I Resolve

December 28, 2009

The end of the year is upon us. Not only is it the end of another year but also the end of a decade.

I can’t believe how fast the last ten years have gone by. It seems like just yesterday that I was glued to the television waiting for all the bad things to happen when the Y2K bug hit.

It never did.

But it still seems like it just happened.

I can’t sum up the last ten years easily. There were some amazing highs. I got married, I had another baby, I started writing again. And there were some horrible lows. I had a miscarriage, I got divorced, my father died. When I wasn’t experiencing a high or a low I was trying to recover from one of them. Most of the last ten years have been spent trying to move on from one thing or another.

This last year was no different and it has dawned on me that I am letting my life happen to me rather than making it happen. I have spent the last decade reacting rather than directing.

I’ve made resolutions before, some I have stuck with others went out the window after a few days. I still want to lose some weight, make more money and find a man, but more importantly I want to make time to take care of myself. I suspect the weight loss, money and man will simply happen if I make better choices.

I rarely have specific resolutions. Usually they are rather broad like the three mentioned above. This is probably why I have yet to achieve them this decade. I know that setting specific and realistic goals is the way to reach them however it is also a way to fall flat on my ass when I don’t achieve them. Fear of failure or success depending on how you want to look at it I guess.

I do have a couple of resolutions for the new year that are specific.

I want to write more consistently on my blog. At first I thought about writing a post every day, and I can do that but the quality of the posts will surely suffer so I’m going to spare everyone that but will focus on writing more consistently. Which means I have to get out in the world more often. I might find Stanley and my children amusing but for everyone else they probably get a little old. I think I may hang out at Wal*mart on a regular basis because Wal*mart is always funny. I do have some big plans for this blog over the next year but no specifics at this time. I’ve got people who are going to help me turn this little blog into a pretty cool place to visit, so stay tuned.

I also resolve to wear regular jeans again. Jeans that have been horribly termed “mom jeans”. I resolve to never again wear pants that do not come up to my belly button. I am not a plumber and do not need to show my butt crack to anyone. I spend so much time during the day hiking my pants back up, invariably creating the dreaded camel toe, until I sit down again and then my ass is exposed. It’s a no win situation with these damn jeans that have been in style for the last decade. I want regular straight leg jeans that don’t ride down and still allow me to move or sit cross legged on the couch if I want to. I don’t want bell bottoms or “boot cut” as they have been labeled. I don’t need a flare at the bottom of my pants. I’m not the most graceful person and don’t need more things to trip on.

Those are my resolutions for the next year and the next decade. What are some of yours?

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  • Reply injaynesworld December 28, 2009 at 11:59 am

    Jen…. What a beautifully written piece. I agree with the speed in which this decade has blown by. You’ve done a great job with this blog and I look forward to seeing what comes next. You’re right about posting quality writing as opposed to quantity crap.

    You’re a damn fine broad and I’m glad our paths have crossed. Happy New Year, my friend… and I resolve to no longer taunt you about the size of my ass… 😉 Jayne

    P.S. Having a man?… So overrated.
    .-= injaynesworld´s last blog ..injaynesworld it’s time for the "Sunday Recap…" =-.

  • Reply Valerie December 28, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    Stopping by from Nanny Goats In Panties, sounds like a tough 10 years, here’s to you making life happen.

  • Reply Margaret (Nanny Goats) December 28, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    Four letters, Jen: NYDJ. (Not Your Daughters Jeans) They cover butt cracks well and you can move around in them. And I agree about quality vs quantity on the blog posts too. Keep writing, girl!

  • Reply Lin December 28, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    How about a mid-rise jean? It’s a swell compromise between “ouch” and choking.

    I like your resolution to write more–I always do that too. Although I do write a lot–I’ve scaled back on weekends. I do refer to the animals and people in my life more than I’d like to, but they ARE my life and they are what gives me pause currently. Sure there are other happenings in between, but such is my life for now. Joyfully so. I literally have 4 more years and then everyone will be out and I will be writing of my loneliness and boredom. I’ll gladly write of the madness now while I can. It’s me–I embrace it.

