Blogging People

Isn't it Ironic?

March 8, 2010

Last week I got an email from a blog friend asking me for some help. Lola, from Lola’s Diner wanted to know if I would help her tweak her profile on Match.com. Lola has recently re-entered the dating scene and she wanted to make an impression.

Lola is one of my oldest blogging pals and I would do anything for her.

I am flattered that Lola would ask me to help her write a witty blurb about her. I am sure it is because she thinks I am a gifted wordsmith. I’m not. The moment you ask me to write about anything I get complete writers block. I start checking my email, I run a load a laundry, bathe the dog, anything to avoid having to write about one particular topic. I can blather on until the cows come home about anything until you ask me to talk about cows coming home and then I am stuck.

So I let the email sit there for a bit.

Lola sent me another email a day or two later and asked if I could help write her tagline.

At least that was a lot fewer words. Something catchy, something unique and witty. Sure I could do that.

All I could come up with was several different lyrics from Commodore songs.

“You’re once, twice, three times a lady”

“Lady, you bring me up when I’m down”

“Oh, oh sail on…”

Lola was pleased with my attempt, and ever so polite when she mentioned that lesbians don’t really care for the Commodores. She suggested I pick something from Melissa Etheridge or the Indigo Girls.

I like the Indigo Girls, Retrospective is a staple CD in my car. I couldn’t think of any lyrics to their songs except:

“Galileo’s head was on the block…”

and the song about Minnesota and the river but I was unable to come up with any lyrics, couldn’t remember the tune and didn’t want to go out to the car. I do remember it was a song about unrequited love and that probably wouldn’t be suitable.

This was hard.

So I wrote back to her and asked what her profile looked like now. I figured I could read it and maybe add a few suggestions.

Her profile was well written, funny and interesting. I suggested she remove one word.

That’s all I could contribute.

Which isn’t surprising given the fact that I am a straight woman who hasn’t had a date in well over six months. I can hardly get my writing mojo on to try to attract men, how the hell was I supposed to try to attract women.

I couldn’t even write my own profile on Match.com. I had to have JD from Idothings do it for me.

Lola, you don’t need my help and you shouldn’t want it. The only thing I was able to attract, when I wrote my own profile, was a guy who had the worlds worst set of teeth. You don’t need that. You are doing just fine on your own. Any woman would be lucky to have you consider dating her. I can’t make that any better than it already is.

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  • Reply Lola March 8, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    You are too kind blog pally.

    I still would like a witty tag line though. Maybe one of your readers could come up with one?
    .-= Lola┬┤s last blog ..Review – CSN Stores =-.

  • Reply Comedy Plus March 8, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    Well, if you can’t write it then perhaps no one can. You are very witty indeed. Sometimes things just will not come to mind. Hey you tried and that’s worth a lot.

    Have a terrific day. ­čÖé
    .-= Comedy Plus┬┤s last blog ..Caption This =-.

  • Reply MsDarkstar March 8, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    “Loveable Lady Seeks Same”?
    .-= MsDarkstar┬┤s last blog ..Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place…(3) =-.

  • Reply Surfie March 8, 2010 at 5:47 pm

    I can pretty much guarantee I won’t be any help with coming up with a tagline either. I can’t help but have the lyrics to two songs pop up in my mind whenever I hear the name Lola, though.

    Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl… (Copacabana, Barry Manilow)

    and

    Lola. L-O-L-A, Lola. (Lola, Kinks)

    ­čÖé
    .-= Surfie┬┤s last blog ..I Have Triumphed! =-.

  • Reply Katherine March 8, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    Poor poor Lola will now be submitted to many attempts at new tag lines. What IS a tag line on match.com?! I had to look it up!

    -La La La La LOLA (I just couldn’t HELP that!)
    -The Suburban Lesbian
    -Out of her shell and ready for Suburbia
    -I promise not to blog about you.
    -I can cook! No, Really!
    -Better than your Blackberry (OK I really like that one!)

    You know, Lola, you might actually get some great tag lines from this! No, not MINE, silly, from the CLEVER people that read this blog!

    When I googled for a tag line, it said to pull a line out of what you already wrote on your profile. ­čÖé
    .-= Katherine┬┤s last blog ..She Played The Card. And I Caved. =-.

  • Reply MsDarkstar March 8, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    Ok, going with Surfie’s theme…

    “Looking for someone to sip champagne (or CocaCola) with me”
    .-= MsDarkstar┬┤s last blog ..Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place…(3) =-.

  • Reply Mrsblogalot March 8, 2010 at 5:58 pm

    …his crime was looking up the truth…sorry, I always wind up singing when I’m here-I loves me the Inigo Girls.

    There was a lot of pressure on you! I could have never done it!

  • Reply Linda Medrano March 8, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    “Former nun seeks same for friendship and more”. Okay, I’m not really and you don’t have to be either.

