Dumb Shit I Do

Midlife Crisis

July 11, 2008
An ear being pierced with an ear piercing inst...
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Hopefully my midlife crisis will be coming to an end soon. Last month I got two new tattoos and this month I pierced the cartilage on my ear.

I was not planning on piercing my ear again. I already have 5 holes in my ear lobes so really didn’t need anymore. I got the upper part of my ear pierced because I always wondered what it felt like to get your ears pierced with the piercing gun.

I pierced my ears in the locker room in 8th or 9th grade. Actually my friend Jeanine pierced them and I pierced hers. We used snow to numb the ear lobes and then after holding a safety pin over a flame for a few seconds stuck it through the ear lobe. I don’t really remember if there was any pain but I do remember there was a lot of blood.

My friend’s daughter wanted to get her ears pierced for her 13th birthday so we took her to the Mall of America and found a Claire’s. When we got there a girl about 10 or 11 was just about to get her ears done so we watched. The person doing the piercing made two marks on her lobes where she would position the gun. This is to ensure that the holes are in the right spot and level. I did not think to do this when I pierced my ears and therefore my earrings are not level. Anyway after getting the ok she proceeded to pierce this young girls first ear. The mother took pictures of the process. Too bad as the girl started to cry after the first ear.

Eventually they calmed her down and finished the process. She continued to cry as she left the store. My friend’s daughter was now very reluctant to get her ears pierced. She was nearly crying. I knew how much she wanted to get her ears pierced. All her friends had pierced ears and she had been talking about this for some time. So I did what any mother would do for their best friend’s daughter. I told her I would go first to prove to her it didn’t really hurt and the girl before her was just a pussy.

She agreed so I sat down in the chair after choosing a cubic zirconia surgical steel earring and decided on the left ear. I asked my friend if there was any significance anymore to which ear was pierced and she told me no. It didn’t really matter since I figured I’d balance out the left ear since it only had two so far.

The piercer made the mark on my ear and then positioned the gun. My friend’s daughter was scared to watch but her mother forced her too. It was over in a split second and it didn’t hurt. Just the sensation of a tiny pin prick. No blood.

My friend’s daughter then took her place in the chair. She was frightened and kept her eyes closed but she didn’t cry. When she was finished I asked if it hurt and she said “no, that girl really was a pussy.”

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  • Reply GDad July 11, 2008 at 2:03 pm

    I don’t plan to have my midlife crisis until I’m 90.

    Of course, as Bobby Burns said, “The best laid schemes o’ mice and men…”

  • Reply Bill July 14, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    HAHAHAHA!!!

    That is not the ending I was expecting!

  • Reply Linda R. August 6, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    That was a very kind thing for you to do. She was brave because of you, and found out it really didn't hurt.

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