I’m Having an Adult Toy Party

October 15, 2009

An adult gathering with a bunch of women, and a couple of guys just for fun. Actually I’m having an adult toy party, but that doesn’t sound like nearly as much fun as a sex party.

We don’t talk about sex in St. Paul. If you want to talk about sex you have to cross the river and go to Minneapolis where they talk about it all the time, they also do it a lot more I understand. Minneapolis has a booming sex industry. They have blocks in down town that are devoted to sex toys, sex shows, gentleman’s clubs and tons of hookers who look like hookers. St. Paul has hookers too but they look like middle aged soccer moms. They dress in their parkas and mittens, there is no flash of skin.

I suspect if you hire a hooker in St. Paul she will take you to her place and make you a hot dish.

St. Paul used to have a large and seedy sex industry in the 60’s and 70’s. In fact I grew up less than a mile away from it. It was located on University Avenue which back then was the street you went to if you were buying a car or needed to find some lovin’. The street was lined with nothing but adult bookstores and adult movie theaters. There were a few pool halls where most of the hookers hung out during the cold winter months. Today all the car dealerships are gone, they left before the auto industry imploded, and all the sex shops have been converted to Asian restaurants. There remains one lone adult bookstore but even that store seems to cater to a foreign crowd, there are posters of aliens, as in out of this world aliens, covering up the windows. We may just have our own x-rated area 51.

When the sexual revolution of the late 60’s and early 70’s was at it’s peak the moms of St. Paul decided to take matters into their own hands and destroy it. We are a prudish town and if the moms of the city don’t want to have sex, or even hear about, then no one else is going to have any sex and if they do they certainly aren’t going to enjoy it. Sex in St. Paul was deemed purely for procreation only. Our population has been in a decline since the 1960s.

I’m giving you this history of sex in St. Paul because having this party is risky. I’ve invited a bunch of St. Paul moms, a few single women and a couple of gay men. The last time I talked about sex with another person from St. Paul was back when I first started having it.

The conversation went something like this:

Friend: Did you do it?

Me: Yeah, I did it.

Friend: Wanna go get a Slurpee?

That was it. We don’t talk about sex. We don’t talk about technique, position or props. We don’t even use euphemisms. If someone mentions they were cleaning the carpet, dipping the wick or feeding the kitty you can bet that in fact they were cleaning the carpet, making candles or had just fed the cat.

So this party is a big deal. I have been to one of these parties before, most of the women I have invited have not.  Which is not to say that they are not excited about the idea of sampling different sex toys, motion lotions and other sex paraphernalia, they are, they just hadn’t been asked to before.

Of course any of the toys these women might buy are for “friends” or “friends of friends” who are too ashamed to buy their own toys.

The party is in early November. I’ll be sure to post about it after it happens, maybe even some pictures if I can block out every one’s eyes.

* I was going to insert an image of some sex toys but when I Googled the term I was shown millions of sites that I really don’t want to wade through let alone click on. Sorry, you’ll just have to search for your own.

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  • Reply Mike October 15, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Wow..this post is totally going to bring you some perv traffic 😀

    I never thought of Minneapolis as having a booming sex industry. Thanks for the post.

    Here in Montreal we’re pretty jaded about the numerous ‘full contact’ strip clubs lining Ste-Catherine. As kids, we used to laugh at the cheesy neon stripper signs and our parents (mine anyway) never tried to shield us from seeing them. It’s impossible. There are strip clubs sandwiched between Gap and American Apparel stores. Anyway, we turned out normal. Mostly 😉

  • Reply Lola October 15, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    I used to belong to a yahoo group for lesbians that posted events. People would post events in the community and private parties. Someone posted a sex toy party. Since I was newly unattached I thought it might be fun to meet some ladies and have an opportunity to purchase some ‘toys’. I rsvp’d and was emailed back a contract. Apparently this was a sex toy party AND a sex party. I started reading the contract and started freaking out. The contract said such things as ‘whatever happens at the party stays at the party’. Ok, I get it, it’s like Vegas. But then it also said that just because you hook up with someone, doesn’t make them your girlfriend and if you see that person after the party you aren’t allowed to mention your rendezvous and you cannot stalk them. There was also much more graphic rules. Needless to say, I didn’t go to the party. I did have a friend who attended and I’m still trying to wash my ears out after hearing what went on.

    Sex Toy parties can be fun, especially with a mixed crowd. Anastasia and I went to one a few years ago. We were the 2 lesbians amongst a crowd of straight girls. It was hilarious seeing the rep trying to cater to us and the straight girls. I wish I were a fly on the wall to see how your rep handles trying to sell to your gay guy friends.

  • Reply Jen October 15, 2009 at 2:53 pm

    Mike, we have no touch strip clubs. There is to be no contact between the patron and stripper, which by the look of some of the strippers is probably a good and safe thing. I grew up with a massage parlor a block from my house and I lived in a really nice neighborhood, there was a gay bar a half a block away. Minnesota is the land of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell so as long as these companies kept their patrons and clients to themselves the neighbors didn’t care all that much. I do remember as a child going into the massage parlor with a friend, we said we needed to use the phone but really just wanted to see what it looked like inside. I think there was a well known local politician on the table sporting a bit of wood. It’s an art gallery now.