    Happy New Year, Jen. Good luck in your quest for love and good jeans. You deserve both. 🙂

  • Reply mrsblogalot December 28, 2009 at 7:04 pm

    NO resolutions here my friend! I’ve learned my lesson!

    But I’d love to people watch with you at Walmart any day!
    .-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..No Name Today =-.

  • Reply mrsblogalot December 28, 2009 at 7:05 pm

    Oh and btw, your blog house has always been a really cool place to be!!!!
    .-= mrsblogalot´s last blog ..No Name Today =-.

  • Reply MikeWJ at TooManyMornings December 28, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    ” I am letting my life happen to me rather than making it happen.”

    I can’t tell you how much that statement seems to apply to my life right now. After years of riding out various storms, I recently decided to take charge of my life again. We’ll see how it goes — for both of us, huh?

    P.S. — Why is a camel toe dreaded? I don’t mind them so much.

  • Reply PJ December 29, 2009 at 9:25 am

    I have no resolutions of my own. I enjoyed reading yours. There’s a refreshing honesty to your writing.

    “Life is what happens while you’re making other plans”….don’t resolutions fall under ‘plans’ somewhere?

  • Reply Anne December 29, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    I didn’t even realize they made low rise jeans for me. I just thought they didn’t fit right. I guess that means I am painfully out of style. I had no idea. Now I have to go sulk in a corner for a while.

  • Reply Linda Medrano December 29, 2009 at 12:52 pm

    I love this! You are my kind of girl! And don’t worry about losing weight. Find a man who likes butts! I did. You can. Happy Holidays!

  • Reply Comedy Plus December 29, 2009 at 12:53 pm

    I hear you about the jeans. I’ve been there for a very long time.

    As for resolutions…I don’t do them. I won’t follow through so I just don’t set myself up for failure. I can’t remember how far back this goes. It’s been many, many years.

    Good luck with your resolutions. I hope you succeed in every single one of them.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  • Reply Jenn Brockman December 29, 2009 at 12:56 pm

    I just finished reading about using “I am” statements and it sounds like you could start using some.
    I am a fine and consistent writer.
    I am wearing the right jeans that still make my butt look good but cover all the cracks.
    I am happy with my life.
    I am attractive to a good man.

    There are some suggestions. Practice, Practice, Practice.

    And yeah, your blog is a great place to hang out already.

  • Reply Jen December 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Jayne: You have a size 4 ass, as you have told me repeatedly, even if you stop telling me I will still know. Please post when it gets larger, or start eating some Ding Dongs.

    Valerie: The previous decade was much worse so if the trend continues they are actually getting better. Happy New Year to you.

    Margaret: I’m going to check those jeans out. I really just want to fit into my Levis again.

    Lin: I remember a time when there were jeans for men and jeans for women. None of these mid-rise, low-rise, butt crack or no butt crack options. I truly think if I can find the perfect pair of jeans everything else will fall into place except of course for my boobs and that is a post in and of itself.

    mrsblogalot : Name the time and we are there. I’ll bring the camera.

    Mike: Here is to taking charge. I suspect a camel toe hurts on a guy and might look a little funny, not that they don’t already look funny.

    PJ: Thanks, I try to keep it honest, sometimes painfully so.

    Anne: That’s the problem, they don’t fit right on people over the age of 12 who have curves. The only way to make them stay up because they are cut so funny is to have a muffin top which looks hideous on anyone. No sulking, revel in you mom pants!

  • Reply Jen December 29, 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Linda, I have met many men who like butts, Sir-mix-a-lot comes to mind. Finding a guy who likes my shape isn’t the issue, I want to lose some weight so I feel better about myself. I’m not talking Biggest Loser kind of weight loss just a few pounds.

