Last week I got an email from a blog friend asking me for some help. Lola, from Lola’s Diner wanted to know if I would help her tweak her profile on Match.com. Lola has recently re-entered the dating scene and she wanted to make an impression.
Lola is one of my oldest blogging pals and I would do anything for her.
I am flattered that Lola would ask me to help her write a witty blurb about her. I am sure it is because she thinks I am a gifted wordsmith. I’m not. The moment you ask me to write about anything I get complete writers block. I start checking my email, I run a load a laundry, bathe the dog, anything to avoid having to write about one particular topic. I can blather on until the cows come home about anything until you ask me to talk about cows coming home and then I am stuck.
So I let the email sit there for a bit.
Lola sent me another email a day or two later and asked if I could help write her tagline.
At least that was a lot fewer words. Something catchy, something unique and witty. Sure I could do that.
All I could come up with was several different lyrics from Commodore songs.
“You’re once, twice, three times a lady”
“Lady, you bring me up when I’m down”
“Oh, oh sail on…”
Lola was pleased with my attempt, and ever so polite when she mentioned that lesbians don’t really care for the Commodores. She suggested I pick something from Melissa Etheridge or the Indigo Girls.
I like the Indigo Girls, Retrospective is a staple CD in my car. I couldn’t think of any lyrics to their songs except:
“Galileo’s head was on the block…”
and the song about Minnesota and the river but I was unable to come up with any lyrics, couldn’t remember the tune and didn’t want to go out to the car. I do remember it was a song about unrequited love and that probably wouldn’t be suitable.
This was hard.
So I wrote back to her and asked what her profile looked like now. I figured I could read it and maybe add a few suggestions.
Her profile was well written, funny and interesting. I suggested she remove one word.
That’s all I could contribute.
Which isn’t surprising given the fact that I am a straight woman who hasn’t had a date in well over six months. I can hardly get my writing mojo on to try to attract men, how the hell was I supposed to try to attract women.
I couldn’t even write my own profile on Match.com. I had to have JD from Idothings do it for me.
Lola, you don’t need my help and you shouldn’t want it. The only thing I was able to attract, when I wrote my own profile, was a guy who had the worlds worst set of teeth. You don’t need that. You are doing just fine on your own. Any woman would be lucky to have you consider dating her. I can’t make that any better than it already is.
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