Not the Hormel product, which may or may not be made with meat, but the crap that people leave in my comment sections on old posts. Since I moved my blog I get more SPAM than I ever dreamed possible. I never had SPAM when I was on Blogger.

I have 2675 SPAM comments. I have deleted most of them but they are crafty little buggers and load up my older posts with URLs to porn sites faster than I can delete them. I have blocked URLs, IP addresses (which I know are fake), emails, and a multitude of prescription drug names. I can never post about Viagra, Cialis, Xanax, Prozac, and a whole bunch I have never heard of because no one will be allowed to comment if they reference the words. I can no longer talk about penis enlargement because I have blocked those words too. This pisses me off because one day I planned on talking about it.

What’s worse is that these people, who need to be dismembered and disemboweled, try to make the comment look real. They leave comments like this:

“Excellent blog with lots of useful information. Are there any forums that you recommend I join?”

“The pleasure of love is in loving.” – Francois de La Rochefoucauld

“I’m the biggest fighter in the history of the sport. If you don’t believe it, check the cash register.”

and my personal favorite

“Great site. Keep doing.”

As if I was just waiting around for the little bit of encouragement. Had it not been for this very encouraging person I might have packed up my keyboard and left the playground. Because he told me to “keep doing” I can stay a little longer.

One of my posts, the I’m Moving post, had 300 comments one morning. I like comments, I think the most a post has ever generated has been about 50 but usually the comments remain in the teens to 20s so seeing 300 comments got me really excited for a brief moment before I had fully woken up and realized what was going on. Because the count was so high, and because it inflated my ego even if they were SPAM, I considered leaving them up, for only a moment, but then I realized that I would be perpetuating their, their, I can’t even think of the word, Badness? Fraud? I don’t really know what to call it but I’m not going to advertise their porn site that they happen to be affiliated with. See, I’m so upset I can’t even write a grammatically correct sentence.

I followed one of the links back to a porn site, found an email address and sent an email demanding that they tell whoever it was who was leaving all this filth on my website to cease and desist. I tried to threaten them but really I have no recourse. I felt dirty just being on their home page. I Bcc’d my son who knows a thing or two about computers, codes, viruses and hackers. Hopefully this will stop soon enough.

Of course all of this is rather ironic.

I am getting all bent out of shape because I had some SPAM that advertised a porn site. Apparently the porn I put on my own site doesn’t count.

I pissed off a lot of people with my post about my party. I’m supposed to be a family blog, how on earth could I post such graphic pictures. At least that is what one of the emails said that I received. I don’t recall saying I was a family blog. I don’t really want children to come and read my posts. I swear a lot and sometimes I talk about grown up subjects. I try to keep it PG, I don’t put really graphic pictures up but still I am considered hard core now?

I guess I made those penis dogs look more realistic than I thought.

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