Dumb Shit I Do

It's time for my annual bitch-about-the-heat post

July 19, 2011

It’s so fucking hot I can’t even make the effort to capitalize the words in my title. I’ve stopped looking at the weather channel because it just depresses me. There doesn’t seem to be any end in sight, just day after day of hot and humid.


I hate the heat, I especially hate this heat because it is truly like breathing water outside. I’ve got no motivation and have considered hiring a ghostwriter for my blog because I can’t think of anything to write. Considering I am a ghostwriter it’s pretty pathetic.

Last night I was driving my daughter’s friend home and we were detoured because of a huge fire on Summit Avenue in St. Paul. It was a home in my old neighborhood which probably caught fire because of too many air conditioners running on one circuit. I’ve got three running at all times with a dehumidifier for the basement. I can’t wash dishes in the dishwasher, I can’t use my hair dryer and I can’t even think about turning on an extra light because I will blow the circuits in the house. I can use my dryer and my oven because they have their own circuit but the last thing I want to do is heat up the house anymore than it already is. Even with three air conditioners running I can only get the temp down to 85 degrees.

I am sure it is hot enough to cook an egg on the sidewalk, take a look for yourself…

Okay, maybe not but tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter so stay tuned.

I promise, right here, that if this heat wave breaks in the next 24 hours I will never, ever bitch about winter again.

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  • Reply Nicky July 19, 2011 at 10:52 pm

    I think I may try the egg thing tomorrow as well. They’re announcing 45 degrees Celcius here. That’s about 113 degrees Farenheit. In other words, it is “kill me now” weather.

    • Reply redheadranting July 20, 2011 at 1:32 am

      I’m really surprised it gets so hot in Even More Canada. Be sure to take a picture of the egg cooking. 45 C sounds so much better than 113 F. 

  • Reply Pricilla July 19, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    Hmmm, perhaps I should not share this but our heat wave is breaking as I type with some wild rain. Sever thunderstorms are on the way the the forecast for Thursday is 60° with snow predicted for 7,000 ft and above. In freakin’ July. There is something seriously wrong with that….

    It had been in the high 90ies the last few days which is the publicist’s (and my) kind of weather.

    • Reply redheadranting July 20, 2011 at 1:33 am

      If it’s breaking by you that means the break is headed our way in another day or two. I hope that’s what it means. 

  • Reply Shawn July 20, 2011 at 12:32 am

    Something went wrong with the ventilation system at work yesterday and the heat was on all morning. There were heat shimmers around my desk and I swear I saw a tumbleweed roll by.

    • Reply redheadranting July 20, 2011 at 1:33 am

      I’d quit if that happened. Seriously if the heat was on I would puke and then I would storm out in a serious huff. 

  • Reply Blog Rehab July 20, 2011 at 1:25 am

    I don’t like the heat either, but if they say it’s going to be 99 tomorrow and it ends up being 93, I’m always disappointed, for some reason.

    • Reply redheadranting July 20, 2011 at 1:35 am

      I’m like that too. My thermometer on the outside of the house says it’s 110 right now but it isn’t, it’s more like 95. I know it is off, kinda like my bathroom scale, but I try to convince myself that it is really hotter in my little piece of hell. 

  • Reply Holly1018 July 20, 2011 at 2:42 am

    I wish we could dehumidify your house and send all the humidity to MY house!!!

  • Reply Marvel Goose July 20, 2011 at 5:03 am

    Actual heat has broken a bit here in South GA, we now just have 95 each day instead of in the 100’s. Relative humidity gets up to 90%.    Your forecast is in the mid-80’s.  We consider that a cool summer evening.  Trade ya’.

    BTW, most homes here are central cooled and everyone runs it around 68 also known as aggressive cooling.

  • Reply If I Were God... July 20, 2011 at 11:43 am

    This just made me think of some lyrics from an old song;

    The heat was hot and the ground was dryBut the air was full of soundI’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name…

  • Reply Annie July 20, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Sorry to hear that it’s still hot. I can understand that capitalization is too much effort. Please don’t find a ghostwriter as I would miss your rants.

  • Reply babs (beetle) July 20, 2011 at 4:04 pm

    So you had to clean all that egg up after?  I’ve decided not to moan to you about our weather. You’d probably like it at the moment 🙂

  • Reply Lauren Salkin July 20, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    How hot is it? I hate heat and humidity.

    It’s getting hot here, too, in CT. It’s going hit 100 in the next day or so. Think I’ll remove all the shelves in the fridge and camp out there for a while. 

  • Reply Winter July 20, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    I’ll keep that in mind when I check in around February 2012.

    K, gotta get back to blizzards in Antarctica. Later!

    • Reply redheadranting July 20, 2011 at 11:51 pm

      You’re a mean one, Mr. Winter, but your sister is a bitch.

  • Reply Madge July 21, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    We had about a week of heat like that here last year, we only have one ghetto air conditioner that hangs out of our bedroom window. I started getting up when Steve left for work at 4:30 and opening the house up to get some cooler air in, that’s when I would do laundry and run the dishwasher. It’s miserable, and now that I’m having unpredictable hot flashes I wouldn’t know where to start to cool myself down. I’m sorry you’re stuck in the mucky heat.

  • Reply JunkDrawer July 21, 2011 at 11:37 pm

    Same here, 102 tomorrow. Sorry about your house not really getting cool enough. Mine’s freezing and I’m under blankets all the time. I know. Stupid. But the hubs gets control of the thermostat. To wit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4bovMU_hAX8

  • Reply Linda R. July 22, 2011 at 1:41 pm

    No matter what the weather, it is always a hot topic.  It is hotter in PA where my friends moved this spring than it is here.  We had a high of 95 yesterday with a heat index of at least 101.  They hit 99, which broke the record of 98 for that day.  It already feels like 94 this morning.

  • Reply Plastic Mancunian July 23, 2011 at 4:15 pm

    Come to England – it’s supposed to be summer and it’s either peeing down with rain or miserably cloudy. Sure we get the odd bit of sun but summer temps of 17 degrees? If we’re lucky. Thankfully today is fairly nice – I wonder how long that will last?




  • Reply meleahrebeccah July 23, 2011 at 6:39 pm

    Oh man, I was totally expecting the egg to cook on the pavement! I feel your pain, Jen. It’s been BRUTAL here in NJ too. It’s just too hot to think, read, write, or even move!

  • Reply Jayne July 24, 2011 at 2:24 am

    I’d rather be too cold that too hot.  When you’re cold you can always keep adding layers of clothing, but when you’re too hot naked is the best you can do.  

  • Reply anna August 1, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    Hi I just found you through stumbleupon.

    I am a divorced mother of four boys (mostly grown up now) but I can completely understand where you are coming from with this post.

    Ok so I think I just posted my comment on a completely different post to the one I thought I was.

    I just read your post about working and your daughters teeth episode. When I was still married I used to get those type of calls from my husband.

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