    “Ex CIA female” seeks adventure with mysterious woman. (Not former female, former CIA, no, that’s a lie too.)

    “Retired Policewoman seeks fun seeking friend or criminally inclined female whom I can reform”.
    .-= Linda Medrano┬┤s last blog ..Memories Of The George V Paris =-.

  • Reply Jen March 8, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    Lola: I’m not being kind, I’m just telling the truth.

    Sandee: I can’t but I bet someone here can.

    MsDarkstar: I like that one. Lola, what do you think?

    Surfie: That’s what I think every time I visit her blog. I was going to say you missed Eric Clapton’s song but that’s Layla. Now that song is stuck in my head, which is far better than Barry Manilow.

    Katherine: “Out of her shell and ready for Suburbia” That’s a great one.
    “I promise not to blog about you” and “I can cook! No, Really!” Did you go and look up my profile on Match? I make no promises not to blog. Which might be why no one wants to take me out.

    MsDarkstar: You are really good at this!

    MrsBlogalot: ..And as the bombshells of my daily fears explode I try and trace them to my youth…
    I love that song. The first time I heard it I was in a record store in Poulsbo, WA. It was one of those moments that for some reason sticks with me, because of the song.

    Linda: Those are great! Funny, sexy and intriguing. Much better than a Commodore song.

  • Reply CatLadyLarew March 8, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    I’m lovin’ Linda’s ideas for tag lines! She has such a way with words!
    .-= CatLadyLarew┬┤s last blog ..The Late Night Adventures of Tilly, the One-Eyed Cat =-.

  • Reply injaynesworld March 8, 2010 at 7:09 pm

    I tried a dating site once. I titled my profile, “Not For Amateurs…”

    It didn’t go well.
    .-= injaynesworld┬┤s last blog ..injaynesworld brings you the "Sunday Recap…" =-.

  • Reply Jay March 8, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    I would offer to help too, but my last personal ad got no responses at all. I was quite disappointed too. I thought it was clever. Here, you read and let me know…

    “Quiet, reserved man seeks shy girl for disappointing evenings out.”

    I really don’t understand why I didn’t get a bigger, or any, response. ­čśë
    .-= Jay┬┤s last blog ..A Good Day and The Bloggerhood Is Awesome … =-.

  • Reply Nicole March 8, 2010 at 7:47 pm

    I won’t be one to come up with a tag line, but I like “I can cook! No, Really!” and ÔÇťFormer nun seeks same for friendship and moreÔÇŁ. Okay, IÔÇÖm not really and you donÔÇÖt have to be either.

    Jen, it’s HARD to sum up a friend in a tag line when you know so many great things about them…don’t feel bad, you just know her too well.
    .-= Nicole┬┤s last blog ..I Caught a Keeper =-.

  • Reply meleah rebeccah March 8, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    “The moment you ask me to write about anything I get complete writers block. I start checking my email, I run a load a laundry, bathe the dog, anything to avoid having to write about one particular topic.”

    HA! I am the SAME exact way!

    And Jen, this cracked me up:
    “when I wrote my own profile, was a guy who had the worlds worst set of teeth.”

    AHAHHAHAHHAHAHH
    .-= meleah rebeccah┬┤s last blog ..Doing Things DifferentlyÔäó ÔÇô My Week In Review [Part Five] =-.

  • Reply Krisyt March 8, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    LMAO, internet dating is horrifying… I’m still psychologically scarred… Good luck to her… I met some crazy guys, but I’m pretty sure women are crazy too!

  • Reply Jen March 8, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    Catlady: They are wonderful and if I ever venture out there again I am going to steal them.

    Jayne: One would think that tagline would attract a whole bunch of men. Not the kind you bring home to mom but interesting I am sure.

    Jay: Seems to me you and Jayne might hit it off. That one is really close to mine. Which is why it is best to wait more than three days to go online dating after your husband walks out.

  • Reply Grandy March 8, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    Here’s some taglines for ya red…
    “Well I’m Hot Blooded, HOT BLOODED!!”

    Or how about something from Air Supply? Nahhh…as much as I always sing along to their songs, they truly want to suck the air supply out of me. ­čśë

    Just be yourself pretty lady!! ­čÖé
    .-= Grandy┬┤s last blog ..You Didn’t Just GO There? =-.

  • Reply Jen March 8, 2010 at 9:26 pm

    Nicole: That is exactly why it is so hard to come up with something, plus I don’t really know what lesbians look for. Lola has educated me about the differences between gay and straight online dating, which is another post for another day, but I don’t know all the nuances in gay dating. I don’t know the nuances in straight dating either.

  • Reply Jen March 8, 2010 at 9:30 pm

    Meleah: Oh the stories I could tell about my dates. Which is why I get married so often. At least if I am married I don’t have to date anymore.