    Sandee: I don’t usually do resolutions either, I think about them, even post about them but don’t kick myself about them. I don’t do Lent either but only because it’s usually a few days in before I realize it is Lent and then it’s just too late.

    Jenn: I can say all those statements except for the jean one. They do not make my butt look good, only a better cut pair of jeans will do that which is precisely why I am resolving not to wear them anymore.

  • Reply Pricilla December 29, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    Oh, I was here yesterday and thought I posted but I guess not. *sigh*
    Luke kept escaping and getting into the doe pen. Jillian and Abby are in heat. *bigger sigh*
    Guess who are now probably pregnant? *even bigger sigh*

    I guess I resolve to get someone to fix the holes in Luke’s pen. *sigh*
    Anyone want a goat kid?

    But seriously, I resolve to get into my blasted house if it kills me. And it probably will.
    I painted the living room yesterday.

  • Reply Hilary December 29, 2009 at 1:47 pm

    “Reacting rather than directing” hits home for me. That little mouthful is some real food for thought for me. Thanks for that. And I wish you a ver Happy New Year. 🙂
    .-= Hilary´s last blog ..The Menorahty Holiday =-.

  • Reply Doctor Faustroll December 29, 2009 at 2:03 pm

    You know, Jen, if you’re looking for a man, America needs you in the War on Terror. The man is still out there, and you can help hunt him down and round him up, no doubt leading to weight loss and more money (assuming you can hire on with Xe), a virtual trifecta for 2010. Go for it, Jen. Go for it!

    The problem I always have with resolutions is the implication that I have already implemented solutions that are in need of rework. Yeah, so pataphysics is the science of imaginary solutions and most problems are imaginary and therefore lend themselves well to the kinds of solutions I am adept at screwing up, but I still have a hard time saying: “I resolve” when I’m not sure I’ve actually seen the box for the puzzle yet.

    Planning I can do. Enabling I can do. Every year at this time I revel in the power of arbitrary commercial celebrations to empower citizens of the NOMF to joyously empower themselves to fail. More power to them. Help the sea level rise.

    And every year I tell myself that there is no way I can consume more alcohol and drugs than the previous year, but I will, because there’s always a mountain to tumble back down and plant my hurling face in the mud for the entertainment of God and country.

    This year I resolve to solve something so that next year I don’t have to do it all over again.

  • Reply Jen December 29, 2009 at 2:21 pm

    Pricilla: Maybe instead of resolving to fix the holes you should resolve to get someone fixed? I know a little someone who would love a baby goat, and the lawn mower is on it’s last leg so it might be a win-win for everyone.

    Hilary: Happy New Year to you too.

    Doctor Faustroll: Thank you for taking the time to comment on my blog as you so often do. I am always pleased to read what you have to say and even tickled that you read what I had to say, problem is I don’t have a clue what you are actually saying and it sometimes makes my head hurt. It also makes me wonder if I am really stupid or if you are experimenting with some wonderful drug I should know about. Either way, I hope you have a great New Year, sober or not.

  • Reply The Queen December 29, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    I not only wear butt crack jeans, but I like to add thong underwear,, that way you get plumbers crack, whale tale, and muffin top,.. all in one shot.. then.. like my fellow redneck old ladies,,, I hang out by the WalMart doors and smoke… it’s my life..

  • Reply Doctor Faustroll December 29, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Jen: Was I saying something? I hate it when that happens.

  • Reply Jen December 29, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Queen: I’ve seen you standing there, often in a haze of smoke and confusion, also with many children running around your legs trying to dodge the fallen ash. What a Wonderful Life it is!

    Doctor Faustroll: Don’t worry about it, but please stop making my head hurt.

  • Reply CatLadyLarew December 29, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Ah… “letting life happen to me”… story of my life for many years! Blogging is one way I get to rewrite my life… it helps me define who I am for myself, rather than wasting my time trying to guess what other people might be thinking about me. Being thinner and having someone to be in relationship with would be nice, but are no longer critical to my happiness. A good pair of jeans sure would be great, though! I’ll have to check out those jeans Margaret mentioned.
    .-= CatLadyLarew´s last blog ..The "This Time I Really Mean It!" Campaign =-.