    Lola, I wasn’t asked to sign anything so I’m pretty sure it’s just a tupperware party for vibrators.
    The rep who is doing this party is apparently the best in the business. I am told that she gives demonstrations on how to give a better blow job. I hope to get pictures of that, though I am not sure I will post them since this is a family friendly blog. Stay tuned.

  • Reply Becky October 15, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    I’m VERY sorry I have to miss this. If you do it again, have it in my store. That would be a gas!

  • Reply Anne October 15, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    I used to spend summers in St Paul in the 70s. It must have been after the cleansing since I don’t remember a single adult bookstore or movie theater (although I do remember my first exposure to Target). Have a great time! I have been and I found it very educational.

  • Reply Jen October 15, 2009 at 9:02 pm

    Becky, I’m sorry too but we will definitely have a party in your shop. I’ve already told the girls about your darling spatique and they can’t wait to meet you.

    Anne, It must have been, you couldn’t have gotten through town without seeing it, it was a little scary, we’d drive through and lock the car doors. Target is of course the king of the minnesota retail stores. They started out as Dayton’s a great store bought by Macy’s in the last decade. Dayton’s realized the money was in their Targets and changed their course from high end retail to mass retail. I still miss Dayton’s. In the opening credits for the Mary Tyler Moore show, I think when she throws her hat, you can see the Dayton’s logo on the building behind her.

  • Reply Katherine October 15, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    Too funny.. yup the traffic you will get. LUCKY!
    I haven’t been to one but a co-worker said she had one and they had her 80 year old grandmother there. They passed around a circumcised penis vibrator and the women nodded their heads and smiled. It got to her old French grandmother and she just passed it on. Then they passed around an uncircumcised penis vibrator and she held it, nodded and smiled. Yup, old French town, old woman, old tastes – she still had it!
    Oh feel free to edit any words you don’t want searched on here ha ha….

  • Reply Jen October 15, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    Katherine, that is too funny about the French grandma. I didn’t realize that vibrators came in circumcised and uncircumcised, I thought once they were up there was little difference in how they looked. I wouldn’t know I’ve seen one uncircumcised penis in my life and it scared the hell out of me.

  • Reply MadMadMargo October 15, 2009 at 10:47 pm

    I went to a sex toy party…once. It was women. We had the best time holding the various size and colored dildos. Wouldn’t ya know, the host served sushi. LOL!

  • Reply Jen October 15, 2009 at 10:50 pm

    MadMadMargo, I was thinking sausage, hot dogs and various salamis for the menu, maybe some of those little cocktail wienies too.

  • Reply moooooog35 October 16, 2009 at 8:05 am

    Just remember to post the video of the lesbian pillow fight that’s sure to ensue.

    Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

  • Reply Jen October 16, 2009 at 8:08 am

    Moooooog, I absolutely will post the video because we all know that when straight women get together over wine, sausage and sex toys that they all take off their clothes and start a pillow fight. I think it’s a rule somewhere.

  • Reply JD at I Do Things October 16, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    Wheee! I’d love to come. Have you ever checked out the site Eden Fantasys? They have some good stuff. So I’m told — I certainly wouldn’t know.

    Have fun!
    .-= JD at I Do Things´s last blog ..I Eat Sardines so you don’t have to =-.

  • Reply lenox knits October 16, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    I went to one once and had a good time. It was mostly women I didn’t know so I wasn’t as comfortable as the rest of them who all knew each other. The ordering process was all very discreet, much better than going into one of those places you spoke of. Hope you have a great time!

  • Reply nipsy October 16, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    OMG… first off thanks for your comment.. made me feel much better, both of em..

    Second off, I love sex parties!!! Hilarious. Especially when the odd toys are brought out.. Have a blast!!

  • Reply nettagyrl October 17, 2009 at 12:14 am

    OMG! hahah I’m sorry But I laughed out loud at this post! =D Out here they call em passion parties. A bunch of women get together get drunk then go crazy over the toys being passed around. The last one I went to about 2 mos ago got really raunchy, and now they have a stripper pole in the inventory, so some of the women had a bit a fun! haha

    BTW I’ve a surprise for you on my blog:

  • Reply CatLadyLarew October 18, 2009 at 7:33 am

    I’d come… I mean attend. Or maybe both. I’d buy something “just to be nice” and all.
    (The only place I frequent on University Avenue when I’m in St. Paul is Ax Man… I suppose some of the stuff they have there could double for sex toys!)

  • Reply Stephanie October 18, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Sounds like the party is going to be fun 🙂
    I can’t wait to hear how it goes over!

  • Reply Man Over Board October 18, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    LOL funny post. All you have to do is put SEX in your post title and you always get tons of hits. Maybe St Paul is kinda closed lipped on talking about sex and toys, because isn’t that where Mary Richards lives/lived. Think Lou Grant would get mad or worse, Ted Knight would stop by and get some toys for him and his girlfriend,( who I can’t remember what she was called on the TV Show). Oh for those who don’t remember the show it was the Mary Tyler Moore show ah way back in the day, 🙂 Have a great day.

    Oh one last thing is that really all your hair in the icon picture you use for your blog?????

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