    Kristy: I have met some freaks online too but I am so thankful I don’t have to date women, we are crazy.

    Grandy: When I need one I’m taking Linda’s taglines. Though Hot Blooded might be perfect for Lola.

  • Reply Paul March 8, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    You should limit the amount of text on a profile as much as possible. Men using a dating site will only want to know your measurements, how many children you have, and possibly, if you have ever been arrested before. A lot of text may scare them off, it gives the impression that someone likes to talk too much.

    If you find someone you click with, you will have plenty of time to learn about each other ­čÖé
    .-= Paul┬┤s last blog ..How To Chat Up A Girl =-.

  • Reply Jen March 8, 2010 at 9:48 pm

    Paul: That is exactly what I would do except that Lola is looking for a lady. Which would make a good excuse for why I couldn’t come up with a tagline.

  • Reply Linda Medrano March 8, 2010 at 11:43 pm

    I’m sorry kids! Tag lines are tag lines! They are not one sex oriented! They are catchy and crazy and unless you are an ex-nun (or priest) they work fine! Ask me how I know and I’ll never tell. Even if I’m tortured.
    .-= Linda Medrano┬┤s last blog ..Memories Of The George V Paris =-.

  • Reply Nicky March 9, 2010 at 4:53 am

    I’m amazed nobody came up with “If you like pina coladas…” I’ve never used internet dating, but I have friends who have told me horror stories as well as love stories.

    Based on their experiences, if you want something catchy and different how about:

    “I don’t live in my parent’s basement” or “No, you can’t borrow money from me”
    .-= Nicky┬┤s last blog ..He Apologizes In AdvanceÔÇŽ =-.

  • Reply Don E. Chute March 9, 2010 at 7:27 am

    Redhead–I know, right! Just as soon as someone says, please write….(blank). Especially when it comes to yourself, humm–gettin a block right now?

    You are a Classic. By Classic I don’t mean old–Just one of a kind! An’ I don’t care about teeth, anywhoo.

    Tell you what though! I haven’t had a ‘date’ in like 25years(marriage is a bitch). I’ll write your profile, If you write mine? Is it a deal?

    Peace, Love, and Understanding–Elvis Costello
    .-= Don E. Chute┬┤s last blog ..DON E’s —TRIP TO THE HEALTH CLINIC =-.

  • Reply Grampy March 9, 2010 at 8:40 am

    Alright I did the dating site game. My opinion is just be yourself. Don’t try to write something you think someone wants to hear.
    And by the way I tweeted this post. Added a little Lola is looking for a friend.

  • Reply meleah rebeccah March 9, 2010 at 11:28 am

    oh I hear that. That’s exactly why I DON’T date either. One of my girl friends Patty is FOREVER meeting guys online, {match.com, plenty of fish, e-harmony ect} and her horror stories are more than enough to keep me out of the dating game.
    .-= meleah rebeccah┬┤s last blog ..Doing Things DifferentlyÔäó ÔÇô My Week In Review [Part Five] =-.

  • Reply Laura March 9, 2010 at 1:03 pm

    “Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
    with pink feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there”

    I just want to say Thank you, cause now that song is in my head ­čÖé

    Also the Indigo Girl song you were looking for is Ghost!

    I have a match.com post out tomorrow – I am helping my friend Dan try to find love.

    I did a teriible job writing anything for him.
    .-= Laura┬┤s last blog ..Tyler Talks: Ask Tyler =-.

  • Reply Buggys March 9, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Online dating, or any other kind scares the spit right out of me. Hopefully my dating days are way past. There are some great choices here Lola. Just change your tag line each week and let us know which one works the best.
    .-= Buggys┬┤s last blog ..Nike Shaky on Roethlisberger =-.

  • Reply Jen March 9, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    Linda: You are and hopefully will remain, a woman of great mystery.

    Nicky: Most of the guys I have met online would not be able to use the ÔÇťI donÔÇÖt live in my parentÔÇÖs basementÔÇŁ tag line.

    Don: Not sure you read the post, don’t know how to answer.

    Grampy: Thanks, that was sweet. And you are right if she is herself she will have no trouble, of course she wasn’t having any trouble to start with. The girl has dates coming out of her ears.

    Meleah: Me too, that’s why I’m hanging out in my castle waiting for someone to pull up in front of my house on their white steed, or Harley.

    Laura: I’ve already put in my order. Ghost, one of my all time favorite songs. Wonder why I couldn’t remember anything about it. Oh yeah, because I have the words to every theme song to a childrens show stuck in my head. For some reason the Wiggles is playing today and I haven’t seen them in years.

  • Reply Jen March 9, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Buggys: I remember when I took a breath for a moment and believed my dating days were over. It was a nice moment of relaxation. Dating sucks.