  • Reply Fragrant Liar December 29, 2009 at 4:39 pm

    Okay, I resolve to share the secret to a great-looking butt and hips: Levi’s Perfectly Slimming 512 jeans. They rock. Little lycra makes them slightly stretchy. Great fit, real waistline. Comfy. Not mom jeans.

    Wow, I feel cleansed. This resolution stuff just might be for me after all!


    P.S. Here from NGIP. Isn’t this fun?

  • Reply wngl December 29, 2009 at 4:48 pm

    Y2K was pur bull-pucky, I remember. For 2010 I will sell my manuscript and start a new blog, yip-ee-yi-kay.
    .-= wngl´s last blog ..Speechless Tuesday (Holiday Edition) =-.

  • Reply brian miller December 29, 2009 at 6:40 pm

    it is easy to let life take the reigns…sounds like you are on the right track back to directing…

  • Reply Brandy December 29, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    Love this post!! I never set resolutions really but maybe this year I shall … I know I am going to have some blog resolutions … but personal resolutions ugh!! I will def share them when I figured them out 😉 LOL

  • Reply wngl December 29, 2009 at 7:27 pm

    Usually I avoid resolutions like the freakin plague, but this is the dawn of a new (final?) decade and who can resist: I resolve to sell my novel and start on the next, whilst maintaining a regular blog and losing some weight besides. These love-handles drive me crazy! Here’s to you, Ranting Redhead, and the rest of us living up to our promise!

  • Reply Meghan December 29, 2009 at 9:22 pm

    Great blog post. I look forward to reading more frequently. As far as my resolutions go just to try to see other people’s side of the story before always voicing my opinion. Different doesn’t neccesarily mean wrong.

  • Reply Maureen@IslandRoar December 29, 2009 at 9:34 pm

    Not letting life happen to you, just reacting.
    I like that; I feel like that so often.
    I have to confess I like the low rise jeans, but not the butt crack.
    I resolve to make strides in my writing career!

  • Reply Katherine December 29, 2009 at 9:56 pm

    What? Camels have toes? Why do you have a camel?

    So glad you posted – I thought you had fallen off the face of the earth!

    -I resolve to keep trying to kick my gastroparesis in the ass. And to master my metabolism, despite my paralyzed stomach. And therefore, lose weight.
    -I resolve to get my mammogram, which is over a year late. I am the only one of four in my family that doesn’t have cancer, including breast cancer. I’m an idiot letting “time” get in the way of a mammogram.
    -I resolve to somehow, SOMEHOW get my sites back to making more money, even though adsense has sunk to 1/4 of what it used to be. (smart pricing and personalized ads!) I need more money so I can get out of this horrible, destructive marriage.
    -I resolve to try and get out of this horrible, destructive marriage. It’s ALL about money and fear.
    -I resolve to not answer questions like this after drinking a cosmopolitan.
    -I resolve to figure out why camels have toes.

    Missed ya Jen!

  • Reply Katherine December 29, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    P.S. Why did you write it, “Wal*Mart?” I never really paid attention to the sign… is there a pause, or are you avoiding giving them a good commercial?

    P.S.S. My eight year old daughter already knows the phrase, ‘I don’t NEED no stinkin’ man!” Don’t look for him. Because if you do, it will be the wrong one. Just live your life, make it happy, and he will show up completely unexpectedly. Remember Bambi? “Look neither to the right, nor to the left, and then all of the sudden, you walk right into a pretty face!”
    .-= Katherine´s last blog ..Julia Child Never Had To Deal With This! =-.

  • Reply ellen abbott December 30, 2009 at 8:10 am

    Buy men’s Levi’s 501s. They come by the inch, waist and length, sit just above the hip but not cinched around your waist and are roomy enough with straight legs. I’ve given up on women’s jeans…my waist is not that small, I am not a stork and, like you, I hate having to pull them up constantly.
    .-= ellen abbott´s last blog ..sightings =-.

