woman’s-vagina!

    I hate the term va jay jay. Oprah really screwed over our lexicon with that one.

    Janet Reno is a great pick.

  • Reply SeanDonland January 30, 2009 at 3:26 pm

    I'm so happy to finally understand where va ja jay comes from. I always thought it had something to do with the Canadian baseball team Toronto Bluejays. What a great day this turned into. I love being cool. Thanks Jen & Oprah!

  • Reply Thinkinfyou January 30, 2009 at 5:00 pm

    Uh, I doubt hers has ever been used.So how do we know it even works?Come to think of it…I don’t want to know.

  • Reply Dave January 30, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    great post! Egads on your choice of Janet Reno’s vagina – shudder!!!!

  • Reply unfinishedrambler January 30, 2009 at 7:17 pm

    Hey, thanks a lot for throwing me in there with all this. I try to run a family blog, you know. 😉

    Whoa. Janet Reno….no thanks for the image…or actually thanks for the lack of image….or maybe not, leaving it to our imaginations…ewwwwww, dizzblnd was right.

  • Reply Marie January 31, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Every day is Vagina Day in our house!! There are three of us here. Holy smokes is it ever Hormone City.

    And shave?!?! That is SOOOO yesterday. You have to do what I do. Go to a salon. Make sure it is one that is run by a lovely Russian woman who whips your panties off so fast you’re sure she was your high school boyfriend in a previous life.

    Then have all your hair smothered in wax and ripped out by the roots.

    See, easy peasy. 🙂

    Oh, but you say you think that will hurt? It does! Like a mother f****r.

    But you will then have the hoo ha of a porn star. Or a ten year old, depending on your preference.

  • Reply Shonda Little January 31, 2009 at 11:25 am

    This is the best pussy post I’ve read in a long time, maybe ever. Keep it up, Miss Lady. Maybe we should lobby Congress for a federally recognized holiday. I mean, Christopher Columbus gets a whole day and he never actually set foot in modern day America. Vaginas should be a shoe in.

  • Reply JD at I Do Things February 1, 2009 at 10:43 am

    “most of us either have one or like to play with one”

    Why “either/or”? Some of us have one AND like to play with it!

  • Reply Google Stopped Loving Me – Redhead Ranting October 5, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    […] to do with redheads and certain parts of the female anatomy. Which is fine, I wrote a post about National Vagina Day and I happen to be a redhead so I’m okay with a few perverts coming to my site. Honestly I […]

  • Reply bartleyc August 10, 2015 at 3:25 am

    Janet Reno, GGGGGGGGaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggggg. thank i’m going to be sick.

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