  • Reply Lola March 9, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    You all are coming up with some great, humorous tag lines. Keep em coming!

    One thing though, anything that is ‘suggestive’ is out. For some reason it turns women off, even if you think you’re being funny. I do love the “Hot blooded” one. Love me some Foreigner.

    @ Grampy – Thank you for re-tweeting, but I got no tweets on this. It was sweet of you.

    @ Jen – I don’t have dates coming out of my ears, or anyplace else for that matter. Granny a** has said sayonara sucka, which is fine with me. I don’t need an old fuddy duddy with “issues”. But I am chatting with a few and getting to know them. Hey, I just came up with a new post idea, watch for it on Thursday!
    .-= Lola┬┤s last blog ..Review – CSN Stores =-.

  • Reply peedee March 9, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Lola, I have a ton of single friends for you!!! Come to Fort Lauderdale!!
    .-= peedee┬┤s last blog ..Twofer Tuesday =-.

  • Reply Lola March 9, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Oh hell, I can’t wait, I put my post up now. Go check it out and give me your questions:

    http://lolasdiner.blogspot.com/2010/03/questions-to-ask-pre-date-or-on-date.html
    .-= Lola┬┤s last blog ..Questions to ask pre-date or on a date… =-.

  • Reply Maureen@IslandRoar March 9, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    I have not tried the online dating thing yet, but I know the time is coming. I promise not to ask you for advice…
    .-= Maureen@IslandRoar┬┤s last blog ..Trusting My Gut =-.

  • Reply Lin March 9, 2010 at 7:05 pm

    It would be hard because I wouldn’t know how to “sell” another woman to a woman. What exactly are they looking for?? Hell, I don’t know what men are looking for these days I’ve been married so long!
    .-= Lin┬┤s last blog ..Tomatoes for Jesus =-.

  • Reply Anne-Marie March 9, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    On line dating can go “both” ways (sorry for the pun). I know of a couple of people who have found their match (still going strong after 10 years) and those who were scarred or is it scared. Damn. My first language is French and my spelling is not great. Its my first time visiting. It was fun and I shall be back ladies!

  • Reply MikeWJ at TooManyMornings March 10, 2010 at 12:10 am

    If Jen couldn’t get it, neither can I. But I’ll try.

    Lola’s Diner
    That’s Lola With A Capital L [insert a nice scripty-looking L at the end where that regular-looking L is now]

    Lola’s Diner
    Fizzy As Cola, Smooth As Gravy, Sweet As Pie

    Lola’s Diner
    Good Eats, Sweet Treats

    Lola’s Diner
    Gourmet Thinking At Blue-Plate Special Prices
    or
    A Slice of Life Served a-la-mode (accent mark over the first a)

    I’ll keep thinking about it……
    .-= MikeWJ at TooManyMornings┬┤s last blog ..It Was The Food On The Ceiling That Did It =-.

  • Reply shrinky March 10, 2010 at 4:52 am

    Ah, as my old gran used to say, what’s for you won’t go past you (just a shame she never added it might take another fifty or so years first, eh?)!!

    Has Lola thought of running an ad in a mag? That’s how I met my other half (admitedly, he was the last one on the list I contacted, but I had a ball working my way through all the other 60 (grin).

    Btw, my browser link is silly playing silly sods with me, to access my site I am afraid you need to go directly to www.http://shrinky1.blogspot.com/
    .-= shrinky┬┤s last blog ..ARGHHHHH! =-.

  • Reply Secretia March 10, 2010 at 5:59 am

    She respects you and values your opinion.

    Secretia
    .-= Secretia┬┤s last blog ..~Secretly Feeling Bored Most of the Time~ =-.

  • Reply Stacie March 10, 2010 at 6:24 am

    I met my husband through an online dating site. Although I was just looking for friends in the area. I get that way too. If I have to write about something specific my mind goes blank and I can’t write. My dad asked me to help him with a business letter for school. I tried my hardest turned it over to him and said sorry I can’t. I have a hard enough time writing a letter like this for myself. Needs your personality I told him. LOL

  • Reply joann Mannix March 10, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    Hi Jen!

    It’s nice to meet you and definitely nice to find your blog. I am totally the same way as a writer. I can expound with the best of them on trivial crap, but the minute I’m asked or required? Gaaaa, all thoughts fly out the window.

    I wish Lola all the luck in the world in finding someone who is three times a lady with nice teeth. And so it’s not true? They’re not all stunning lookers on Match.com? Because, those people on the commercials who claim they’ve found true love on a dating site are all extraordinarily beautiful. I was thinking to myself, maybe I should join if they’re all really that hot. But, I’m not sure how my husband would feel about that.
    .-= joann Mannix┬┤s last blog ..Bite My Gobble-Gobble =-.

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