  • Reply joanna jenkins December 30, 2009 at 5:35 pm

    Stopping by from Nanny Goats In Panties. Great post. I’m with you on no more “mom jeans”.

    Happy new year

  • Reply Grandy December 30, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    I have one more day to make it through my 2009 resolution of no anesthesia or “oscopy”. It was real close this last week…but I just might make it.

    I’m thinking 2010 will be a year to try and take things in stride. After Suck-It2008 & Bring-It2009, I’m thinking the cosmic gods will just be happy with me (or at least stop raining on me) if I just approach it as “Right-On2010” or something hip like that. 😉

    Happy New Year Jen!!!
    .-= Grandy´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday – This TOO Shall Pass =-.

  • Reply Jenn Brockman December 31, 2009 at 12:10 am

    Um, you know my soon to be 12 year old made a point today. “Why does any of this matter, the world’s goin to end in a couple years anyway?”

    Hope she doesn’t think of that when she goes back to school on Monday.

  • Reply Mr. Stupid December 31, 2009 at 7:34 am

    Hey there Jen. Great post. Well written… Just wanted to wish you a Happy New year.
    Well my Resolutions…. One of them – “I will conserve water. And to do this, I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible.” Lets see a better world 🙂

  • Reply drollgirl December 31, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    oh man. i relate to this post nearly 100%. i have many of the same goals as you, and i am torn between putting pressure on myself to achieve them, or blowing them off but secretly still hoping for the same results. ugh! i hope you (and I) both find what we are looking for. life is whizzing by, and i am trying to get on the stick and make good things happen, not fret too much, and try to enjoy life more. cheers to a better year in 2010, and cheers to finding the perfect jeans! and a good man. and happiness or at least contentment. 🙂

  • Reply JD at I Do Things December 31, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Wonderful post, Jen. I especially like “I am letting my life happen to me rather than making it happen.” I’m guilty of that too.

    I have a lot of individual goals and plans, but it boils down to making the right choice in whatever situation presents itself. Simple as that. I know what to do, I just need to DO it. So that will be my mantra. And no mom jeans, either.

    Happy New Year!

  • Reply Don E. Chute January 1, 2010 at 10:56 am

    Holly Cow! We must be kindred souls. I have a post in “I want to talk about me”. Your post is spot on though. I need to “direct” not “react”. Let’s stay in touch to see how LIG treats us, as the days wear on. Happy New Year!

  • Reply mike January 1, 2010 at 11:28 am

    Great post, Jen. I do think it’s possible to direct your life while letting it happen to you. Sometimes it just depends on the day.

    That’s as deep as I’m willing to go on January 1st.

    Happy New Year!
    .-= mike´s last blog ..I’ve Seen The Future… =-.

  • Reply Nicky January 1, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Inspiring Jen! Maybe this can keep you going:

    I think in terms of the day’s resolutions, not the year’s.
    Henry Moore
    .-= Nicky´s last blog ..I’ve Seen The Future… =-.

  • Reply MtnGrl January 1, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    I second Nicky’s offering from Henry Moore, resolving for the day not the year. My goals for each day are pretty achievable, I think. See here:
    I already started cooking more, I made pancakes for this first time in forever just this morning.
    Happy New Year!

  • Reply Buggys January 2, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Really a great post, I enjoyed reading it. But then, I always enjoy your blog. I really never, ever make resolutions. Everything sounds good at that moment but I don’t want to set myself up for failure!

  • Reply Ron January 2, 2010 at 8:03 pm

    Beautifully written post, Jen!

    I agree with Mike. My life is like a dance… sometimes I lead, and then other times I let life lead me. It’s acheiving the “balance” that’s challenging.

    Wishing you a beautiful 2010!

    Looking forward to reading the cool stuff you have planned for your blog this year.


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