Things that piss me off

It's Time for Racial Profiling

January 5, 2010

There, I said it. It is time we practiced racial profiling, at least on our airplanes.

The recent underwear bombing attempt on Christmas day has made me change my mind on the subject of racial profiling.

Actually I haven’t changed my mind I just remained silent about it.

Not anymore.

The guys name is Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab for cryin’ out loud.

That should be a red flag as far as I am concerned. If you can’t pronounce someone’s name then a full body cavity search needs to be implemented.

Of course this profiling by name would have excluded Richard Reid, the shoe bomber, but he looked like this:


If that face doesn’t scream troublemaker I don’t know what would.

I realize that profiling by name or religion might piss a lot of people off. More people would be searched, causing longer wait times at the airport. The government has decided that they will look at where a passenger is coming from and going to to decide if they should be screened a little more thoroughly. Because we all know that terrorists all come from the middle east and are all going to… anyplace in the US. This is a sound plan of operation and our government should pat itself on the back for this brilliant thinking.

If our terrorists were of Swedish descent the airport screeners should check everyone named Sven and Bjorn with a full body search. If terrorists were Polish then by all means search guys with names like Fabian Budzinski.

Of course every person with a middle eastern sounding name or Muslim name will get upset that they are being targeted. The argument being that not all middle eastern or Muslim people want to hurt Americans, or other democratic nations for that matter.  They would be right of course. Not all Muslims want to blow up buildings or planes. Not all middle easterners want to stop the American way of life.

But a lot of them do.

For all non terrorists with terrorist sounding names they have a few choices. Change their name to Sven Olsen, don’t travel to the US or suck it up and get searched.

But it’s not fair!

It’s not. Tough.

According to Wikipedia Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab had left quite a trail of red flags in his wake. So many that his father alerted the CIA to his son. And yet he was still able to board a plane with a load in his underpants with enough explosives to take down an airliner filled with passengers on one of our biggest religious holidays.

He was on a watch list. He should have never gotten on the plane. The airlines and the governments involved should be ashamed of themselves.

Apparently Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab understood that no airline is going to grab at his crotch and feel around to make sure he is only packing his own junk. Which means until we have full body x-rays, where they don’t block out the genitals and breasts of passengers, or full body cavity searches, our airlines are not safe to fly.

Another interesting fact, and one that ought to be utilized in the war on terror, is that for several years Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was posting online about his sexual frustrations:

“As i get lonely, the natural sexual drive awakens and i struggle to control it, sometimes leading to minor sinful activities like not lowering the gaze [in the presence of unveiled women]. And this problem makes me want to get married to avoid getting aroused”.


“The hair of a woman can easily arouse a man. The Prophet advised young men to fast if they can’t get married but it has not been helping me much and I seriously don’t want to wait for years before I get married. But i am only 18 … It would be difficult for me to get married due to social norms of getting to the late 20’s when one has a degree, a job, a house, etc before getting married. So usually my fa[n]tasies are about islamic stuff. The bad part of it is sometimes the fantasies are a bit worldly rather than concentrating in the hereafter.”

and finally

“Alright, i wont go into too much details about me fantasy, but basically they are jihad fantisies [sic]. I imagine how the great jihad will take place, how the muslims will win insha Allah and rule the whole world, and establish the greatest empire once again!!!”

If I recall correctly the terrorists who flew into the World Trade Center were promised sex with a bunch of virgins in heaven.

So let’s get these poor frustrated boys laid. Al Qaeda might have a much harder time recruiting young men if they aren’t squelching their innate biological drive to get some pussy.

Maybe we could open a massage parlor or two at the airport specifically for men with Muslim or middle eastern sounding names. They have two hours before they board the plane which is ample time to get their sex on. And the young female professionals would be able to search them like the airlines are unwilling to.

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